The Beginning Of The End

With today's comments, Sam McNabb has now crossed the line from protective father to Carl Lindros territory. Based upon his thoughts, I don't see Eric...er I mean, Donovan McNabb's career ending on a positive note here in Philly. As we saw with the "black on black crime" comments, Sam is Donovan's mouth piece when D Mac doesn't want to be attached to a potentially controversial statement. Anyhow, here is the article and here is the most troubling statement:

"I'm not concerned about [the decision to spend the first pick on Kolb]. My son works for the Philadelphia Eagles right now and when he doesn't any longer, there are 31 other NFL teams he can play for."

Clearly, it's only a matter of time before this situation ends badly. Unfortunately, we've become experts in how a relationship between franchise player and organization can melt down in a blink of an eye. We've seen it with Randall, Scott Rolen, Curt Schilling, Charles Barkley, AI, Eric Lindros and most famously with T.O. At this rate, should we just pencil in Ryan Howard for the year 2011 to be the next star to be chased out of town?

Is it me or have we taken the whole "lions eating their young" to a whole new level? We are getting way too good at this.

Taking A Closer Look At The Birds' Draft

I thought it would be useful to take a look at the Birds' draft

2nd Round, 36th overall (from DAL via CLE) - QB Kevin Kolb - As much as I've tried, I can't talk myself into this pick. All day, I read and listened to the national media rip this pick. I can't say I disagree with them. Basically, the Birds wasted a top 40 pick on a guy that won't likely play until his 4th year. On a team that had a number of needs, such a decision was unconscionable.

I was ok with trading down to 36, but the decision to draft Kolb was a flat out mistake. Are you telling me that this team is so good that they could not have used a year one impact from S Eric Weddle, RB Brian Leonard, MLB David Harris, CB Chris Houston, TE Zach Miller, or WR Dwayne Jarrett?

PROGNOSIS: Overall, this pick means that the marriage between D Mac and the Birds may not be as long term as we all once thought. I don't mind the drafting of a QB, but I really do not think it was wise to waste our first pick on one.

2nd Round, 57th overall - DE Victor Abiamiri - This is my favorite pick of their draft. This team needed a bigger, sturdier D end, and this guy appears to fit the bill. His stats indicate that he can also rush the passer as he compilted 10.5 sacks last year at ND, but it sure seems like he beat up on the lesser lights on the Irish's schedule. I didn't see many big plays against USC or Michigan. However, I did see a number of sacks against Navy and Stanford.

PROGNOSIS: I have a feeling this kid will get a lot of PT this year. I really doubt that all 4 DE's ahead of this kid will stay healthy this year. Our DE's never stay healthy. It is inevitable that he becomes a major part of next year's rotation.

3rd Round, 87th overall, (from Dallas) - LB Stewart Bradley - I love the idea of drafting a big, physical OLB to play the strong side. I just question if this big, slow, goofy looking white kid can play in the NFL. Hopefully, he at least contributes on special teams next year.

PROGNOSIS: A project that should hopefully contribute as an every down linebacker by later in the year. On the bright side, the drafting of this kid led to the Bow Tie Man being let go. Thank you, Baby Jesus.

3rd Round, 90th overall - RB Tony Hunt - This kid is war horse. I really like this pick. Yes, I would have preferred my boy, Brian Leonard, or Michael Bush of Louisville, but I can live with this pick. I believe Hunt will have the biggest impact of any draft pick next year.

PROGNOSIS: Finally, the big back we always wanted. He should get at least 4-5 carries a game to pick up 3rd and 1's to keep drives going. I have a feeling that he'll get real familiar with Shawn Andrews, Jamaal Jackson and Jon Runyan.

5th Round, 159th overall (from Dallas) - FS C.J. Gaddis - I like this pick. The Birds took a flier on a kid that came out a year too early and has the tools to become a safety. Hopefully, B Dawk will take him under his wing and teach this fellow Clemson Tiger a thing or two.

PROGNOSIS: Probably not the future replacement at FS for B Dawk, but you never know. This kid does have the corner skills at FS that the Birds covet.

5th Round, 162nd overall - TE Brent Celek - I have two words for Brent Celek..."F&*k You!" Celek had a huge play in Cinci's upset of my Scarlet Knights last year. I'll never forgive the guy until he makes his first positive play for the Birds.

PROGNOSIS: This kid reminds me a whole lot of Matt Schobel, except that he's a little better blocker. I wouldn't expect much out of him.

6th Round, 201st overall - CB Rashad Barksdale - I heard this kid is a pretty good outfielder. Maye we canloan him to the Phils. Lord knows they need outfield help.

PROGNOSIS: Doubt he makes the team.

7th Round, 236the overall - RB Nate Ilaoa - This kid is 5'8" 255 lbs. This is a man after my own heart. He gives me hope that I could've been a professional athlete. Of course, my fat ass couldn't do the 40 in 7.0 seconds let alone a sub 5.0 40 that the NFL requires.

PROGNOSIS: I'm pretty sure he'll end up with Reno Mahe working as a server at Chickies and Pete's come September 10th.

This Pretty Much Sums Things Up

I really feel for the fans in this video. Think about it....They trek up to NYC for the day and hang out and watch the draft. Then nearly 7 hours after the draft starts, the Birds take a back up QB with their first pick, whom if things go to plan, will only play in the preseason for the next five years.

And the national media wonders why phans in this city are so angry.

QB, Kevin Kolb...What The F*(K?!?!?!?

I truly can't make sense of this Kevin Kolb pick. It has pretty much ruined my day. I guess the Birds are saying D Mac's days are measured. It also appears that Kolb wasn't even the best QB available at that point in the draft. I really don't understand it. I'm totally pissed.

Dallas?!?!?!?!?

I don't mind trading out of the first round if the guy they wanted is not there, but Dallas? How can you get in bed with the enemy? If Donovan spends a couple weeks a year running for his life from DeMarcus Ware and Anthony Spencer, then this move is absolutely ridiculous. However, if this move results in my Birds picking Brian Leonard then I might have a meltdown of joy. Stay tuned!

The Draft if Here! (and my Birds pick prediction)

The first ninety minutes at my buddy's party has been tremendous. There has been enough surprises so far to keep me excited. Plus, Brady Quinn is dropping like a rock. Very enjoyable.

Anyhow....my prediction for the Birds is that they pick Reggie Nelson, a safety from Florida. They need a safety and I think Nelson may be available. I also would not be surprised by Jarvis Moss of Florida if he is available.

I just pray my boy Brian Leonard doesn't end up on a rival NFC East team. That's all I ask.

Draft Busts and Steals

With the best sports related event of the year (which isn't really a sports event) on the horizon, it's time for me to put on my Mel Kiper hat and give you some NFL draft busts and steals. I know my opinion doesn't matter a whole lot, but I wanted to throw these out there nonetheless.

Busts:

Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame - As I said earlier in the week, I just think Quinn is nothing but a product of the Notre Dame hype machine.

Alan Branch, DT, Michigan - All I read about this guy is that he is incredibly lazy. Not a good quality for a defensive tackle.

Ted Ginn, Jr., WR, The Ohio St University - Teddy Ginn is a latter day version of Desmond Howard. He'll be a great punt returner, but always leave you wanting more as a receiver.

Leon Hall, CB, Michigan - I watched Dwayne Jarrett abuse this guy in the Rose Bowl and then we learned that Jarrett runs a 4.6+ 40. I don't foresee great things for this guy unless he ends up in a Tampa 2 defense.

Marshawn Lynch, RB, Cal - Putting a guy with bad character in Green Bay may be a good thing, but defenses in the Pac 10 blow so I'm always wary of RB's from that conference.

Steals:

Dwayne Jarrett, WR, USC - Now that this guy is slipping down the draft boards, I think some team is going to find themselves a steal in the 20-30 range. He was ultra productive at SC and has great size to be a big time pro. He isn't blazing fast on the stopwatch, but he sure looked fast on the field. Christ, he seemed like he was always open.

Eric Wright, CB, UNLV - Honestly, I never saw the guy play, but he was supposedly the best DB at USC before he transferred as a result of some character issues. Wright sure is feeling the backlash of Pac Man Jones. It sounds like some team is going to get a first round talent in the second or third round.

Brian Leonard, RB/FB, Rutgers - I really don't need to elaborate here. Just watch this. Witness the man, the myth, the legend.

Michael Bush, RB, Louisville - This guy might need another "red shirt" year to completely recover from his broken leg, but when he fully recovers, he will be a steal. If the Birds can't land Leonard, I would be really happy with Bush in his place.

H. B. Blades, LB, Pittsburgh - I just loved how hard this kid played his entire career. He won't be a star, but he will contribute in this league.

My Favorite Player In The Draft

Here he is. The best player in the draft. In fifteen years, LaRon Landry of LSU will be in the Hall of Fame.

I love Landry's ability to cover and deliver the kill shot down field. He also has the ideal size (6'0", 215 lbs) and speed (4.35 40 yard dash) to be a prototypical safety in today's NFL. Plus, take a look at this video again...who does his blitzing ability remind you of? Maybe a certain someone we've seen patrolling the back end of the Birds defense the past decade or so. That's right, none other than B Dawk.

If the Birds were lucky to have a top 10 pick and could draft this guy, I would guarantee a Super Bowl appearance. Yes, I think this guy could make that much of a difference this year. If you watched last year's Sugar Bowl, he was all over the field against Charlie Weiss' so called complex offense.

In any event, you heard it here first. Fifteen years from now when we look at the best players from the 2007 draft, LaRon Landry's name will be at the top of the list.

Tomorrow: Potential Busts

Break Up The Phils!

Wow...who woulda thunk it? After a 4-11 start, the Phils have won 4 straight, and they are 5 out of 7 since the Eskin/Uncle Cholly affair. It's funny how well the team can play when they start to score some runs and get decent pitching outings. It sure looks like the Phils are taking kindly to the warmer weather.

To our despair, it looks like this team is getting back to becoming "Team Cybil". After totally alienating the entire phan base over the first fifteen games, the Phils are trying to suck us back in faster than Michael Corleone in Godfather III. However, my heart is not won back that quickly. I'm going to have to be wined and dined over a few more wins before I give them my heart again.

Will the winning last? Probably. I'm guessing this team will go on a run that will get them to at least 5 games over .500 and then promptly go 3-7 over their next ten games. That is the M.O. of the Citizen Bank Park Phils.

By the way, someone might want to let the Big Man know that it is ok to get a hit some time this month. Seriously, my man, it's time to stop effing around and start swinging the bat with some urgency. I can't take much more of these belabored at bats.

Mr. Upside

Every now and again someone not named Joe Conklin does a decent sports song parody. Here's a good one sent in my buddy, Aran:

We Win!

Back in 1980, "We Win" was the headline in the Daily News the day after the Phils won the World Series. Well, after Saturday night's events, this headline needs to be broken out again. In case you missed it, we're champions again in the City of Philadelphia thanks to the Kixx.

"Who are the Kixx?", you may ask. I'm not 100% sure, but apparently they are an Indoor Soccer team that plays in the MISL. This article details the pertinent information.

In any event, beggars can't be choosers and since we're so thirsty for a championship in this city, I'll take some solace in this success story. Go Kixx!

NFL Draft Is A Comin'!

I don't know about you guys, but I'm totally psyched about the fact that the NFL Draft is less than a month away. I'm a huge NFL and NCAA Football fan, as evidenced by my non stop articles about RU football. So, a football related event is much appreciated at the end of April. (See what you've done, Phils? You've driven me back to football in the span of three weeks. Nice job.)

Anyhow, while we are all most interested in whom the Birds will select next Saturday and Sunday, I would like to add a few insights as the draft approaches. (Don't worry though, I'll make my Eagles draft prediction some time before the draft.) The first issue I will tackle is the QB debate between JaMarcus Russell of LSU and Brady Quinn of Notre Dame (aka, the Evil Empire).

Since both guys come very high profile teams that are on TV just about every week, I've seen a great deal of both of them. My opinion is that JaMarcus is the MUCH better prospect, than Quinn, who I believe is highly overrated as you will see below.

First of all, Russell may have the strongest arm I have ever seen in my life. Yes, much stronger than Elway, Favre, etc. This guy can probably throw it through a brick wall. I've read he can throw it 70 yards while standing one knee. Plus, while he's built like an Offensive Tackle, his mobility is a little bit above average. He's more Byron Leftwich, than Daunte Culpepper. The only down side I see with Russell is that he's a little bit of a project with reading defenses, decision making and dealing with an NFL quality offense. I've seen him make some questionable throws, but frankly, what young QB doesn't. However, he didn't receive top notch offensive coaching while at LSU, like Quinn did at Notre Dame. If I'm the Raiders, you have to take this guy and let him learn for the first 8-10 game before handing him the keys to the franchise. I'm guessing an offensive coach like Lane Kiffin will find ways to get the most out of JaMarcus.

As for Quinn, I'm not going to say anything you probably haven't read else where. His performances in games this past year against Michigan, USC, and LSU would scare the hell out of me if I was thinking of drafting him. He looked totally uncomfortable playing against the level of defenses these teams had last year. In my opinion, if you can't make big plays against top notch college teams, how are you going to respond against an NFL defense? Plus, Quinn was under the tutelage of the best offensive football coach (Charlie Weiss) in the NCAA last year. I think Quinn might have been a product of the system. Finally, I think he regressed his senior year after losing targets such as Maurice Stovall and Anthony Fasano. In any event, I think Quinn's more worthy of the twentieth pick than the 5th. Of course, my hatred of Notre Dame has no bearing on this opinion.

In my next draft post, I'll list my favorite prospect in the entire draft....(No, it's not Brian Leonard). I'll also try to find a potential bust or two.

Pretty Cool....

You know, it's kind of cool when you have star power like Tony Soprano showing up to your Spring Football game, huh? It kind of legitimizes things, doesn't it?

By the way, Gandolfini is not hopping the bandwagon. He's a RU alum and has been attending games since fellow paisan, Greg Schiano, took over the head coaching job.

In any event, the Spring Game was a success and RU looks poised to start this upcoming season in the Top 20. Yes, folks...we have Big Time College Football within a hour's drive of Center City Philly area.

Life?

Are the Phils starting to recover from their 4-12 start or are the last two games of good pitching and timely hitting a mirage? I can't say it is a total mirage as this team has talent and the bounces were bound to go their way eventually, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself and expect anything resembling a major run towards .500 until I see more from this team.

By the way, I think Myers has shown that he can be effective out of the pen and Flash is really looking his age as of late. I really think they should flip flop roles. Am I alone here?

Also, I'm glad someone finally woke up Chase Utley. He looks like he's ready to take off. Let's hope the same thing happens with the Big Man soon. We need him as well.

Gillick Says Cholly's Here to Stay...For Now

Today, Uncle Cholly just got the dreaded "vote of confidence" from Pat Gillick. The New York Times reports:

Manuel has received a vote of confidence from General Manager Pat Gillick, but in Philadelphia, a vote of confidence is not always different from a last cigarette.

I have to agree with the New York Times on this one. The vote of confidence is usually just as good as getting a kiss from the Godfather. It is a fate sealer. Cholly is done. It's now only a matter of time....and we all be better off once this issue is put to rest.

Of course, Gillick didn't totally throw Cholly under the bus offering this response regarding the Phils' play this season:

"We've got basically the same guys we had at the end of the season ... so I don't see that much decline. ... He can't go up there and hit for them."

By the way, the Phils won Thursday 4-2 over the Nats after trying their best to blow the game in the bottom of the ninth. If wins are going to be this hard to come by this year, it's going to be a loooooong season.

(Man, I can't wait for the NFL draft to get here. I need something else to talk about other than the Phils/Uncle Cholly Tragedy.)

A Sighting!!!

Frankly, I can’t believe who I just saw getting off the Speedline with me this morning at the 8th and Market stop….none other than former Phils’ GM, Ed Wade. Fast Eddie is known for such dubious achievements as:

(1) Hiring Uncle Cholly;
(2) Gave a gazillion dollars, and a no trade clause to Pat Burrell; and
(3) At the time of his firing, being the longest running GM that had never overseen a team that reached the postseason.

I was half tempted to follow him like a stalker to see where he is now working or just walk up to him and ask:

“At what point during the interview process was Elmer Befuddled able to string together enough cogent, strategic thoughts to wow you guys into thinking it would be a good idea to make him the team’s manager?”

In any event, I did neither. I just stared at him like one of my wife’s mental patients. I was shocked to see how far the mighty had fallen.

Desperation

The move of opening day starter, Brett Myers, to the bullpen proves the Phils are more desperate than a 39 year old single woman that feels her biological clock tick, tick, ticking away. Staying with this analogy, making the $25 million wife beater a set up man is akin to the 39 year old single chick shacking up with a divorced father of two that has a prison record, drug problem and list himself as "self employed" on his 1040, just to say she has a boyfriend.

Seriously, you don't give your supposed ace, a 3 year $25 million deal and then move him to the bullpen as a 7th/8th inning set up man. It just makes no sense. Good organizations don't make moves like this; they plan out their roster to make sure there are no gaping holes.

Although, my buddy, Mister Nascar, makes an interesting point. He believes this move is Uncle Cholly's way of calling out Pat Gillick for the inadequate roster he's been given. However, since Manual is a mental midget and clearly unable to make such a sly move, I don't put much stock in this theory.

In my opinion, this move is exactly what it seems to be....a desperate move by a desperate man.

By the way, the Phils lost again tonight, but at least showed a little fight losing 5-4 in 13 innings. Plus, Uncle Cholly showed a lot of class tonight wearing the Virginia Tech cap in tribute to all the people in Blacksburg that lost friends and family in Monday's senseless tragedy.

The Captain's Ashburn Alley Cheesesteak Challenge

My man, the Captain, has thrown down the gauntlet and created the Ashburn Alley Cheesesteak Challenge. Here it is:

"eat one Cheesteak from Tony Luke's then one from Rick's, then belch and fart."

Listen Capt, they don't call me the Tape Worm for nothing. I see your Cheesesteak Challenge and raise you an order of Crab Fries, and a soft pretzel. I've put on more pregnancy weight than my wife. I'm ready. Bring it, bro. Bring it.

Dead Man Walking

After another miserable defeat to the Mets, does anyone have a prediction for when Uncle Cholly gets canned? My guess is 5/10. This team needs a different voice. It's time for Cholly to get put out to pasture.

I'm not saying this mess is all Cholly's fault, as much of the blame can be placed at Gillick's feet, but this team was once again not ready to play at the beginning of the season. I know Cholly harped on this team about coming out strong, but clearly his rants fell on deaf ears.

However, at least Uncle Cholly showed some fire tonight. He apparently challenged Howard Eskin to a fight during the post game press conference. Gotta love the misplaced anger, huh? How about throwing a hay maker at Ryan Madson or Pat Burrell. Those guys are hurting the team a hell of a lot more than the media.

Phils Streaking!

Finally, our Phils are on a positive streak. We finally found a way for the Phils to put a stop to the losing. The rain! The Good Lord has spared us two extra losses by raining out the last two games! Amen, Baby Jesus! Pray for rain tomorrow, fellas. It looks like the weather may be our only hope.

Just a thought, but maybe MLB should hand out a half win for rain outs the way the NHL gives a point for overtime/shootout losses.

Westbrook-gate

Sorry for the lack of the posts the last couple of days. I was unusually busy this weekend getting my house ready to impending arrival of the fruit of my loins.

In any event, I've been wanting to comment on this story since Friday, but haven't had the time. Initially, I had the same reaction as Peter King did in his column today:

I think that Brian Westbrook $3 million overpayment by the Eagles is one of the strangest stories I've heard in a while. How can an organization run as well as the Eagles (Philly's the Microsoft front-office of the NFL) pay a guy $3 million more than he's due? And wouldn't the player, or his agent, say, "Uh, what's this extra $3 million in my check this week?''

Seriously, who wouldn't notice an extra $3M in their pay check? I don't know about you guys, but I notice when my check is $5 more. If there was an overpayment of $3M, I pretty sure I would have a heart attack from astonishment and my wife would spend the money inside of a decade.

Anyhow, the hard working people at Profootballtalk.com uncovered the real story:

Westbrook's 2005 contract extension contained a $3 million roster bonus payable in early 2006. The contract contained language allowing the team, at its option, to convert the roster bonus to a signing bonus. It's a relatively new cap-management device, aimed at permitting the team to reduce the cap hit arising from the payment in the year the money changes hands. As we understand it, Westbrook's contract was the first deal in which the Eagles used such a term.

Given the way that the contract was written, someone in the finance department accidentally concluded that Westbrook was entitled to both a $3 million roster bonus and a $3 million signing bonus -- not either/or. So Westbrook got two checks for totaling $6 million.

And while it's easy to chide Westbrook for cashing the extra check without asking any questions, we're told that the money doesn't directly go to him. Instead, it passes through his own financial management structure. So he didn't know about it until after the check cleared. (It's still unclear, however, whether he knew about the overpayment before the team raised it with him.)

The Eagles noticed the error as part of an internal year-end reconciliation, and the team promptly reported the situation to the league. At the advice of the league office, the Eagles pursued a grievance because clubs have only 45 days to file a claim or risk losing the ability to do so.

The Eagles had no reason to believe that Westbrook might try to stiff them by claiming that they waited too long to file the grievance. But three million bucks is three million bucks, and the safest course of action for the franchise was to preserve their rights by filing the grievance.

Meanwhile, we're told that a hearing has been set on the grievance for May 2007. But it's likely that no hearing will be held, since Westbrook does not dispute that he was overpaid. The delay in getting the money paid arises from the efforts of the team and the player to figure out whether Westbrook will cut a check for $3 million and pursue reimbursement of the taxes that were withheld (which could be a major pain in the butt for him), or whether he will pay the after-tax amount (roughly $1.7 million) and assign to the team the ability to pursue the tax reimbursement.

Technically, the grievance seeks recovery of $3 million plus interest, but it's our understanding that the Eagles won't squabble about the interest, and that there will be no cap consequence arising from the team's failure to recover reimbursement of the interest generated.

With that said, $3 million at an interest rate of five percent racks up $150,000 per year. Thus, we have a feeling that one or more of the other 31 NFL franchises (or, more specifically, one or more of the other three NFC East teams) might have something to say about this specific wrinkle.

Finally, the team is seeking reimbursement not of the $3 million roster bonus, but of the $3 million signing bonus. Thus, the only cap charge that ever would have applied in 2006 is $600,000 (i.e., one-fifth of the bonus payment), and it's our understanding that the Eagles were more than $600,000 below the cap at all times in 2006.

Pretty boring (and technical) huh? I'm guessing the guys at this website were getting their taxes done and got their accountant to help write this post.

From the Request Line

Here you go, Jones.

The Greatest Moment in Pro Wrestling History

I inadvertently came across this clip while reading the Sports Guy's blog this evening and man did it bring back great memories:



Yes, I'm a little bored by Philly sports this week.

J Roll Shows Up, Rest of The Team Doesn't

Phils lost again tonight, 5-3, to the Mutts. The Phils have now lost all three series they have played this year. Definitely an alarming trend. On the bright side, Jimmy Rollins - or Jay Row, as my brother in law calls him for some reason - hit two home runs. Unfortunately, he was only Phils hitter to show up and put forth a professional effort.

Although, I did read on yahoosports.com that tonight's hame involved the oldest matchup of left-handed starters (Jamie Moyer and Tom Glavine) in major league history. Sorry, but that is pretty freaking interesting.

Anyhow, I'm already tired of talking about this team's losses. For everyone that bitched about the football article, I suppose we can continue to talk about:

(a) How much the Phils suck the life out of the Delaware Valley on a daily basis;
(b) How the Sixers continue to win meaningless games and sabotage their chances of ever improving themselves into a contender;
(c) Jon Bon Jovi giving the refs double middle fingers....sorry I never commented on this one...I love how fast Bon Jovi became a true Philadelphian; or
(d) How the Flyers hope to turn around their franchise with a truck load of cap space.

All I know is that the Birds give me hope and I enjoy talking about them. So please excuse me if I talk about something pleasurable.

Stop The Presses!

The Phils bullpen protected a lead! Someone better check in with the Devil and make sure he has his ice skates on because hell might have frozen over.

As bad as the bullpen has been so far this year, the law of averages was definitely on the Phillies side tonight up in Shea. There was no way these guys could be that bad this long. Not only did Six Fingers Alfonseca pitch a one-two-three scoreless 8th inning on only 9 pitches, but Tom Gordon got the save after only allowing one hit! Yes, I am as surprised as the rest of you, but thankful nonetheless. I just hope the 'pen doesn't blow three or four more games before we see a similar adequate performance.

Plus, it was nice to see an opponent finally return the favor by melting down and giving the Phils a victory. While the Phils only pounded out a paltry 5 hits, they were able to score 5 runs thanks to Mets starter Oliver Perez who walked four and hit a man in the third inning to stake the Phillies to a 3-0 lead.

Let's not forget to mention that Adam Eaton surprisingly threw 7 strong innings to get the win. I suppose, that like most other pitchers, he pitches better away from the band box known as Citizen's Bank Park.

Overall, it remains to be seen if these Phils are back on track or if this is just a blip on the radar screen of a disappointing season.

Finally, Something to Get Excited About!

Here it is….the 2007 Eagles’ Schedule:

Date………… Opponent.....................Time........ PSP’s pick
Sun 9/9……....At Green Bay………..1pm………….W
Mon 9/17…… SKINS………………....8:30 ………...W
Sun 9/23……..LIONS………………...1 pm………….W
Sun 9/30……..at NY Giants………..8:15 pm……..L
BYE
Sun 10/14……at NY Jets……………1 pm………….W
Sun 10/21……BEARS………………..4:15 pm……..W
Sun 10/28……at Vikings……………1 pm…………..W
Sun 11/4……..COWBOYS………….8:15 pm……….W
Sun 11/11……at Skins…………….…1 pm……..…....L
Sun 11/18……FINS………………..…1 pm………..….W
Sun 11/25……at Pats………………..8:15 pm……….L
Sun 12/2……..SEAHAWKS………..1 pm…………...W
Sun 12/9……..GMEN…………….….1 pm………......W
Sun 12/16……at Cowboys………….4:15 pm……...L
Sun 12/23……at Saints………………1 pm ………….L
Sun 12/30……BILLS………………...1 pm…………..W

Let me know what you guys think. As you can see above, I have them 11-5, which should be good enough to get them the division title and possibly a first round bye.

I’d love to hear what you guys think.

Be On The Lookout...Birds Schedule to Be Released Wednesday!

According to Profootballtalk.com, the full NFL schedule will be released Wednesday.

I don't know about you guys, but this is always one of my favorite sports moments of the year. About 14 minutes after it is released, my buddy the Captain will go through the schedule game by game and undoubtedly have the Birds finishing 12-4. This announcement will lead to our other buddy, notorious Eagles hater, Mister Nascar, replying that the Captain is obviously high and the Birds are ending up at 8-8. Of course, the more reasonable fans like me and my buddy Johnny Gold will be much more cautiously optimistic and have the Birds at 10-6 and struggling to win a Wild Card Birth.

In any event, I look forward to seeing this year's schedule and seeing where everyone has the Birds ending up next season. Also, I gotta hear where the Irish Jets Nation has the NFL's other team in green finishing.

Flyers Can't Win For Losing

I realize that no one cares, but the Flyers lost the lottery today. They were the worst team in hockey this year by 11 points, but that wasn't good enough to coral the first pick. The Orange & Black are stuck with the second pick this year, which isn't the end of the world since there are no Sidney Crosbys or Alexander Ovechkins available. By all accounts, the top draft prospects this year won't be ready to contribute for a couple of seasons.

This is just more evidence of how we can't catch a break in this city. At this point, our failures are no longer surprising me, no matter how absurd they are. Was anyone surprised by the 7 run 8th inning yesterday? Didn't think so.

I Guess She Liked His Air Guitar and Bow Ties

Dhani Jones sure sucks as a linebacker, but it appears he's really good at picking up drunken, drug addicted ex-Playmates. I wonder why Dhani didn't claim paternity of Anna Nicole's daughter, Dannie Lynn? Judging from these pics, he may have had a case.

If Birds phans get their wish, Dhani will be without a job pretty soon and then he spend all his free time chasing after Heather Kozar, Daylene Curtis, Jenny McCarthy and other former Playmates.

God, I Miss College

This video was sent in by my buddy, George.

Thank God, me and my crew at Rutgers never discovered this little skills competition. I might still be there trying to finish up my degree.

In any event, this video and the sorry state of affairs with Philly sports clinches it for me. I am really going to throw myself into golf this Spring. Lord knows I will definitely need something to occupy my time before Eagles' training camp gets here.

Totally Embarrassing

After today, there's nothing more left to say about this team. The bullpen melted down for the third time in seven games, giving up an 7 run 8th inning to sink the Phils yet again in a 11-5 loss to the Mets. I would comment further on the bullpen, but I'm pretty much speechless at their total lack of professionalism. In case you missed it (although the fans at Shea sure didn't), J Roll also failed to back up his pre season smack talk by booting a potential double play ball that keyed the Mets' rally. Let's hope he learned to keep his mouth shut going forward.

I'm running out of hyperbole to denounce this team. I feel like a woman who keeps coming back to her drug addicted ex husband, yet he remains unfaithful and continues to beat her. Why do we keep coming back? Why do we care? Seriously. Why? Why are we subjected to this crap every year? Surely, we can find something better to do with our time.

As usual, I put the blame at the feet of the ownership group. If this was a business, would the stockholders keep the same Board of Directors in place? Clearly, the answer is no. At this point, I just want the Phils to move to another city, along with the clueless owners, ridiculous wannabe red pin stripes and goofy team nickname. I then want an expansion team in its place under the guidance of uber owner, Mark Cuban and an even goofier team name, like the "Revolution" or "Liberty".

Of course this will never happen, but it's late and I'm about to head off to bed and I want something good to dream about.

Yup, This Pretty Much Sums Up The Season

Thankfully, the Flyers season is now over and all that's left before the Orange & Black move into major rebuilding mode is the end of year autopsy. Well, it looks like Flyers winger, Sami Kapanen got an early start and relayed his feelings on this year:

“It’s been a season-long struggle. Being part of the worst season in franchise history really sucks. You always want a shot at the Stanley Cup, and not even being close at Christmas to making the playoffs, makes it a tough ride. It really, really sucks.”

Amen, Sami. Amen.

Here are some other nuggets from Tim Panaccio's post on Hockeybuzz.com today:

The 45-point dropoff from last season to this was the most ever in hockey, according to Elias Sports Bureau.

**

All the injuries … 301 man games lost

**

“We didn’t expect to be where we are now,” said Comcast-Spectacor chairman Peter Luukko. “It’s so disappointing, especially when you are so used to winning ... But we have plenty of cap room to fill the holes we have and compete at the highest level next season.”

**

“I like to believe some good things will come out of it because it’s a learning process for our young guys,” said GM Paul Holmgren. “Next year from the start of camp, we need to have a strong work ethic to get back into the thick of things. There’s work that needs to be done. It starts with the draft and then preparation for [free agency] July 1st, trying to score big in free agent market.”

On the bright side, the comments from Holmgren and Luuko show that this team is going to be very active in the offseason to improve the team.....Thank the Lord!

Maybe next year, we'll have real live NHL hockey to watch.

This Easter Bunny Laid An Egg

The Easter Bunny was not the only person delivering eggs to the Delaware Valley this weekend. In case you missed it, your Philadelphia Phillies laid a humongous Easter Egg this weekend dropping 2 out of 3 to the Florida Marlins.

Yup, your Phils are only 1-5 in this young season and right back in the same hole as last season. Already, the Phils find themselves 4 games behind the Mets, with a series against the defending NL East champs starting tomorrow. With what we've seen of both teams so far this year, this series has major "ugly" potential for the Phils. I guess all that talk about not getting themselves into an early season deficit wasn't really taken to heart by the players.

By the way, if you were in charge of the Phils and year after year they got off to slow starts, wouldn't you change how things are done in Training Camp? Call me crazy, but doesn't something need to change down in Clearwater one of these years? Management's unwillingness to demand change in this area is just another reason why Montgomery and Company will never win anything in this town.

Lord, this organization annoys me to tears. On the bright side, at least the Flyers season was finally put out of its misery and the heartless Phil Mickelson was a non factor in the final round of the Masters.

Off The Unintentional Comedy Scale

If you read the Sports Guy with any regularity, you are familiar with his unintentional comedy scale. For those uninitated, the unintentional comedy scale delves into all things that aren't meant to be funny, but actually turn out to be pretty freakin' laughable. Well, we just witnessed one of the highest moments of Philadelphia sports unintentional comedy.

Tonight, during the Phils/Fish game on CW Philly 57, Wheels read a promo for the Pussycat Dolls reality show. He seemed to be as uncomfortable as I plan to be with anything ultra-girlie that my unborn daughter eventually gets involved with. Clearly, Wheels is a bit out of his element talking about hot and slutty, musical girl groups.

As if we needed any additional evidence, Wheels should stick to talking about all things "middle-in" and annoyingly overprotecting the Phils. I would have loved to have seen how Harry the K and Whitey would have handled this advertisement. That would have been entertaining. At the very least, I'm willing to bet it Whitey would have thrown in a "Hard to believe, Harry. Hard to believe."

Bullpen Help On The Way?

Pat Gillick, our ex-pat GM who now lives in Toronto, Canada, made a deal today for some so- called bullpen help. The Phils gave up cash to Gillick's home town Blue Jays in return for right handed reliever, Francisco Rosario, who had been designated for assignment (i.e., waived, cut, fired, shit canned, etc.) last week.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm so relieved to hear that we traded for an extra arm to come out of the 'pen, especially when I learned he had a 6.65 ERA in 17 appearances last year. My fears were also allayed when I read that Gillick believes that Rosario "turned a corner this spring" and "has a lot of upside". I don't know about you guys, but I now feel so reassured!

When most teams come into a season with postseason dreams, but later find a glaring hole on their roster, their GM searches far and wide to find a replacement. Not Pat Gillick. Apparently, he trotted his lazy ass a few miles from his home to the Sky Dome and offered cash to the Jays for a retread.

Thanks for the hard work, Pat. Nothing engenders confidence in a GM like a trade of convenience.

Phils' Swept Off Their Feet, But Phans Aren't

There ain't a whole lot to say about today's 8-4 loss to the Braves. Basically, the Phils got taken to the woodshed today after blowing the first two games of the series. Unfortunately, I expect similar result when the Phils travel to Shea to face the Mets early next week. It sure looks like J Roll's comments sure stirred up the bee hives of their NL East brethren.

Overall, I guess I'm not as pissed off as last night. (I guess you can tell by the lack of vitriol in this post.) However, the Phils' start to the season is still pretty friggin' disappointing. In the comments section of yesterday's Gillick article, my buddy the Captain suggested that we give this team 20 games (the equivalent of two regular season NFL games) before drawing any conclusions as to the potential long term success of this team. I suppose that's the prudent, reasonable thing to do, but I live in the greater Philadelphia metropolitan area and it is my absolute birth rite to jump to wild conclusions about our sports team.

As such, after witnessing the first series of the season, my gut tells me that this team is no different than the other Phils' teams of the past 5-6 years which have been mired in "Above Average Mediocrity". This team still lacks clutch, situational hitting and a dependable bullpen.

Therefore, until I see differently, I'm sticking to this early season conclusion....82-80.

The Real Culprit

It is quite clear that what Pat Gillick has done in constructing this team the past offseason is down right criminal. Sure it's easy to pick on Uncle Cholly, but he's only working with the slop Gillick gave him.

I think it's pretty evident that Gillick compiled a team that is pretty much post season ready except for one spot. THE F'N BULLPEN! (Oh yeah, let's not forget the mental midget playing in left field.)

How could he so egregiously overlook such an important spot as the bullpen??? Instead of overspending for 5th starter Adam Eaton, wouldn't it have made more sense to split his $8 million salary between two quality free agent relievers?

Christ, this is maddening. Two outstanding starting pitching efforts have gone for naught as the bullpen is flat out terrible.

Gillick is now reminding me of Clarkie. Everyone knew the Flyers during the Lindros era were championship caliber at every position except between pipes. However, Clarkie never wavered in his desire to bring in retread after retread to play goalie for the Orange & Black. Hopefully, Gillick doesn't wait as long as Clarkie did before correcting a glaring hole.

Someone Might Want To Let Chase Know....

That the season has F'N started and he needs to start hitting! I guess he missed his wake up call. Maybe he should use some of that money he made this offseason and buy himself an alarm clock.

I Hate The Phillies

This is exactly why I have always had trouble committing to this team. They are heartless, gutless pricks who never come up big when it matters. Yes, it is game 2, but they'll scuffle along around .500 then play .600 baseball when they are 10 games out of a playoff spot.

The first time a Phillie does something in the clutch, I might drop dead of astonishment.

(Nothing like a little over reaction on April 3rd, huh?)

The Sarge Needs To Shut Up!

Why did the Phils hire this guy? He's BRUTAL.

Please bring back Scotty Graham. He was great on the radio.

Oh Sh*t

Ryan Madson is coming in!

Lord help us!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have A New Phillie Killer

Yup, you can add Braves catcher Brian McCann to the long, illustrious list of Phillies killers.

In two games this season against our Phils, McCann is hitting .625, 2 homers and 4 RBI's. To make matters worse, I just read that the Braves signed this guy for six years. Wonderful.

To make matters worse, we're heading to Florida to face Hanley Ramirez. I'm sure he's licking his chops already. He demolishes Phillies pitching.

I Hate To Do This...

But is there a worse base runner in the National League than Ryan Howard???

I just watched him get thrown out at home in the bottom of the 8th and as soon as I saw him round third I knew he was (as my man Jules Winfield would say) deader than fried chicken.

I hate to rip the guy because he's an absolute stud at the plate, but he needs to improve his base running or he's going to give me agita.

Ok...let's see if Flash can close this out.

(That is a BIG FAT NOPE! I couldn't even post this before Flash blew the save. MOTHER F&*KER!)

Screw off Sister In Law Banger! No One Saves More Than Bernie!

I realize that only three people will read this article, but I have a real problem with the hockey gods tonight.

This evening, Martin Brodeur of the Devils tied former Flyer, Bernie Parent's record for most wins in a single season. In my mind, Brodeur is not deserving of the record.

First of all, Bernie accumulated 47 wins in a 78 game season which did not have overtime games that were all played to a decisive conclusion. Second and most importantly, Bernie is a much better person that Mar-tan BRO-door. As far as I know, Bernie did not bang the shit out of his brother in law's wife, but that scumbag Brodeur did. Here's a nice little summary of his actions:

Melanie Brodeur alleged that her husband committed adultery "on numerous occasions at a variety of locations." She alleges the adultery has been "ongoing and continuous for a period from the fall of 2002 to present date." The two had been separated before the filing for divorce. Melanie Brodeur alleges that her husband committed adultery with his sister-in-law. His involvement with the village are now done, but the park center is still named after him. Their divorce was completed in 2003.

All I can say to Mr. Brodeur is enjoy the good times now. You've been awarded greatly over the last decade with Stanley Cups, Olympic Gold Medals, Vezina Trophies and other various individual records, but sooner or later, the karma police will catch up with you. If this was an episode of My Name Is Earl, Brodeur would lose all his money and end up with a bad case of the crabs.

In any event, Bernie will always be considered the best goalie of all time to me and many other Flyers phans. Ok, I'll get off my high horse and get on with my life.

"This Loss Is A Microcosm Of The Past Five Years"

Judging by the callers this evening on 610 WIP, the citizens of our fair city are not a group of happy campers this evening. Generally, the phans seem to realize they are over reacting a bit to today's brutal 5-3 extra inning loss to the Braves, but it is clear that their angst is coming from the fact that they so desperately want the Phils to win and get off to a good start so they get behind a winner. However, due all too familiar mistakes, the Phils once again disappointed the phans. Nobody (and boy, do I mean nobody) knows how to rain on a parade on a parade like our Phils.

The thing that is most maddening to me is that the Phils have the phans in the palms of their hands. How can they not realize that the average Philadelphia Sports Phan is ripe for the taking. If they really want to regain a top spot in the sporting fabric of this city, they MUST take advantage of this opportunity. The Flyers and Sixers aren't going to steal any of their luster this April as their seasons will mercifully end in the next week or two, and the Birds aren't making any spotlight stealing off season maneuvers. This is their time, but the Phils have to stop making the same mistakes that have haunted them on their way to slow starts the last five years.

As for the headline of this blog, it was a comment from a caller this evening to 610. It makes so much sense. How many times have we seen Phils' teams blow late leads, fail to score a runner from third with less than 2 outs, look inept in clutch at bats and totally overmatched in the bullpen??? We've seen all of these happen far too many times since the Phils commenced this era of Above Average Mediocrity. Fortunately - or unfortunately - for us, we saw all of these catastrophic events today. I think that's why the phan base is so up in arms tonight. To make matters worse, we have to wait an extra day before the Phils get back on the field to right the wrongs of today's opener.

Well, at least today, me - and apparently a whole of other people - realized that they are ready for some big time baseball to be played in this city. If the Phils can just keep me interested until Eagles Training Camp, I'll be a happy man. That's all I ask.

PSP's Phils '07 Preview - Ill-advised Leap of Faith?

Another Phils' season is upon us and with it comes hopes and expectations that aren't common in these parts. We usually expect nothing out of our Phils. Personally, I only ask that the Phils keep me interested from the end of the Flyers playoffs until the start of the Eagles' season. Well, this year there are no Flyers' playoffs this Spring, so my focus, as well as the entire Delaware Valley, will be on the Phightins' from Jump Street.

To me, this season seems to be shaping up like the upcoming Sopranos final season. We're all hoping for the best, but deep down we expect an episodes to be wasted on a ridiculous dream sequence and a lot of questions to go unanswered...or in the Phils' case, we fear that a good number of games will be blown by the bullpen and a bunch of losses because our inability to manufacture runs.

Our Phils' have contended for the wild card the last handful of seasons. Over the last two years, they've even come down to the last weekend with a shot to make the postseason before bowing out. So, the question this year is whether the Phils finally did enough to get over the hump???

In order to make such a decision, it's helpful to do a comparison of last year's squad to your 2007 Phightin' Phils:

First Base: 2006 Ryan Howard vs. 2007 Ryan Howard: Obviously, this is a push (although, I don't think it is possible for the Big Man to be as outstanding as last year.)

Second Base: 2006 Chase Utley vs. 2007 Chase Utley: Again a push. Chase and the Big Man combine to give the Phils the best right side of the infield in the World.

Shortstop: 2006 J Roll vs. 2007 J Roll: Again a push. Sorry I know this isn't real exciting so far. Although, I like the confidence J Roll showed predicting the Phils to win the Division.

Third Base: 2006 David Bells vs. 2007 Wes Helms: David Bell was brutal at the plate last year before he was traded, but at least he made most of the plays hit right at him. Helms will be a huge improvement at the plate, but I think we'll see an awful lot of Babe-raham Nunez from the 7th inning on. Overall, I still give a slight edge to the 2007 Phils.

Catcher: 2006 Mike Lieberthal vs. 2007 Rod Barajas/Carlos Ruiz: Anyone is better than the defensive liability that was Lieby. The guy was a loser. The pitchers hated throwing to him. I think we'll be much better off this year even if the catchers don't contribute as much offensively.
Left Field: 2006 Pat Burrell/David Dellucci/Jeff Conine vs. 2007 Pat Burrell: Without any real alternatives on the bench to everyone's favorite whipping boy, there is no way this team is better in left field. Big Edge to the 2006 Phils

Centerfield: 2006 Aaron Rowand vs. 2007 Aaron Rowand: This is a real shaky push. It remains to be seen how much Rowand lost as a result of his injuries last year.

Right Field: 2006 Bobby Abreu vs. 2007 Shane Victorino: Push...yes, PUSH! Of course, Bobby was a much better offensive player, but he was such a buzz kill to the team. I don't think it was any surprise that this team took off last year after his personality was removed from the equation. I think Victorino will do a lot of the little things to help this team win.

Bullpen - 2006 Flash, Arthur Rhodes, Cormier vs. 2007 Flash, Madson, Six Finger Alfonseca - The fact that Flash is a year older means this group is not as good as last year. I'll give the 2007 Phils a slight disadvantage. However, we all expect Pat Gillick to make a trade somewhere along the line to upgrade this group.

Starting Pitching: 2006 Myers, Lieber, Madson, Lidle and Hamels vs. 2007 Myers, Moyer, Hamels, Garcia and Eaton: Major edge to the 2007 Phils. Last year, the starting pitching was brutal until about August. This is the biggest upgrade on the team.

Coaching: 2006 Cholly and no real bench coach vs. 2007 Cholly, Jimy Williams and Davey Lopes: Right behind starting pitching, this is the next biggest advantage for the 2007 Phils. I sure hope the new bench coaches put their stamp on the team and keep Cholly from blowing a couple of games a month.

Bench: 2006 David Dellucci and a bunch of turds vs. Some Guy Named Jason Werth and an interchangeable group of Turds: The 2006 Phils get the edge here unless Werth overcomes his past injury problems to become a major surprise.

When all is said and done, the 2007 Phils are the winners by a score of 4-3-5. Yes, as Nick Backay once said, things are much easier when you break them down scientifically.

Ok, we've established this team is better, but is it good enough to finally give us some October baseball? I think this team can contend for the Wild Card, but I don't see us winning the division. However, I don't think we'll be losing out to the team everyone is predicting. I see the Mets taking a step back. I hate their starter pitching and I believe some of their guys will take a step back. I like the Braves to win the NL East.

I agree with the local media pundits that if this team can stay away from their annual April swoon, then their chances to make the playoffs improve a great deal. However, their miserable Exhibition Season is not giving me the warm and fuzzies about the possibilities of them jumping out to a hot start. Although, I do see them going at least .500 and then turning things up a notch as the weather gets warmer here in Philly. Plus, I really believe we will get a bullpen arm come hell or high water. I just hope it's sooner than later because the Phils' motley crew of a bullpen desperately needs an infusion of talent.

Ok guys, this is a leap of faith and I know I will wind up being burned by it, but I'm picking our Phightins' to win 91 games and clinch their first postseason berth since '93.

You Stay Classy, Pat The Bat

After going yard off Dice K yesterday, I was starting to wonder if Pat "The Bat" Burrell was starting to turn things around. Maybe he'd show a new attitude this year. Then I caught wind of this picture.

I'm happy to see that even with a new season upon us, Pat is still a prick. On the bright side, at least he's not flipping of a phan and Lord knows, we'd all like to give Tito Francona the Finger.

(By the way, Deadspin reports this Bird is in response to some good natured ribbing from former manager, Tito Francona.)

Interesting Theory On The Philly Sports Curse

My dad sent me this article from a Comcast.net Sports Forum, which makes an intriguing argument towards blaming the immortal Ivan DeJesus for the years and years of losing we've experienced over the past 24 years. I think it's a stretch to blame a roll player like DeJesus for the magnitude of ineptitude that we've been forced to live through, but like I said, it's an intriguing theory:

The Curse of the Bambino…the Curse of the Billy Goat...the Sports Illustrated Curse. These hexes are known and accepted in sports lore. And yet, when I bring up Philadelphia’s sports curse, I am always scoffed down and shooed away by sports’ elite. But I was born and raised in Philly, and I’m here to tell you…the curse is real.

Not only is it real, it is much worse than its more famous siblings.

We have all heard Chicago and Boston fans wax poetic about the divine intervention that has impeded their happiness (thankfully, after 2004, we no longer have to hear from Red Sox fans). The incessant whining about their hapless baseball teams got incredibly tiring, especially to the poor people of Philadelphia. Because as far as sob stories go, Philadelphia has top bragging rights.

Look at the facts.

In Philly’s 23-year span of incompetence, Boston has celebrated seven championships (three from the Celtics, three from the Pats and one from the Sawx) and Chicago has brought home eight (one from da Bears, six from Michael Jordan and one from the ChiSox).

Even if you take the success of Boston’s and Chicago’s other sports teams out of the equation, Philly still has the Bambino and the Billy Goat beat. Babe Ruth’s curse lasted 86 seasons; Billy Goat’s hex, just 62. But the curse afflicting Philadelphia has been breaking the hearts of the "Boo Birds” for 94 seasons (I’d say it’s safe to include this year’s Sixers and Flyers).

So why does the ineptitude of the Red Sox and Cubs out-headline Philly’s four-sport woefulness? Simple. No national voice has laid out the curse that afflicts Philadelphia fans. I will use this space as an opportunity to do so.

First, let me say that I have researched this for years in vain. Many Philly folks thought they found it with the "Curse of Billy Penn" (hogwash about building skyscrapers taller than Philly’s William Penn statue that stands atop City Hall). But the timing is way off.

The first skyscraper taller than Penn's top hat wasn’t built until 1987. Philly has been cursed since October of ‘83. A curse beginning in ‘87 doesn’t account for the tragic death of Pelle Lindbergh, it doesn’t account for the Phils’ collapse in the ’83 World Series, and it doesn’t explain why the dominating ’83 Sixers fell off the map. No, the "Curse of Billy Penn" doesn’t fit.

So I kept looking. I searched through the annals of Eagles' ticket stubs to see if Birdman's pet mongoose was ever denied entrance. No dice. I scoured through the Sixers' accounting archives for evidence that they sold the rights to Wilt Chamberlain for $20 and the 10,000 phone numbers in his little black book. Nope.

I was just about to give up, when I found it. The turning point in Philly fortunes, the ultimate curse that foiled Philly's providence from that day after; the apogee (or should I say nadir) of sports curses that does indeed belong to Philadelphia.

From this day forward, it shall be known as:

THE CURSE OF IVAN DeJESUS

I know what you’re thinking. Who the heck is Ivan DeJesus?

Allow me to explain.

Everything was peaches for Philadelphia in the early '80s. A young Dick Vermeil took his team to the Super Bowl. The '83 NBA Champion 76ers were bucking up for a decade-long run behind Dr. J, Moses, Mo Cheeks and Andrew Toney. The Flyers had some great talent including Lindbergh, a Hall of Fame lock at goaltender. And the Phils had won the World Series in '80 and entered the '83 Series looking for another.

Times were good. Philadelphia was sailing higher than Bobby Brown (who had the money back then).

But a new wind was about to blow. (You must recite this line out loud using your best “movie announcer guy" voice).

In the ’83 Fall Classic, the Phils split the first two games at Baltimore, and came home to the state-of-the-art Vet for three games in front of a raucous crowd. Game 3 saw Philly jump out to a lead behind Steve Carlton, who was pitching a gem. But then came the seventh inning. Dan Ford hit a weak grounder to short. Our anti-hero, Ivan Dejesus, booted it. Benny Ayala crossed the plate with the winning run. And the Phillies’ fate (as well as Philly's fate) was sealed. The Phils would not win another game in that World Series.

Philadelphia's four professional sports teams have been shut out ever since.

But Russakoff, one error does not a curse make. After all, it wasn’t called the "Bill Buckner Curse."

Very true young Padawan, but let’s delve deeper. Ask me how Ivan DeJesus wound up on the Phillies in the first place. Go on, ask me. Never mind, I'll just tell you.

The Phillies, feeling Larry Bowa was too washed up to play shortstop for a championship team, traded for DeJesus, a supposed upgrade at the position. The only catch: the Phils had to throw in an untested, unheralded minor-league prospect.
Ryne Sandberg.

That's right; Ivan was on the wrong side of the Ryne Sandberg trade--the worst trade in Philadelphia history. (Some would say the Charles Barkley trade for Jeff Hornacek, Tim Perry and Andrew Lang was worse, but at least Philly enjoyed eight years with Barkley.)

The Phils gave away Sandberg, possibly the best second baseman of all time (unless Chase Utley can keep putting up these numbers), before he could even put on that sweet baby-blue retro uniform.

Still not convinced Ivan DeJesus is evil? Get a load of this: Cubs catcher Jody Davis had the final say on Ivan Dejesus’ baseball ethics, accusing him of refusing to tag out Latino players when they attempted to steal second base. This DeJesus character put his friendship with other players above winning. And you think a player like that is above laying down the ultimate curse upon a city?

Add together Dejesus’ error in ’83, his swap for Bowa and Sandberg and his unethical behavior in the infield, and you have the holy trinity of curses, the Bermuda Triangle of hexes, the mother of all kyboshes..."The Curse of Ivan DeJesus"!

How else can you explain the tragic deaths of potential superstar players like Lindbergh and Jerome Brown? Or Phillies' third base DEFENSIVE replacement, Kim Batiste, making error after error in the '93 playoffs? Or Scott Stevens virtually ending Eric Lindros' career with a vicious open-ice hit in the '00 Eastern Conference finals?

Oh, the dubious list doesn't end there…

What about Larry Brown leaving Robert Horry--the best clutch three-point shooter ever--wide open in Game 2 of the '01 NBA finals? Or Terrell Owens breaking his leg in the middle of a season that was tailor-made for an Eagles Super Bowl run? Or, for that matter, Owens' decision to implode a championship-caliber team, just for the fun of it.

Or that hanging slider to Joe Carter…that excruciatingly diabolical hanging slider.

These things do not just continue to happen to an uncursed city. A city with a clean slate has to get one break. One break out of 94. But not Philly. The Big Lebowski character Jesus Quintana said it best, “Nobody messes with DeJesus.”

So, Philadelphia fans boosted by Jimmy Rollins' boasts that the Phillies are the team to beat this season, or looking at Takeo Spikes as the final piece to the Eagles’ Super Bowl puzzle, or banking on a Sixers top draft pick to land Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, don’t let your hopes get too high.

If history has taught Philadelphians anything, it’s that good things just don't happen anymore to Philadelphia sports. Ivan Dejesus made sure of that.

Our Philadelphia Sporting Lives In 5 minutes 13 seconds

Sent in by my buddy, Andy G:



Wow, this guys does an excellent job. I like how it wasn't all negative although Lord knows there are enough bad moments to fill the 5 minutes 13 seconds.