Thursday, August 07, 2008

I Love Them, But I'm Not IN Love With Them


Normally, I break up with the Phillies about 5 times a season. Today, I decided that we are going on a break. Here's the message I've left with them:


Dear Phillies,


I think we need to see other people. They totally annoy me. All of their little idiosyncrasies are totally pissing me off. I just need some Tony time. Maybe we can be friends during this break, but it will probably be best if we go some time without seeing each other and then trying a fresh start in about two weeks.


Seriously, I can no longer take their failure to support the staff ace. I hate their dependence on the home rum. I really can't stand their inability to beat the Mets and Marlins this year.


Ok, I've said enough. It's time to hit the stripper bar and find PSP a new girl friend.


Love,
PSP

3 comments:

George said...

People have to realize that this offense is not as good as they think it is. The games that the Phillies lose are not 9-8 slugfests. They lose games because the offense routinely puts up 0,1,2, or 3 runs. The offense will break out for a few days and go on a tear that makes their overall stats appear good. Then they will return to being shut out again and continue to repeat this cycle. The home run dependence is very obvious and it has been a problem for years.

sbotts said...

CLASSIC...

You hit it right on the head!!

They'll 8 or 10 on the Pitt tonight, and make it seem like they are the GOLD STANDARD!

Question can the Eagles just trade Lito already for a WR (maybe Steve Smith or Aqulin Boldin)?

Dan Maiese said...

At least you didn't give them the George Costanza "It's not you, it's me" routine in your breakup letter.

It's definitely them.

This team is one of the most frustrating I've ever followed.

Here's to anotehr 88 win season.