In Case You Needed A Reminder....

South Park is the funniest cartoon OF ALL TIME! I know tonight was a re-run, but I'm still laughing over the Cartman as Dog the Hall Monitor. Way too funny.

"If there is a hallway infraction going on, you're going to have to deal with the Dog!"

"You just dealt with the Dog, bitch!"

I Love This Guy

The Loose Cannon of the Phillies organization was unleashed the other day and boy, he did not disappoint. For those of you that missed today's Inquirer, Dallas Green had the following to say about everyone's favorite playboy/eternally slumping left fielder, Pat Burrell:

"It's time for Pat to look in the mirror," Green, an adviser to general manager Pat Gillick, said in the lobby of Disney's Swan and Dolphin Resort yesterday. "His career is really at a crossroads.

"He's got to focus and get a priority. That's No. 1 on the list. He's got to become a baseball player and want to be a contributor and want to be the Pat Burrell that we all anticipated he was going to be when we signed him as a kid. He's 30 years old. Damn, time is slipping by here."

"I think Pat's going to have a hell of a year [in 2007]," Green said. "But it's up to him. He has to recognize where his career is. I like the kid an awful lot. I always have. I talk to him all the time. I tell him, 'You've got to get your act together and know what your priorities are.' "

"I've been out with him a couple times in Florida. We have a secret [watering] hole every now and then.

"There's nothing wrong with that. There are tons of guys in the Hall of Fame that were like that.

"It's neat to have money, it's neat to have good looks, and it's neat to have broads all over you. Every place I've managed, I've talked to kids about the same thing. It's a hell of a life. But there comes a time in every player's life when he needs to get his act together."

As I've said previously, I can't fault a guy for going out to a downtown bar, having a few drinks, bringing a couple of broads home, banging them and then sending them home without cab fare or even free tickets to the next home stand, but I draw the line when said activities begin to interfere with the fortunes of my team. I applaud Dallas Green for calling Pat "the Bat" out on his lifestyle. However, if the Phils did have any chance of trading Burrell to a team that didn't know about his lifestyle, those chances just flew out the window thanks to Dallas' rant.

In any event, I love Dallas Green for giving it to us straight. It's about time someone did! He's one of the few people in this entire city that does and the Phils sure do their best to keep him away from the microphones. We need to hear more from this guy. He needs his own talk show.

I just wish we had someone in the Eagles organization that ran his mouth like this. It would make this whacky season even more interesting. Although, I think Joe Banner would use the Force to crush offending speaker's larnyx before he could get out anything which could construed as being critical of the family.

The Real Deal or Delaying the Inevitable?

Well, I think you know how I fall on this question, but I would be lying if I didn't admit I took great satisfaction with how the team played tonight in the Birds' 27-24 victory over the Panthers. While the defense continues to show that they are not nearly good enough, Jeff Garcia and the rest of the offense looked like an acceptable NFL offense. They even brought the big play back into the offense. If the offense continues to play this way, the Birds should win next week before heading to the Meadowlands and then Dallas. If the Birds take care of business in D.C., then maybe I will reluctantly get on the playoff bandwagon. In any event, it's nice to finally talk about a win again.

I have to give props to Donte Stallworth....Why haven't we resigned this guy yet? Don't understand this at all...and Reggie Brown. Their big plays were huge keys in this one.

Jon Runyan held Julius Peppers sackless....not a small accomplishment.

Shawn Andrews is losing a ton of weight...I need his dietitian.

Of course, the Lito interception was huge and I bet you it gets him back in the Pro Bowl.

By the way, I'm so done with the whole Philly/Rocky connection. I can't wait until this movie opens, flops and then we can go on with our lives. Also, is it me or does Stallone look like an actual boxer that has taken too many punches?

Also, I'm kind of glad of how the fans always make their way somehow into the game story. I thought the cheering for A.J. was a little unjustified. I think people forget that A.J. didn't do a whole lot except play the Trent Dilfer role when he helped the 2002 team reach the playoffs.

The ESPN broadcast crew is flat out BRUTAL. Although, I did get a laugh when Mike Tirico combined the Panthers running backs into one person: DeShaun Williams.

PSP's EAGLES PREDICTION

Don't ask me why or how, but I think the Birds win tonight, 21-17. I just don't want them to....I know....that is blasphemy to root against the Birds, but all winning this game will do is give us all false hope of sneaking into the playoffs when we all know the truth about this team: They simply aren't good enough.

I know the "everytime I think I'm out, they pull me back IN!" jokes will go through the roof should they win. So, in order to be the leader in the clubhouse, I wanted to be the first to put it out there.

I didn't think it was possible.....

But I brought the Philly Curse across the damn river and screwed over the Rutgers Scarlet Knights in their 3 OT loss against those in bred f*&ks from West Virginia.

This is the worst loss I've suffered since the Tampa Bay loss in the last game at the Vet. Although, at least Rutgers showed up in this big game....these friggin teams from Philly don't even show up and put up a fight in many big games they lose.

Yes, I'm bitter beyond belief. I can't even think straight....It could be the booze, but I'd rather believe it is the fact that every God Damned team I take an interest in falls short.

BTW, I kind of like the G Men tomorrow, so make sure to load up with your bookie w/ the 'Boys because obviously anyone I show any interest in falls way short. Life blows. I need a new hobby. Maybe I should take up hand ball or crocheting.

Wholesale Changes Needed

I haven’t written much about the Birds this week as there isn’t much left to say. The media has covered all the angles: the defense is too small and doesn’t tackle well; the draft picks haven’t panned out; Andy Reid the GM is killing Andy Reid the coach; the team has quit on Reid.

Seriously, there ain’t much for me to say on this topic that hasn’t been beat into the ground this week on 610 and the papers. However, I think it is pretty clear that this team needs a new vision and leadership. Although none of this will ever happen, the Birds need to clear house with front office, players – save a few, coaches, etc. and start over. The Banner/Reid/McNabb era was great while it lasted, but their philosophy of paying one or two stars and filling in the rest of the roster with adequate well coached players signed to below market deals is simply failing them and not fitted to today’s NFL.

I just can’t get excited any longer about the process this team takes in putting together their team and competing week to week. Big changes have to be made. I’d start with Banner and his “capology” philosophy. Banner’s authority over controlling salaries has to be scaled back. He’s doing nothing but creating animosity throughout the team and preventing the team from retaining players who have the audacity of wanting to paid on the same level of comparable players on other teams.

Also, Reid’s role in player evaluation has to be taken from him because he simply cannot identify supremely talented players, let alone above average starters. This team’s philosophy is to live and die through the draft, but you can’t do that if you keep missing on high picks. As for his head coaching role, I’d give Reid one more year to turn things around, but only if he agrees to fire JJ and bring in a defensive coordinator who is an expert in either the 3-4 schemes used by the Parcells/Bellichick disciples or the 4-3 Cover Two defenses employed by the Bears, Broncos, and Colts of the world. Clearly, the last two years have demonstrated that the NFL has caught on to how to beat JJ’s blitz packages. Then, if the team still disappoints next year, it’s time to cut the cord with Big Red.

Hand in hand with stripping Reid’s personnel duties, a legitimate GM needs to be located and given absolute control over the roster. I would really like to see someone like A.J. Smith of San Diego given the job here. Who knows, maybe Heckert could be that guy if Reid is removed from the equation…that’s only if he didn’t ok the Matt McCoy selection. If he did, it’s time to pack his bags.

As for the players, I’m fine with McNabb as the QB and the offensive line, but the rest of the team needs a major talent infusion. I think that is pretty evident to most honest observers.

Wow….I had no idea I would go on for that long….I suppose this team does have a lot of issues!

Random Thoughts As We Head Into the Weekend

Missing Person Alert: Pat Gillick – Where is our G.M.? Seriously, where is the guy? All the major free agents have been plucked from the market and all we have to show for the yearly Fall shopping spree is journeyman Wes Helms, the injury prone Adam Eaton and maybe Joe Borowski, if our front office can convince themselves that they can get at least 20 appearances out of him before he tears his labrum.

These signings are akin to when you were kid and received a Christmas Card with no money inside. After opening the card and making this shocking discovery, I would always be left thinking….”Really, is this all there is? Surely, there must be something more to this gift, right???” Come on, Gillick! Is this all you have planned to improve a team that fell 2 games out of a playoff spot last year and has holes bigger than the ones Joseph Addai ran through against Eagles defense Sunday night. You must have something up your sleeve…right? Please tell me you do!

Anyhow, just to be safe, I think we should check the local nursing homes and intensive care units. Maybe our Senior Citizen GM has fallen ill or something.

In any event, I last put out an A.P.B. on a Philly GM this summer when Clarkie slept through the summer free agent frenzy. We all know what happened there. I hope we don’t have another burnout victim here as the Phils could be blowing a golden opportunity to steal this city while the Birds muddle their way through another losing season.

Although, I think I might be setting my sites a bit too high. As my buddy Jorge told me:

The Phillies will never win in any situations where there is more than one team interested in a player. Other teams always make better offers than the Phillies. In the case of Helms and Eaton, I don’t think there was any other strong interest.

You know what? Jorge is right. Why I fooled myself into thinking any different with this front office’s history was down right stupid.

The Army Navy Game – I know most people here could give a crap, but I really love the fact that this game is played in our backyard. I love the pageantry and tradition of this game and would hate to see it leave. It’s like Philly’s own Bowl Game. I wish more people embraced it here in the city. I guess most people have a hard time getting up for mediocre football…unless it’s being played by our beloved Birds.

Rutgers – West Virginia – Rutgers is playing for a BCS Bowl Game…Repeat…Rutgers is playing for a FREAKIN’ BCS Bowl Game!!!! I’m still having a hard time wrapping my mind around this concept as I still have memories of scores upon scores of blowouts over the past 10 years, but it appears those days are over as my Scarlet Knights are heading down to Morgantown West Virginia to play the #15 ranked Moutaineers. If they win, they clinch their first ever Big East Championship!

I have yet to hear a single member of the media pick the Scarlet Knights, who happen to be a 10 point dogs and have never in their 137 years of playing organized football beaten WVU in Morgantown. I kind of like the disrespect. I’m sure Schiano is using that to get Rutgers psyched up. Over the past 4 years, RU has gotten closer and closer to actually playing on a level playing field with these guys. I think this is the year that RU kicks in the door and pulls the upset.

I see the Knights controlling the line of scrimmage on offense and their newly found passing game opening things up a little more for Ray Rice. On defense, the Knights are lucky that Mountaineer QB Pat White is hobbling on a bad ankle because that helps their efforts tremendously. Frankly, White and RB Steve Slaton scare the absolute sh*t out of me, but I think we’ll get enough stops to win the game. I see a 30 to 27 historic victory for the Knights. If this happens, you won’t hear from me over New Year’s because I’ll be in Miami for the Orange Bowl!!!

Flyers vs. Devils – Yes, it looks like the Flyers are turning a corner. Yes, they may have ridded themselves of their worst player…BUT, can they beat their long time nemesis? I say not a chance, but I still feel good about how the O&B are playing all the sudden.

Dexter – I know…..I’m probably the only person that reads this site that has Showtime, but I can’t wait to see this week’s episode. Judging from the previews, it should be fantastic! The Ice Truck Killer looks to have struck again! Watching a great show like this is a wonderful way to end the weekend.

Have a good weekend everyone

Turtle the Prognosticator

In case anyone cares, Turtle (aka Jerry Ferrara) of HBO's Entourage picked the Panthers to roll the Birds on Monday night while on ESPN Radio's Sports Bash tonight.

Seriously, who gives a crap about Turtle's opinion on the Eagles/Panthers game? I'm pretty sure we'd all rather know what Johnny Drama thinks. I don't know about you guys, but I'd feel much more confident about the Birds' chances to pull an upset if I knew Johnny Drama was on our side.

(Actually, I still don't really give a sh*t about this game. I'm desperately trying to find things to get me the least bit interested. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.)

The Best News We've Received In Weeks!!!

The most incompetent athlete in the city is considering retirement and ridding our team of a exorbitant, stifling contract...Sorry, I'm not talking about Pat Burrell, it's none other than the human pylon, Mike Rathje of your Philadelphia Flyers! I just read the following on Hockeybuzz.com:

Mike Rathje's reaction tonight here on Long Island:

“I'm always in pain, especially during the games. It’s obvious that I m not plying where I should be and its affecting me, the team and my family. It’s something I can’t really hide from."

Has retirement crossed your mind?

“Yes it has for the last year. This whole scenario of me playing injured all the time and taking medication all the time to play. It runs through my m ind and I am at the point you can only take drugs so long to play hockey.".

**

The Flyers will likely discuss placing Mike Rathje on long term injury tomorrow at their practice facility.

Rathje has been bothered by back and hip problems for two years now and has considerable pain in his sciatic nerve, running through his back, leg and buttocks on the right side.


Flyers general manager Paul Holmgren said last night he would speak to Rathje today because the club is running out of options.

“It’s no secret that Mike is pretty beat up,” Holmgren said. “We need some plan to deal with this. He has things going on with his back. We need to find a plan. And we need to find out what is going on.”

As bad as Rathje has played this season, I truly believe his total lack of mobility is related to this on-going injury which the FLyers either didn't know about when they signed him two summers ago or simply felt they could manage.

I think this is the first step to getting Rathje's $3.5 million salary off the cap this year and for the next 3 years left on his deal. The Flyers have a strong case since he was in pain all last season even though he missed just 3 games back then.

Should Rathje retire?

"You have to ask Mike about that," Holmgren told me. "You talk to him and right now he is down in the dumps. He is really depressed about this. He’s a hockey player and he wants to play.”

One target goes down, but can we be so lucky to see Burrell follow him out the door? I doubt it, but you never know. Maybe Gillick can work some magic.

Turning a Corner?

I was at the Flyers 3-2 loss to the Preds tonight. I'm not going to say that all their problems are cured, but they sure do look like a legit NHL team. I saw tape to tape passes, decent scoring chances and excellent goal tending. If they could only find someone to kidnap Mike Rathje, they might go on a run and win some games. Until then, expect gift goals like the one Rathje gave up tonight to hand the game to Nashville.

By the way, thanks to the good people at GMAC Re for taking me to the game tonight! I had a fabulous time.

Changing Teams?

(Of course this item has nothing to do with Philly sports, but look at the alternatives. I could post about how I'm neither excited nor turned off by the Adam Eaton signing. I'm indifferent. Or, I could continue to rip the Birds. I figure I can take a day off from that pursuit. The Flyers are actually playing better, but I'm not expecting that to last. I will be at tomorrow night's game though to if the O&B have made any real progress. As for the Sixers, you all know I no longer care about this franchise. Although, I did hear that AI is leading the league in scoring once again....yawn.)

It's not every day that you receive news that a friend has changed teams. However, I'm here to share a recent surprising revelation from a big sports fan's change in allegiance from one team to another. (Don't worry...names will be withheld to protect the guilty.)

As you may expect, this information was not shared willingly. My buddy was forced to come out of the closet, so to speak, with his team change by a friend. I have to admit his reasoning for his switch was a bit shaky. He explained that he decided to switch allegiances because the star player of his former team scored a goal which eliminated his country's national team in an international tournament. Frankly, I was flabbergasted by this explanation.

Did I decide to switch NHL teams when Flyers goalie Antero Niittymaki backstopped Finland to a win over the US Olympic team and knocked them out of the tournament? Hell no! After decades of following the Flyers, I'm Orange and Black to the core, my friends. But using my buddy's line of reasoning, I'd be looking for a new NHL team to follow.

I started wondering if there is additional reasoning behind his decision. Has his "old team" fallen on hard times? He roots for other teams that have had their share of rough times. Plus, he lives here in the Philly area and has seen first hand how we live and die with our pathetic teams. So I figured this couldn't be a plausible explanation. However, after a little research, I've learned that his "new" team has become very successful in the last couple years while his "old team", has experienced some hard times of late. This surprised me. As every fan knows, you very simply have to live with your teams through thick and thin. You can't go running into the arms of a hot new team because your old team has grown a few warts.

In any event, I feel it is our duty to convince my friend that this was a horrible decision. I hope this post has opened his eyes. This guy has to realize that everyone in Philly would love to stop rooting for the Birds, Phils, Flyers and Sixers and find successful new teams, but we just can't do it. We don't have the heart. At least for me, these teams have become like family members. I can't picture myself rooting for another team.

If anyone has any other advice for him, please add it to the comments section. I don't think it's too late to convince him that he's made a mistake.

He's Still Running!

There's no truth to the rumor that Joseph Addai is really one of those Kenyan marathoners. Just watching him run, run, and run all night on the Eagles' defense made it seem that way.

At Least Someone Is Still Positive

I'm not sure what the good people at PhiladelphiaEagles.com are smoking, but I think someone should administer them a urine test after emailing the following story under the subject line of "Crunch Time For Eagles:

Despite the extraordinary brilliance of running back Brian Westbrook and some solid quarterback play from Jeff Garcia, the Eagles lost 45-21 on Sunday night in Indianapolis, dropping their record to 5-6. Still, despite the struggles, the Eagles remain in the NFC playoff picture and will ride the veteran leadership and skill of Garcia as they attempt to get back on the winning track. The big question is the team's defense, which has had trouble getting off the field all season. It is an issue on the table in this week's Hot Button. Check out PhiladelphiaEagles.com for the very latest on the team

I needed a pick me up today, and this email sure delivered.

Absolutely Embarrassing

The best part of tonight's 45-21 thumping by the Colts was that I only watched about a quarter of the game. I listened to most of the first half on the radio and then watched the third quarter on my PIP screen as I watched the latest episode of Dexter, which I highly recommend checking out on Showtime.

The defensive effort was as embarrassing as some of the early season Flyers games we've suffered through. I'm glad that Jim Johnson's philosophy of drafting undersized linemen and de-emphasizing the linebacker position is finally being exposed. Since there is no way Reid gets fired this offseason, this team needs to dump JJ, hire a new defensive coordinator that realizes stopping the run is important and then bring in about 3 new defensive linemen and a whole new corps of linebackers. By the way, whoever decided to draft Matt McCoy and believed he'd be a starting NFL outside linebacker, needs to be fired tomorrow.

If I remember correctly, McCoy was the only guy who was not invited to the Scouting Combine to get drafted on the first day of the 2005 draft. This move personifies my distaste for the Birds' front office. They continually think they know more than everyone else by taking risks on players that no one else values as highly as they do. It frustrates me to no end.

By the way, the offense is fine with Garcia at the helm. If the defense was above average, we'd probably go .500 the rest of the way, but since we saw tonight how pathetic they truly are, I don't expect this team to win more than one more game all season.

Looks like I'm going to have some free Sundays the rest of this fall and winter.

I Give Thanks For....

Since this is the greatest holiday in the world, I wanted to give thanks to some very important people:

-Readers like St. Joe's Nick, Jones, Jorge and Crazy Hayes, Jeff Peacock, The Irish National/Biggest Irish Jets Fan in Pine Hillbilly Ville, Tony G., Johnny Gold, The Capt, The Cleveland Steamer, Gump Bove, Biggsy McSmalls, O Hick, My At Work Wives I and II, and last but surely not least "The Wife".

- My dad and step mom, as well as all my family and friends

- My in laws. I got pretty lucky in this category.

- Deadspin.com

- Fantasy Football, and my co owner, Vinny T. You are the man, but I'm 100% sure you'll never look at this site

- My neighbors, Andy G and Aran

- The Sports Guy

- Miller Lite

- Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Cole Hamels

- Donovan McNabb.....when healty

- Jessica Biel

- Scarlett Johanssen

- the NHL

- Sami Kapanen....you don't score, but you show effort night in and night out

- Matt Kenseth

- Rutgers Football - Their rise to prominence this season has made me so damn happy this year

- The Birds, The Phils, The Orange and Black and your 1-2-3-4-5-Sixers!

- Brian Dawkins...when he's not playing like he did last week

- A.I....when not playing like a ball hog

- Billy King....Yeah right, just checking to see if you're still reading. Other than John Street, he is the most incompetent person at his job in this city.

- Business Person Specials....can't think of anything better than watching the game in the afternoon sun and drinking beer

Have a good one everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!

Bloggers Gone Wild

I don't want to send all seven of my readers away to other sites, but if you are looking for some other sports blogs to check out, here are a couple of sites I enjoy.

Kissing Suzy Kolber

This guy appears to be a 'Skins fan, but he is the most irreverent sports writer I've come across on the net. He's also one of the funniest. He even had the balls to take on the Genius that is Bill Simmons (aka "The Sports Guy"). I highly recommend this guy. Anyhow, here's a taste of what his site about as he comments about our Birds:

Donovan McNabb
Status: Torn ACL, Out For Year
This will be the third regular season that McNabb has failed to finish in his career. Making matters worse is the fact that the Eagles have a penchant for picking up backup QBs based upon their knowledge of the West Coast offense, and not based upon whether or not they blow. Hence, the 2006 Eagles are the new 2005 Eagles. Yay! Now you Eagle fans get to spend the rest of the season with the fabulous Jeff Garcia at the helm. Garcia has already suggested new fonts and paper stock sizes for the Eagles' playbook. He's also thinking a sort of creamy butter interior for the team's indoor practice facility. That will soften the harshness of the Eagles' future offensive performances.

Oh, and a note to one Andy Reid: Do you think that perhaps throwing the ball 9,000 times a game puts your QB at greater risk than is necessary? Here's an ingenious idea for you, you stupid mustachioed fat tub of shit: RUN THE BALL.

Oh, and all of the Eagles' skill position players have now been rendered useless. Thanks for playing.

Deadspin

Forget ESPN.com. If you are looking for sports news with a funny slant, here's the place to go. I got a kick out of this comment today:

As the holidays draw ever closer, it's time for us to address the serious issues; such as what should we get Barbaro for Christmas?

With Leather

I just found this blog recently, but he has won me over with comments like this:

Steve Slaton, who I once beat in a race to that telephone pole, ran wild on Pitt last night and the Mountaineers cruised to victory in the Big Fight in the Backyard. I was sad for Pitt. Not that I like Pitt, but one of my old girlfriends had a snug vintage Pitt Panthers tee shirt that she wore without a bra. So for me, cheering for Pitt is like cheering for tits.

The Sports Guy

Then there is the king, the aforementioned Bill Simmons. I meant to post this funny Sixers related email from his mailbag:

Q: So, one day last week I see Sixers GM Billy King in a restaurant in Philly. I started thinking "Does he deal with ordering food the same way he signs NBA players?" If he ordered the steak, if it's an OK steak but nothing fantastic, does he offer to pay double or triple the market value for it? Maybe there could be a show where Billy King negotiates car prices for people who stand by dumbfounded as he offers $27,000 for a 1987 Toyota Camry with 167,000 miles.
-- Adam, Philadelphia

SG: I had a sarcastic follow-up joke here ... then I remembered that my favorite baseball team just spent $51.1 million for the right to negotiate a free agent contract for a Japanese pitcher who's represented by Scott Boras. I'll shut up now.

I threw this email from the Sports Guy's latest column because I think it is absolutely hysterical. I truly don't understand the Dane Cook phenomenon, but this fella may be on to something:

Q: I'm 99 percent positive that Randolph and Mortimer Duke recently wagered $1 that they could turn the funniest, most successful stand-up comic into a disturbed bum on the street and turn a random unfunny guy off the street into the hottest comic in the land with TV specials and a feature film. How else can you explain the fall of Dave Chappelle and the rise of Dane Cook? It is the only answer. Looking good Dane Cook! Feeling good Dave Chappelle!
--DeVito, Washington

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to share this level of writing with you guys. I fear I have exposed myself for the hack that I truly am!

Some Good News...Finally

In case you live under a rock and only check this site for sports news, I thought I'd pass along that Ryan Howard won the NL MVP. This is great for Ryan and the Phils. I'm not really sure he deserved it as he kind of came of up a bit small the last week of the season, but whatever, this is very welcomed good news.

I just hope the Phils realize that if they want to guy to have similar production next year, they better find a right handed bat to protect him. Plan A (Soriano) is gone and so is Plan B (Sheffield). Is there even a Plan C??? I wouldn't mind seeing the Phils go after Carlos Lee. I read a wire report indicating the Phils have contacted his agent, but Eskin today said the Phils don't like him. He's probably right. I guess we'll get to see another 140+ games of Pat Burrell taking called third strikes and letting balls drop in front of him in left field. I can just feel the excitement, how about you?!?!?!

R.I.P. Dirty Waters

Today is a very sad day for all Eagles phans. Andre Waters is dead at the age of 44. Reports indicate that this was a suicide. What a tragic loss.

Even though he may have grown up in Florida and moved out of the area, we lost one of our own today. He was one of the few guys that have played for our Birds that truly embodied the spirit of this town. He was the Birds' answer to Lenny Dykstra and Bobby Clarke. You know.... the scrappy, hard working guy that would overcome his talent deficiencies to do ANYTHING to win a game.

I know I will remember him as a self made player that turned himself into a fearsome safety that laid the wood to anyone who dared come across his part of the secondary.

Rest in Peace, Andre. Rest in Peace.

24

If you were questioning whether we were living in sports hell here in the Philadelphia area, then the 24 hours between 8 pm Sat and 8 pm Sunday removed any and all doubt whatsoever. By the end of this time period, any hope for any consequential sporting success in the foreseeable future was removed.

Lets recount the horrors:

Saturday, 7:45 to 10:45 - My Rutgers Scarlet Knights fail to show up and get absolutely pounded by Cincinnati killing their Impossible Dream Season, and ruining my chances of hooking up with my buddy Matt, a HUGE Ohio State fan, for some debauchery at the National Championship Game.

10:30 - 1 am - The Flyers get crushed yet again, this time by the San Jose Sharks, 6-1. At this point, the Flyers have become the town ho and everyone is getting their turn. As a huge Flyers phan, this is very upsetting to me. I'm going to have to get the Center Ice package. I can't go the winter without interesting hockey to watch.

10:30 - 1 am - The Sixers blow a lead and lose in OT to the Clippers in L.A. (They've come back to earth in a hurry, huh?) I could care less about the Sixers, but this is just more mounting evidence of how bad a day this was.

Sunday, 1 am - 1 pm - Thankfully, nothing bad happens in Philly sports, but who knows....I'm sure some Philly athlete got arrested, started a bar brawl or impregnated some chick. I wouldn't be shocked if some one of the Big 5 hoops teams had a raging kegger that ended in violence. It's only a matter of time until something comes out in the news.

1 pm - Birds start slow...Titans stuff the ball down our throats, take a 7-0 lead and then D Mac throws a horrible interception in the end zone.

2 pm - The Birds' first series of the 2nd quarter results in no points, but one torn ACL to our most indispensable player. Thanks for coming out folks, but the season is over! Don't forget your parting gift of Jeff Garcia and A.J. Feeley for the next 6 games! Eagles Football...Feel the Excitement!

4:30 pm - Finally, the Titans put the Birds out of their misery as they lose 31-13 in a pathetic, horrible, disgusting, boring display of football.

5 pm - We learn that the Phils' main target in free agency, Alfonso Soriano, spurns us to sign with the Cubs for an amount slightly lower than the GDP of most Third World Countries. (As a result, get ready for Ryan Howard to see about 17 pitches to hit all next year.)

7:30 pm - The Cowboys knock off the previously unbeaten Colts. To make matters worse, me and Johnny Gold are at our buddy Mister Nascar's place, who also happens to be a huge Cowboys fan. We have the distinct pleasure of watching him jump around with the glee of one of those spoiled teenagers on MTV's "Super Sweet Sixteen". We then leave his house with our tail between our legs cursing him under our breath. What a fitting end to these 24 hours.


All in all, I think these 24 hours we all suffered through rivals anything Jack Bauer has experienced in the last 5 five years.

PSP's Eagles Prediction

In the Andy Reid era, the team has never really gotten up to play AFC games. They either play uninspired football and lose, or barely hold on for the victory. Rarely do you see a clear cut win when they play an interconference opponent.

I don't see this pattern being broken today, but I see the latter scenario occuring. I think the Birds trot out another maddening performance, but hold on for a 17-16 win.

It doesn't take a genius, but a key to winning this game will be stopping the guy pictured above. I think it can be done. Although, Vince Young is starting to show himself as having more moxie throwing the ball than Michael Vick, which is what I suspected since I always though he was more comparable to Randall than Michael Vick.

As for the Birds, I think B West and LJ will be the keys on offense today.

Go Birds.