"Stupid Is, As Stupid Does"

It finally came to me….The Phillies and Cholly Manuel personify the above line from Forrest Gump.

Last night’s base running blunder by Michael Bourn was the final straw for me. It is clear that Cholly is dumb as a stump and his team constantly follows in his footsteps.

I don’t know about you, but if I ran a business and one of my managers kept making mental error after mental error and his staff started doing the same, I’d get rid of the manager. He’s the root of all evils here. If we just brought in a guy that could tie his shoes and chew gum at the same time, I guarantee you that this group would be over .500.

Pfffffttttt!

Yup, that's the sound of our Phils after another late inning rally came up short and they wound up getting swept by the D Backs. What a way to follow up a rare sweep of the Braves, then to meekly drop three to the D Backs. Gotta love the sustained intensity of this group of Phils, huh?

Are the Phils setting themselves up for another June swoon? It sure seems that way. This season is already shaping up to be pretty similar to the last four years or so. Brutal start, hot May, and June slump. Take a look at this article in today's Inky. If you haven't already written off the Phils, this article will help you down that road.

The next month will tell.

If the Punxsutawney Phils are still reliving the same season over and over, as you might suspect, then they are due for their annual June plummet.

If this is the year they finally wake up on the day after Groundhog Day, they'll continue the steady rise toward a respectable record and a chance at the National League wild card.

The next month . . .

If you're having trouble being optimistic, well, that's understandable. It is truly stunning how consistent this team has been the last few years in spite of major changes. New general manager, new manager, new star first baseman, new starting rotation, a series of closers - same season, over and over.

Slow start. May surge. June plummet. Trade deadline ennui. August and September rally. Wild-card near-miss.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

This article pretty much lays out what we can expect this season. I don't know about you, but it's pretty hard to get excited about a season when you already know the ending of the story. I feel like I've just found spoilers for the ending of the Sopranos series.

Anyhow, I'm just tired of our Phils killing their phans more slowly and softly than any other team I've ever followed. It is really uncanny.

These Phans Look Awfully Familiar

Sure, it is a different sport and another country altogether, but the behavior of these phans looks strangely familiar....hmmmmm. I wonder where I've seen such behavior before.

You guessed, it...the good ol' Birds' phans. It's just funny to me how similar we can be to the English "football" fans.

In any event, this video is flat out hysterical. What I wouldn't pay to see John Clayton receive similar treatment down at the Linc.

Calling Him A Big Boy Is A Humongous Understatement

I just came across the following article from Dave Spadaro about Eagles' second year offensive guard Max Jean Gilles. The next couple paragraphs describing Gilles' girth are simply amazing. No human being should be this large. Check this out:

Jean-Gilles has dropped 15 pounds in the off-season, and is down to 355 pounds. He has another 10 lll-bees to go, he says.

Jean-Gilles has taken care of himself in the off-season. He has stepped up his cardio and has lost weight, dropped body fat (he is around 25 percent) and has greatly improved his conditioning.

You have to be kidding me? This dude weighs 355 lbs and he only has 25% body fat? That is simply incredible. I thought even football players that reach the 355 lb mark had to be fat slobs. I suppose I was wrong. Gilles is a physical specimen indeed.

In any event, the Birds have to find a way to get this guy on the field. Can you imagine our running game with him lined up at guard next to Jamaal Jackson and Shawn Andrews? These guys would just run over people.

If only Big Red would fully commit to the running game....

"M" Is For "Maturing"

Today, I will no longer be part of the highly sought after 18 to 34 male demographic. I am turning 35 and I realize that I can no longer watch MTV or play video games without feeling slightly immature. Yup, from now on, it's all golf, Cadillacs, and double malt scotches for me.

Maturity has me within its grips. I have a kid on the way and now look forward to tee times. I'm going to embrace this because Lord knows my thirties have been much better than my mid to late twenties.

Ok, I'll stop boring you with the self reflection. Plus, this guy seems to have already tackled the topic. So, let's get to my favorite past time of bashing the Phils.

The Phils' Version of Dave Spadaro

Check out the lead today in Marcus Hayes' game story:

THEY MIGHT lose, but they never quit. The Phillies came 10 feet short of stealing a win against the Arizona Diamondbacks last night in a 5-4 loss.

Excuse me, but I think I'm going to puke. Christ, why doesn't Marcus just let Wheels, Scott Palmer or Dave Montgomery write his next article.

When did Marcus Hayes become such a schill for this organization? This is the same paper that gives you Bill Conlin whom questions every little thing the Phils do. This story lead is a kick to the nuts to the reputation the Daily News has developed over the years as an objective paper with reporters that aren't afraid to take tough positions or ask the difficult questions.

Or, maybe he is just antagonizing the scores of negative Phillie phans like myself. If he is doing that, I give him credit, but I think he's been swallowed up by the franchise and has become the Phils' Spadaro.

Big Bill Conlin needs to sit this guy and tell him how it should be. We deserve better.

Phils Return Home...Predictably Lose

Christ, you can set your watch to this group of Phils. As soon as they start to gain some momentum, get over .500, and the home crowd can begin to feel some excitement, the Phils drop their first game to the D'Backs upon returning from a road trip.

Yeah, they had a chance to tie the game in the 9th before the useless Rod Barajas flew out to right, but they did not deserve to win the game.

My buddy George pegged this team perfectly. They cannot deal with expectations. The second there is any sort of expectations, they completely under-perform. I think we have a team of mental midgets. Sure, the lack of talent in certain spots helps their lack of performance, but this group really needs to find a way to deal with the pressure of expectations better. Perhaps, this team needs to hire a Shrink.

In any event, I wish I gambled. This would be an easy game to wager on. Based on past history, it is not surprising they lost.

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By the way, our prized offseason addition, Freddy Garcia, is now 1-4 with a 4.59 ERA. We're not getting what we need from him. Would anyone be shocked to see this free agent to be traded? I wouldn't.

Question To The Audience

Do you guys care more about the NBA Playoffs or the Stanley Cup Finals? I get the distinct feeling that most of you guys care about neither. However, I do believe a small number are watching the Stanley Cup Finals.

You can put me the in hockey category by a huge margin. I have little interest in the NBA now that the Suns were eliminated. The NBA is a shadow of its former self. I can't buy into the type of ball everyone outside of the Suns play these days. At least the NHL made an effort to tinker with the sport to make it more entertaining. As a result, the NHL had their top 4 teams in the league make the conference finals.

Will I watch every minute of the Stanley Cup Finals? Not a chance, but it will be on my radar screen to the point that I will know the status of the series. I can't say the same for the conference finals in the NBA. I just had to check ESPN.com to see who is winning each series. I have the feeling most of you guys would say the same.

Anyhow, let me know your thoughts on this issue. Just interested.

A Summer Tradition Re-Newed

It is Memorial Day Friday and my favorite summer pastime is upon us....The Friday Night Par & Bar at Scotland Run!

As you may recall, for the low price of $52, you receive 9 holes of premium golf, and all the cheap light beer and buffet food you can consume! Not too shabby, huh? I do have one concern though. Usually, me and my friends lay a whuppin' on this place when it comes to the beer and food. I sure hope they continue to let the open bar and continue to closing. I will be disappointed if it has changed.

Anyhow, here is the lineup:

5:30 - My father in law (the Big DK) has a group going out in front of us. Thank God they are ahead of us. They take the game seriously. I had no clue when I made my tee time they'd be directly in front of us, but I'm really happy they aren't behind us. They would not be able to handle the shenanigans from my group.

5:40 & 5:50 We can mix and match the players here to maximize our fun, or to put players of similar skill levels together. This is a very dynamic group. We have the following:

Yours truly - I still suck despite the lessons, but I am debuting my new Rutgers' head covers tomorrow...I just pray I don't lose them by the fourth hole. Here's all you need to know about my golf game....I only get about 4 tee shots a round in the air and my first priority once I get on the course is to find the beer cart girl. Let's hope we get a good one this time, boys!

Johnny Gold - Remember what happened to Tiger's four iron at the Masters? There's always the possibility that one of Johnny's clubs could suffer the same fate. As a result, he's always worth the price of admission.

Southwest Johnny (aka One Ten): One Ten beats the ball with his five iron like it owes him money. Unfortunately for Johnny, he doesn't quite have the same success with the rest of his clubs. I suppose the fact that he is missing part of his spine from a prior surgery could play a factor in his problems. Hey...at least he has an excuse!

Shane - The only things uglier than his swing, is my swing and the shorts he wore last summer. While Shane's skill level fits with ours, we are considering moving him to 5:50 to annoy the balls off the Captain and Donny.

The Captain - El Capitan can play, but can be impatient golfing with hackers like me. Do we put him with seasoned pros like Big DK? Do we put him with me, Johnny Gold and One Ten to annoy him to death? Do we put Shane in his group to antagonize him? This is the pivotal decision of the day.

Donny - Donny is the Captain's tag team partner. If you talk to Donny for about 10 minutes (or better yet receive only one email from him), you'll ask yourself if he is Cholly Manuel's illegitimate son. In all seriousness, Donny may be the best golfer I know....Christ, the guy had a damn golf scholarship coming out of high school until he drank himself out of Campbell University. Basically, Donny is a cross between Cholly Manuel and John Daley. This is his maiden voyage to the Par & Bar. I'm glad he can make it.

Jones - Pat can play. Unfortunately for him, he usually gets stuck playing in my group and I think all the waiting around for me to find my ball distracts him. A big positive in Pat's column is that he is not afraid to argue with......

Mister Nascar - At last year's Par & Bar, MNC regaled us with his Buford T. Justice impersonation. In fact, I think he should play the first five holes in character. This would make the whole experience very gratifying. Anyhow, MNC can play also. He is a natural fit to play with Donny and the Captain, but we'll how things play out.

So there you go. A murderer's row, huh? What a way to kick off the summer. I can't wait.

It Appears We Are All In Agreement....

After reading all the comments lately, it seems we all agree on something...We all hate the Phillies.

More specifically, we hate the manager, his goober sounding accent, and his inabililty to adequately make strategic decisions.

We hate the GM, as well as his Hawaiian shirts, his decision to live in Toronto all season, his horrible trades, and head scratching signings.

We hate the owners and their cheapness/cluelessness.

We hate the players and all their inadequacies.

About the only thing we tolerate is the Phanatic and the new ball park even though it is ridiculous that it is built in the middle of warehouse wasteland with nothing else surrounding it.

We hate everything Phillie. So, why my friends, do we still care? Why couldn't the Phils have moved all those years ago and left the Athletics in Philly? Life would have been so much easier.

Does anyone have any ideas? Do we continue to root for these teams and accept that they are losers without any future? Or, do we do something about it? I choose the latter. I'm open for anything from changing my rooting interest to starting a petition to demanding the current ownership group sell the team.

I'm all ears. I'm just tired of investing my time in this franchise and getting nothing out of it. Surely, there are better options in this world.

A New Addition to Johnny Gold's List

My main man, Johnny Gold has a list he likes to call his "P&*#y List". This list is inhabited by the likes of the oft injured like Grant Hill, Ken Griffey, Jr., Terrell Davis and Peter Forsberg or flat out cowards such as Todd Pinkston and Pat Burrell. Tonight, I have a nominee to the list....Rod Barajas.

Sure, the Phils won tonight in extra innings, but they could have won in 9 innings if Barajas showed a little guts and blocked the plate to prevent the tying run from getting under his less than half hearted tag attempt. I've seen Randy Moss look more willing to be hit while running patterns across the middle than Barajas did on that play. Remember that play a couple years ago against the Redskins where Pinkston claimed to lose the ball in the lights? This play was just as bad.

What made this play more embarrassing was that this was not a bang bang sequence where Barajas did not have time to brace himself. To the contrary, Rod caught the ball with plenty of time to set himself, block the plate and apply the tag before the runner reached the plate. Instead, he opened legs wider than Ron Hextall's five hole in the mid 90's, applied a chest high tag and let the tying run slide in. I just wish I could find a picture or You Tube clip to share, but unfortunately I could not locate one.


The Phils should cut him tonight and let Coste play the rest of the year as the backup catcher. I guarantee you Coste wouldn't pull any nonsense like that.

(By the way, kudos to Mitch Williams for calling this guy out in the post game show and saying that he did not want to get hit. The Wild Thing is quickly becoming one of the better announcers in this city.)

To make matters worse, Brett Myers hurt his arm pitching to the next batter after Barajas' gaffe. Only in Philadelphia are brutal mistakes compounded by injuries to integral players (remember Jevon Kearse's season ending knee injury after the numerous mistakes in the Giants game pushed it to O.T.?)

Johnny, let me know if my request to add Barajas to the list is accepted. I think he is fully qualified.

Just Like Every Other Lottery I Ever Played

Boy, you can call me the Mush tonight. (Sorry, after much effort, I couldn't find a picture of the Mush from Bronx Tale or my brother in law, another notorious mush.)

I just about turned on the god damned lottery on ESPN and the guy standing in for David Stern (where the hell was the Commish? Was he afraid of Dan Patrick grilling him again?) pulled the Sixers logo card out of the envelope. Mutha effer!!!!

Oh well, it appears that we are doomed to another decade of basketball purgatory. One day, I'll be able to tell my unborn daughter how Philly was once a basketball crazy town back in the late 70's-early 80's and 2001. Then, she'll probably derisively laugh at me and tell me to eat another doughnut or drink another beer.

The only solace I can take out of this lottery is that the Celts didn't land the first or second pick. Not only would the Celtics become relevant for the first time in years, but Bill Simmons would have been unbearable to read if we had to hear him cackle with glee about Durant and/or Oden on a weekly basis. Sports Guy readers are already forced to read enough about the Sawx and Pats. I don't need any more Boston sports in my life. Philly sports are trying enough.

How You Like Me Now?

Yes, it is only Athlon Sports, but who gives a crap. RU is on the cover and you have to love the headline, the Coach of the Year, and the real life Heisman candidate on the cover. Christ, I'm so giddly I can barely type. While I'm super excited about this year, I'd be lying if I didn't think there was the possibility that pre season expectations could blow up in RU's face like the Hindenburg. You have to excuse me, that's the Philly Phan coming out.

Oh well, there's plenty of time in the future for getting nervous about the upcoming season, but the offseason is all about the hype and RU's off to a great start in that department.

(By the way, I'd love to talk more Philly sports, but the Phils are pulling another interdivision road game el-foldo. Despite their maddening inconsistency, you can count on the Phils playing like crap on the road in division games. Matter of fact, this might be a good gambling strategy.)

Help Needed?

Is anyone having problems posting comments here? I mean, that is if you were interested in actually posting something.

Let me know via email: tonydangelis@comcast.net

Thanks,
Tony

Pitkanen A Goner?

All sports bloggers wish they could call themselves an insider for a major sports team and break story after story. However, as most of you already know, I'm just not that cool. I get my sports news the way the rest of you do....Sports Center, the newspaper, internet, etc.

The closest I've ever come to having any pertinent inside information was when I had a real life NFL Coach living on my block. Some of you may recall that my old neighbor was the Assistant Strength & Conditioning Coach for the Birds, but the only inside news this guy ever gave me was that the Birds were signing Jeff Thomason to replace the injured Chad Lewis in the 2005 Super Bowl. Yes, I realize that such news will not put me on par with Len Pasquarelli or the guys at Profootballtalk.com. Anyhow, after this past weekend's events, there may be hope for me yet!

On Saturday, while working on the landscaping in my tiny backyard, I finally had the opportunity to talk to the neighbor who has lived behind me the past three years and discovered that he is on the training staff for the Flyers. My neighbor was watering his freshly planted sod which was laid courtesy of former Phantoms Phan Favorite, Frank "The Animal" Bialowas (more on that in another post) and we got started talking about the Orange and Black's off season plans. To no surprise, he indicated that he expects the team to be aggressive in free agency due to all the money they have under the cap, but also gave me one interesting tidbit. It is likely that Joni Pitkanen is a goner.

He said he just doesn't seem to be mature enough to make it in the NHL. He is a loner and acts more like a 16 year old than a guy in his early 20's. He said he wouldn't be surprised if he returned to Finland in a year or two to return to his family and friends. As such, he thinks Holmgren might look to move him despite his protests in the media that Pitkanen is a guy he wants to build around. It seems like he has come to the same conclusion that many of the phans arrived at last year....the kid is the NHL version of Nuke LaLoosh. A million dollar body, but a 10 cent head. Best to trade the guy now before he loses any more of his remaining value.

If he does go, you can put me in the category of people that will be ecstatic. I just don't think this kid is mentally or physically tough enough to ever be a factor in NHL playoff hockey. Despite for the changes in the new NHL, you still have to have some grit to succeed in the playoffs and Pitkanen is sorely lacking in this category. I still remember when he freaked out during last year's team building exercises in training camp last year when he was the only guy on the team unable to complete the obstacle course. I knew right there and then that this kid was soft.

In any event, I'm all for cutting our losses with this kid and using the savings to pursue another free agent or to trade for a player from a team that is trying to shed salary.

Ok, now that I have a source, I'll try to cultivate it and break some more Flyers' news. Maybe I'll even become the Peter King of the NHL! Unfortunately, even if I did gain some level of inside information for the Orange & Black, only about three of you would read the posts because the rest of you don't care about hockey. I guess that's just my luck, folks.

Successful Home Stand

The Phils pulled out another series taking 2 out of 3 from the Blue Jays. Today, the Phils won 5-3 on the strength of a homer by the suddenly resurgent Pat Burrell, this year's career minor leaguer surprise, Greg Dobbs, and the surprisingly effective pithcing of Adam Eaton. However, once again, Brett Myers showed that his move to closer isn't all that bad an idea. I love that we have a closer that can get more than three outs and doesn't scare you to death when he enters the game. Maybe this should be Myers' role for the rest of his career. Could it be the Phils finally lucked into something?

Anyhow, the Phils are now .500 and 7 games back of the Mets (this was written prior to their game with the Yanks on Sunday night). Next on the schedule are trips to Florida and Atlanta. This Phils have sucked in division and on the road this year so let's see if this turn around is for real or just a mirage.

Based on this group's prior history, I'm not expecting a whole lot, but I would love to be proved wrong.

Entertaining Video

Man, this video reminds of how things used to be at the Vet. I must be getting old because I really don't mind going to a clean ball park to watch a game where douche bags aren't continually arguing and then pissing in the sinks.

By the way, my favorite part of this video is the dude with his infant child turning around and searching for the chick flashing her boobs to the crowd. That is a great example of fatherhood.

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Also, I ask that everyone do me a favor and please keep "TF", a regular poster to this blog, in your thoughts and prayers for the upcoming weeks. Tom, we are all pulling for you, Cat and Ian.

Ok, I'll Give

After tonight's game, I realize that it's time to say something nice about the Phils....Cole Hamels is an absolute freakin' stud. There's no other way around it. If the kid stays healthy, he'll become the best pitcher this town has seen since Lefty. (And if the Phils ever find a closer, we might have another Schill in the rotation in Myers, but that's another rant for another day.)

We're getting close to the territory where every one of the starts by the "Dreamboat" (as a former co-worker derisively called him) is a must see. When he spots his fastball, his change up becomes unhittable and double digit strike out starts become common place.

It's amazing that four studs such as Cole, Utley, J Roll and Howard are coming up together. Let's just hope the Phils' horrendous management doesn't blow the prime of their careers by surrounding them with guys like Wes Helms, Pat Burrell and Tom Gordon.

Wow...it really wasn't that hard to be positive. What's come over me!

Stat of the Night: Yes, the Phils have reached .500, but they are still five games under .500 against the NL East. As usual, they are getting healthy against teams from lesser divisions.

Eagles' Mini-Camp: Rousing Success

To me, mini camp is a glorified walk through. If we had a real baseball franchise in town, it would probably be mostly overlooked. Anyhow, when you get through one of these camps and no one gets hurt or is holding out over a contract impasse, then it has to be considered a success.

Really, I can't think of measuring these camps in any other way.

Since this city is all Birds, all the time, you will be happy to know that according to Eagles' flunky, Dave Spadaro:

This was the first of four camps before training camp. The rookies now stay around and condition, study, work out and prepare for the May 24 Rookie Camp. After that is a camp -- technically called Organized Team Activities -- for selected veterans and rookies and then another OTA for all veterans and rookies.

"Organized Team Activities"? Who the eff came up with this tag? It must have been a lawyer and the term was created to get around some players' union rule. Gotta love the shrewd NFL team of lawyers. They are as creative as the day is long.

Savor It - Part II

The Phils once again showed some resolve tonight and dramatically won another game against the Brew Crew. Tonight, Carlos Ruiz was the hero as he hit a 9th inning walk off homer after the Wife Beater blew the lead in the top of the inning.

I'm starting to get the feeling that this will be the series that ropes the entire city back in....I won't be one of them. I've learned my lesson. This management group doesn't have the financial or mental wherewithal to pull off a deal that will put this team in the playoffs. Sorry guys, thinking any differently is just plain irrational.

Anyhow, here's my favorite stat of the night....Despite only giving up 1 earned run over 7 and 2/3 innings, Adam Eaton's ERA is still 6.42. Gotta love the genius that is Pat Gillick.

There's Hope For Me Yet

As some of you know, I'm trying to improve my golf game to the point where I can actually call it a hobby and get some enjoyment out of it. Yes, despite the impending arrival of our daughter, work and MBA studies, I've decided that I need something to replace my usual routine of reading various blogs, message boards, and other Internet sites.

I've even taken some lessons lately. Thanks to my main man, Ed Kramer, at Valleybrook Country Club I actually hit an impressive shot every now and again. However, much to my chagrin, the lessons have only converted me from an embarrassingly brutal golfer to one that is just plain old embarrassing. In any event, I've been trying to convince myself that my ever increasing girth is a part of the problem in preventing me from improving my swing.

I was really starting to believe this theory until I caught Mike Foster (pictured above) on the Golf Channel's Big Break VII. This big ol' Hoss is pushing three bills, but he seems to have no problem whatsoever with his golf swing. He overcomes his offensive lineman quality gut and seems to beats the ever loving sh*t out of the ball with every swing.

Oh well....so much my theory. It seemed reasonable earlier this evening after slicing four straight shots with my driver.

Is This Really A Story?

Is it me or is any one else tired of the predictable story line every year of the media focusing on those Eagles on their last year of a contract? This story has repeated itself over and over since 2002 and Hugh Douglas's final year with the Birds (before coming back in 2004 disguised as ND Kalu and Jon Harris' illegitimate son). Seriously, I'm totally bored by the story.

The Birds have 21 of 22 of this year's projected starters tied up through at least 2008. L.J. Smith is the only guy that will be a free agent at year's end. And the media focus on the issue has started already. Being a Rutgers alum, I probably like the maddeningly inconsistent LJ better than most. However, even I realize that his presence on the Eagles is not life and death. He's not exactly Antonio Gates out there. If signs, he signs. If not, so what. The Birds will find someone to take his place....someone who might catch the ball more consistently and block better.

Anyhow, if I was LJ's agent, I wouldn't let him re-sign with the Birds. This offseaon, the Giants' backup TE, Visanthe Shianco got huge money ($18 million contract with $8 million in guaranteed money) from the Vikings. What did he do to justify this contract, you ask? Well, he has compiled 35 receptions over 4 years while never starting more than seven games in a season and never caught more than 12 passes in a season. Sorry, if that's the going rate for a guy like this, what can an above average starter like LJ command? Clearly, more than Bean Counter Banner wants to pay.

Therefore, in the final analysis, LJ is 99% gone. Just prepare yourself mentally. I know I will. I will also especially make sure to avoid the multitude of lazy ass articles on this issue that we can expect the rest of the year.

Savor It

Yes, those are my words of wisdom for all Phils' phans. Savor tonight's improbable win over the Brew Crew. The amazing 6 run 8th inning was our one big yearly highlight. While tonight's win was fun and all...let's see a show of hands...how many people expected the Wife Beater to blow the game in the 9th? I know I surely did.

Anyhow, Phillies' phans are all too aware of this phenomenon. The Phils get one major signature win a year that phans get way too excited about. (Last year, it was that Sunday afternoon game in August that Ryan Howard simply wouldn't let us lose.) Tonight was this year's win that we'll remember come the end of the year. Christ, even Baberaham Nunez and Wes Helms got big hits. How often is that going to happen this year?

I recommend that all you die hards to not get too far ahead of yourselves. The sensible thing to do would be to put this one in your memory banks and savor it. The rest of the year will bore you to tears.

(By the way, I caught this stat on Yahoosports.com:

They're 14-9 since a 4-11 start

I love b.s. stats like these. It gives fuel to phans that are trying to fool themselves into thinking that this team is turning things around. Sorry, I don't buy it, no matter how well they've done since the horrible start.)

Almost Forgot....

The Birds started mini camp today. Thank the lord. I can't wait read puff pieces for the next three days about how CJ Gaddis has a chance to improve our dime defense on third and long and how Jeremy Bloom is finally in football shape and ready to contribute to the team.

In any event, it's nice to have the Birds back in my life. I've had enough of the Phils, Flyers and Sixers lately.

By the way, the above picture is our new quarterback....He doesn't look real athletic to me. Looks more like a college kid looking for a wet T shirt contest at a kegger, but what the hell do I know.

I won't even attempt to caption this one. It just looks flat out strange. Although, it kind of looks like he's being measured for a crown that shows that he's Big Red's new favorite. I bet you Kolb wouldn't show up his new boss by calling a press conference at a skating rink!

I Really Don't Understand This One

Philadelphia Phans have spent generation after generation earning a reputation as being some of the most knowledgeable phans in the country. We are also clearly the most impatient bunch of phans this side of English Premiere League Football fans. That's why I'm so perplexed by tonight's handling of Pat the Bat's performance tonight.

Of course, it's great that the guy finally woke up this year and showed some power tonight on a day that he was openly called out by his manager. Sure, it was fantastic to see his two bombs and 5 RBI's. However, we all know this is more of the classic example of a blind squirrel finding a nut rather than Pat straightening things out and getting ready to go on a run.

I understand that the phans were just trying to give the guy some support with the standing O this evening, as we all know he is desperately needed if this team is to go anywhere this year. Although, I think the phans forgot something tonight...Burrell is the highest paid player on the damn team. Performances like tonight should be expected a couple times a month, not once or twice a season. As a result, tonight's reaction by the phans at tonight's game was totally irresponsible. I've never been more disappointed by a Philly crowd.

We gave this guy a free pass for the entire 2003 season (when he followed up a 37 HR, 116 RBI, .282 average with an average of .209, along with only 21 HR's and 64 RBI season) and were afraid to boo him despite his season long slump because we didn't want to alienate our perceived new superstar. Burrell has spent more time the last five years brooding, souring the clubhouse, partying and chasing broads than trying to help this franchise. He does not deserve standing ovations. He deserves the type of treatment this city usually reserves for classic overpaid, underachievers. As a result, I say boo the shit out of this sonuvabitch every chance you get until he proves that he can meaningfully contribute to this team.

If you can't tell, I've totally moved past the point of pessimistic with this group of Phillies. Matter of fact, I don't think you can take anything I say about this team seriously as I'm totally tainted for the foreseeable future.

Thanks, Mo

Like most of you, I'm barely following the NBA playoffs. I'm just not a big fan of the league anymore. There aren't that many compelling story lines that pique my interest. However, I have been half paying attention to the run by the underdog, Golden State Warriors. One of their contributors has been Sixers' cast off, Matt Barnes. No, I don't remember him either. Nonetheless, he had some alarming things to say about a long time Philly guy that run pretty contrary to his public persona. Barnes had the following things to say about Mo Cheeks:

"He's the biggest a------ in the world," says Barnes. "He talked to me like I wasn't a man. Other players saw it and would tell me, 'Don't let him talk to you like that.' "

"I was real close [to quitting]," says Barnes. "My teammates knew it. My friends knew it. My agent knew it. I was done."

What Nelson also did not know was how hard Barnes had worked on his shooting last year in Philadelphia. That season Barnes worked with shooting coach Buzz Braman to remove the hitch in his jump shot. Once free from Philadelphia, Barnes continued to focus his attention on becoming a more lethal perimeter player.

"I owe that to [Cheeks] too," says Barnes sarcastically. "The stuff he did to me lit my fire. Whenever I was tired, I thought of him."

I realize this is not a major deal, but we all hate to see when a Philly coach or GM runs a guy out of town that can play. Plus, who would have ever expected this from Mo? I always looked at him as a soft spoken guy. I never thought he would be able to control guys like AI due to his seemingly low key personality. I guess he does have it in him to be a ball buster. Unfortunately, he couldn't get this guy to play while he was here.

However, as I think about it...why couldn't Mo alienate the entire team like this guy over the final 40 games of this year so they could have cemented a top 5 pick?

Wait...does anyone care? Is anyone reading this? I realize it's the Sixers. I'll refrain from mentioning them again until the lottery gets here.

Far From A Surprise

Leave it to semi retired columnist, Bill Conlin (whom my buddy Mister Nascar sighted having dinner at the Creole Cafe in Washington Township Friday evening), to finally reveal how personnel decisions have been being made by the Phils. Here are the sad details from his column today:

The look of today's Phillies is starting to suspiciously resemble the unwinding organization of the 1980s. The ballclub has moved from the upholstered sewer that was the Vet. But now, as then, the farm system is thinner than jailhouse gravy. Now as then, there is a solid nucleus in place, but the roster depth is teacup shallow and the modern salary ethic prevents good old Charlie Manuel from fielding his best lineup. A penny for his real thoughts when the decision was made that Tom Gordon at 38 would be a healthier closer than Billy Wagner at 34. I don't know about you, but I can watch Placido Polanco tearing up the American League daily on the MLB TV package. To see Ugueth Urbina in a Venezuelan prison, however, I need a visa, plane ticket and bribe money.

Meanwhile, the ka-ching factor has never been higher. The big bucks generated by the Money Pit that fans and non-fans of the city and state helped them build require a big committee.

It appears that Dave Montgomery, the lineal successor of autobiographer and limited partner Bill Giles, now presides over a Gang of Eight. That's inflation for you.

According to various people close to the ballclub, the inner circle around Monty consists of (in a rough guesstimate of importance) GM Pat Gillick, special assistant to the GM Charley Kerfeld (Pat's offseason hire), director of major league scouting Gordon Lakey (worked for Pat in Toronto, but hired by Phils in 1998), assistant GM Ruben Amaro Jr. (Gillick's heir apparent), assistant GM Mike Arbuckle (two more assistant GMs and Gillick will be an Ace), and manager Charlie Manuel ("Hey, Charlie, I'm getting you Jayson Werth, Greg Dobbs and Antonio Alfonseca. Excited?") Last, and possibly least, according to some conjecturers, is longtime organization conscience Dallas Green. He's become the guy in every country club 19th hole who is always the loudest and most opinionated, but is tolerated because he plays scratch golf and has the trophies to prove it. His radio shot at Manuel's managing last season could have lowered his stock. Or, just maybe, Dallas has grown weary of telling them to stop signing 5-10, 175-pound position players just because they meet stopwatch standards.

This is a big, diverse committee, I guarantee, and Monty only breaks ties where big money is concerned. Unfortunately, big money is concerned in just about every phase of the operation.

This article totally confirms things for me. I really, really, really despise this franchise. How can they freakin' operate this way? What successful sporting franchise has this many players involved in making a decision? Are you telling me that eight people signed off on this bullpen, bench, last year's preseason Delucci/Tejada trade and this offseason's signings of Eaton, Helms and Barajas? If so, they should all be fired. I would love to sit in a meeting and see the group dynamics at play and find out how they talk themselves into certain decisions. I have a strong feeling that their logic would reveal to be totally laughable.

Mark my words, this team will never, ever win anything of importance with this ownership group.

The One, The Only...Paulie Walnuts

Simply hilarious...gotta love Paulie. Plus, this is only a small sample of his talents.

By the way, yes, I did steal this off the Sports Guys' blog.

In Case Anyone Still Cares.....

The Phillies won today. OOOOOOOHHHHHH Phillies win!!!! Phillies win...(Ok, maybe the John Sterling imitation - the Yankees blowhard announcer - doesn't translate real well to black and white.)

Here are some interesting tidbits:

-Someone woke up Ryan Howard today and he hit a grand slam. (Let's hope it's a good omen.)

-At the start of today's game, Pat Burrell was hit .077 on the road trip and had gone 2 for his last 26. He proceeded to go 0 for 2 today. So much for his fast start, huh?

-After being offensively inept for most of the road trip, the Phils scored 9 runs in the final 3 innings today. If you take away the final three innings today and the first four innings of the first game of the Giants series, the Phils only mustered 19 runs over the next 56 innings. Pretty pathetic, huh?

That's your 2007 Phils. Can you stand the excitement?

No Longer A Company Man

After reading the multitude of articles today (here's a link to one of the better ones), it sure looks like there is a breach in the relationship with the Birds and D Mac. (Christ, even Dave Spadaro took a subtle swipe at him in his column today. See "If it works for him...") No matter how you slice it, yesterday's interviews showed that D Mac is no longer going to be controlled by Big Red, Banner and Co. I don't know about you guys, but I do perceive this to be a bad thing.

My favorite part of the story is how McNabb's new PR rep (a guy the Eagles just fired) refused to grant permission to ABC 6. I'm not a big fan of Action News, so I support their decision. I also got a chuckle that the interviews were handled at the Skate Zone in Voorhees. Of all places...why there? Also, you gotta love McNabb's new beard. One of the articles described it as making him look like a cross between Abe Lincoln and an Amish Farmer. I think you can add Bad News Brown to the list (God Rest His Soul).

Anyhow, I don't think the relationship is past the point of no return as Sal Pal suggested today. I think it can be salvaged, especially if McNabb comes back healthy, performs on the field, and the team wins big. Just don't expect things to be a smoothed over between #5 and Big Red any time soon.

Pretty Amazing Golf Shot

Amazing golf shot - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

I wonder if this is real...I have my doubts.

Brings Back Damn Good Memories, Huh?

Just came across this video from the night the Phils won the 1993 National League Pennant. Damn, it brings back some good memories. We really need to experience something like that again.

My favorite part is when the crowd breaks into "Whoop There It Is". Man, I really forgot how big that song was. I must have killed a ton of brain cells my senior year at RU.

Apparently, this film was created by a University of the Art's Student. Johnny Gold? You want to fess up?

Camden Yards Trip

Hey everyone, I'm heading to Baltimore's Inner Harbor and Camden Yards this week. While I'm there, I'm hitting an Orioles game at Camden Yards (aka the House that Asbestos Litigation Built) for the first time. If anyone has any recommendations, please add them in the comments section or email them to me at tony_dangelis@hotmail.com.

Unfortunately, the Orioles are only playing the Devil Rays, but I guess that's why tickets were so easy to come by. It should be a fun trip nonetheless as American League baseball is pretty much superior to the National League.

Surprisingly, this will be my first game of the season. I suppose this is a pretty decent indicator of my displeasure with the Phils. By the way, Tony Clark (he's still in the league?!?!) just hit a ball so far off of Adam Eaton that it had an in flight movie. (Is this thing on? Thank you, thank you...I'll be here all week.) Although, how mad can I get? Eaton just went seven strong innings, only giving up 3 runs. Wait...why the eff am I even watching? I needto remind myself how much I hate this franchise.

Finally, D Mac Speaks

Finally, D Mac spoke up about the Kevin Kolb situation as he was a guest on Howard Eskin's radio show this afternoon. Once again, he took a difficult, media created controversy and diffused it. Christ, I really think McNabb could win an election. He is the ultimate politician.

If I was the head of Syracuse University's Communication Department, I would put together a compilation of greatest hits for his best press conferences. What future Communications major wouldn't want to head up there after hearing D Mac handle T.O., Rush Limbaugh, playoff losses, and season ending injuries. He definitely getting his money's worth out his education.

In any event, here's a link to the interview.

Deserted

Thanks to the predictable disappointing start to the Phils' season, we are smack dab in the middle of the worst time of the year for Philadelphia sports. Currently, the Philly sporting landscape is a virtual desert and we are the proverbial man dying of thirst. What are we to get excited about?

The Eagles' draft is in the rear view mirror with a bogus mini camp up coming, where the media vultures will be out looking for D Mac to take a mistep in the mine field that is the Kevin Kolb situation. The NBA Draft Lottery, which holds the Sixers' hopes for years to come, is a couple weeks away and likely to be an act of futility for what fans are left of that franchise. The Flyers' offseason appears to be promising as the Orange & Black have a lot of salary cap flexibility and tradeable assets, but the draft scheduled for early June will probably net a prospect that will not be ready for three years.

As for the Phils, this deserves another post entirely, but I'm dangerously close to writing off them off...not for just 2007. Forever. I hate this team and despise the ownership/management even more. I've had enough of their act. I hate this organization to its core. (I have now convinced myself. I really need to get more in depth with what I would do if I suddenly had $50 Billion burning a whole in my pocket and could buy the Phils.)

Anyhow, as you can tell from the lack of posts the last couple days, I'm at a loss. There just is nothing to talk about. I'm apparently not the only one. The Daily News and Inky were totally devoid of anything worth reading today. The only thing that has held my interest lately was the Sports Guy's hilarious article about the De La Hoya/Mayweather fight and this exquisite article from a month old issue of SI about the 1957 desegregation of an Arkansas high school that also fielded the best football program in the country. (Another article that is coming is my love for SI, even though it seems to be losing its place with the rest of the populace.)

We are in the middle of a sports waste land and we are begging for someone...anyone to pull us out of it. (By the way, it most certainly will not be Antonio Alfonseca. As I write this, Six Fingers just gave up the lead to the D-Backs. On the bright side, a bunch of Phils' phans out in Arizona just audibly booed Pat Burrell as he came to bat in the Top of the 8th. Gotta love the passion of our faithful.)

Phils Rolling

I'm about to head to bed with the Phils up 9-2 in the 5th. I guess the Phils like the Pacific Time Zone, huh? Last time I checked, J Roll has 2 triples and the entire team has 11 hits. Christ, even Adam Eaton hasn't made a fool of himself yet tonight.

I better hurry up and get to bed before the Giants mount a comeback. Although, any time I've posted during a Phils' game, the results haven't been pretty. The heck with it...I'm getting this posted and hitting the sack.

A Head Scratcher

While I am pretty happy that the Birds signed one of the last NFL Free Agents of note, former Bears DT, Ian Scott, I can't say I fully understand it. All off season, the Birds' propaganda machine has promoted last year's first round pick, Broderick Bunkley, as the key to the success of the defense in 2007. I fully agree with this premise. If the Birds' run defense is to take a step up from last year's collossal disappointment, then Bunkley absolutely needs to be a force in the middle.

In theory, I agree with the Birds' front office that Scott, a 300 lb run stuffing DT, can help stabilize the middle of the defense along with Reagor, but I worry that these moves will delay Bunkley's development into a big time player. Since Bunkley will need a lot more playing time earlier in the year to establish himself, the presence of Scott and Reagor might prevent Bunk from getting the snaps he desperately needs. Hopefully, I'm wrong, and Scott/Reagor replace Darwin Walker/Sam Rayburn, and team with Bunkley and Mike Patterson to turn the defensive tackle position from a position of weakness to one of strength.

In any event, I'm starting to like the depth of players available at DT, DE and at LB. Sure, there are a lot of question marks, but when you have this many talented players available to fill starting spots, a good portion of the uncertainties are bound to work out in your favor.

Whoa...I gotta stop myself. I'm way too positive all the sudden. I'll reign myself back in with this comment. The Birds just gave a cool million dollars to a guy that has 2 sacks in 4 years. With those kind of stats, this guy better be a run defense specialist or he'll find himself out of a job pretty quick. Plus, with our luck with guys on one year contracts, I'm sure Ian Scott will be a one year wonder and then leave for huge dollars elsewhere.

Isn't that how things always play out for us Philly phans?

Gotta Love Fat Guys With Rhythm

As anyone that went to a Flyers game this season can attest, Shawn Hill was the only entertaining thing going on down at the Wachovia Center. Since I am also a little bit on the "big boned" side of the equation, I can greatly appreciate Mr. Hill's moves. I give the kid credit. I would come off as a complete douche if I tried any of these moves.

While I hope the kid and the dance routine come back next season, I pray that he's no longer the most interesting thing to watch at Flyers games in 07-08.

Phils Lose Again, But Gain A New Closer

Yes, the Phils lost yet again to the Braves tonight. They lost 4-3 behind another average performance by the supposed new ace of the staff, Freddie Garcia. Garcia's start to 2007 has been an absolute flop. Through four starts, a capable major league pitcher should throw at least two games where he reaches the 7th inning. So far this season, Garcia has a 6.05 ERA and has yet to record an out in the 6th inning. Brutal...just brutal.

However, there were a couple glimmers of hope to come out of tonight's game. First, the Phils have finally given in and Brett Myers is now the closer by default as Flash Gordon has a "stiff shoulder". Flash is heading back to Philly to be examined by the team physician, but I wouldn't be shocked if he is shut down for a while. He just hasn't looked right all year and the guy is 39 years old.

Also, Ryan Howard finally hit another home run crushing a three run homer to center in the 6th. Hopefully, this homer and going out west will help the Big Man dial in his stroke.

In any event, things aren't going to get any easier as the Phils are heading out west for series against the Giants and the D Backs. At least we won't have to suffer through any more blown saves by Flash Gordon.

Slight Improvement

I now interrupt my coverage of the Eagles' draft to inform everyone that the Phils improved on their April record from last season. The Phils finished the month of Apirl with a record of 11-14, which is improvement of one game over last year!

They also finally beat a good team tonight, taking a 6-4 decision over the Braves behind Cole Hamels and the red hot Aaron Rowand.

By the way, someone by the name of Dave Gallagher co-hosted the Phils' post game show with Leslie Gudel. Supposedly, this guy played for the Phils at one point in his life. For the life of me, I can't remember him with the Phils, but he actually did according to this website. I guess anyone with at least one major league at bat can get a co-host gig on this show. I guess Ramon Aviles, Rick Schu and Nino Espinosa were unavailable.

Rich Eisen? Seriously, Alycia...Rich Eisen?

In case you missed the most interesting story of the day, here it is:

CBS3 news anchor Alycia Lane is in a pickle after private e-mails and bikini photos she sent to NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen were intercepted by his wife, the New York Post reported today.

Lane, who is recently divorced, sent seven e-mails and several photos to an account shared by Eisen and his wife, Suzy Shuster, who reports from the sidelines for ABC’s college football broadcasts, the Post reported.

Shuster responded with an angry letter to Lane, which was obtained by the Post’s Page Six, which read: “Boy, do you look amazing in a bikini … congrats! Whatever you’re doing (Pilates? yoga?) keep doing it – it’s working for you. Anyway, sorry but those seven e-mails you sent to my husband, Rich, well, oops, they came to the e-mail address we both use from time to time, but no worries, I’ll forward the beach shots as well as the ones of you dancing with your friends on to his main address. Do you have it?”

She goes on to provide her hubby’s private e-mail address, “since you surely are trying so hard to get his attention. I mean, what better way to get a guy’s attention than with skin! Best – Suzy Shuster Eisen”

A source told Page Six: “Alycia is divorced and apparently looking for love again in all the wrong places. She send [Eisen] an e-mail saying she was going to L.A., and she attached some risqué pictures just to whet his appetite. But, whoops, Rich is married to Suzy.”

Both Lane and Eisen refused comment for the Post report, and Shuster did not respond to their e-mail seeking comment.

I have three questions...First, is Rich Eisen really the object of Alycia's desires? Seriously? The smug guy that used to be on ESPN? Of all guys on TV, Rich Eisen? I suppose Dan Patrick and Stuart Scott don't do it for her. Anyhow, The Wife watches a lot of sports with me and she never fails to point out whom she thinks is a good looking dude. However, I have never heard her mention Rich Eisen as falling into that category. (Now, Steve Young is another story altogether. I had to calm the wife down a couple of times during the draft on Saturday.)

Second, how long before the bikini clad pictures of Alycia reach the web? I'm guessing less than a week. Don't worry, I'll post them once I find them. I'm guessing that most of you, like me, are pretty anxious to see them.

Third, when did it become acceptable for chicks to entice guys by emailing them scantily clad pictures of themselves? Man, was I born about five years too early. The internet is a wonderful thing.

The Guy Is In The NFL Hall Of Fame For A Reason

Once again, Ray Didinger shows us why he's in the NFL Hall of Fame. Check out this article on Comcastsportsnet.com. He expresses everyone's frustration in a couple of perfectly crafted paragraphs:

Most Philadelphia fans don’t know enough about Kolb to have an opinion on him one way or another. How many people in the Eagles Nation ever saw Kolb throw a pass before the highlights started to roll on Saturday? How many times did you stay home on Saturday night to watch the University of Houston on the dish? A show of hands, please?

To all but the most hardcore draftniks, Kolb is an unknown, which means it is impossible to pass judgment on whether or not he will be successful in the NFL. Those who are attempting to do that – saying he lacks the skills, lacks the arm, lacks whatever -- are being unfair. At this point, we simply don’t know.

But it is fair to say Kolb won’t be on the field this season, and if some Eagles fans have a problem with that, I understand.

With his selection of Kolb -- and with his comments later -- Andy Reid told the fans the Eagles were just fine. They could look to the future with their first pick because they were set in every position for the 2007 season.

It is hard to sell that argument in a town that hasn’t seen an NFL championship since 1960. It is even harder when you consider what the New England Patriots have done, signing the top linebacker on the free agent market, Adalius Thomas, adding three new receivers in Randy Moss, Donté Stallworth and Wes Welker and using their first draft pick on Miami safety Brandon Meriweather, who figures to play a big role in their defense this season.

Let’s do the math.

The Patriots won 12 games last season and advanced to the AFC Championship Game where they fell just short against Indianapolis, 38-34. The Eagles won 10 games and went as far as the NFC Divisional Playoff, where they lost to New Orleans, 27-24. Advantage: Patriots.

The Patriots have won three Super Bowls in the past six years. The Eagles have won zero Super Bowls in their history. The Patriots and the Eagles met in Super Bowl XXXIX. I think we all remember how that turned out. Advantage: Patriots.

Yet here we are gearing up for the 2007 season, and which team is demonstrating the greater sense of urgency? Clearly, it is the Patriots. The Eagles, meanwhile, are sitting in front of an empty trophy case and telling us they have a pat hand.

That’s why people are upset.

Wow...a succinct, cogent argument. Something we don't see a whole lot of any more in this city. I just wish Big Red, Banner and the boys would understand this is why we are so frustrated despite the consistent winning seasons.