God, I Miss College

This video was sent in by my buddy, George.

Thank God, me and my crew at Rutgers never discovered this little skills competition. I might still be there trying to finish up my degree.

In any event, this video and the sorry state of affairs with Philly sports clinches it for me. I am really going to throw myself into golf this Spring. Lord knows I will definitely need something to occupy my time before Eagles' training camp gets here.

Totally Embarrassing

After today, there's nothing more left to say about this team. The bullpen melted down for the third time in seven games, giving up an 7 run 8th inning to sink the Phils yet again in a 11-5 loss to the Mets. I would comment further on the bullpen, but I'm pretty much speechless at their total lack of professionalism. In case you missed it (although the fans at Shea sure didn't), J Roll also failed to back up his pre season smack talk by booting a potential double play ball that keyed the Mets' rally. Let's hope he learned to keep his mouth shut going forward.

I'm running out of hyperbole to denounce this team. I feel like a woman who keeps coming back to her drug addicted ex husband, yet he remains unfaithful and continues to beat her. Why do we keep coming back? Why do we care? Seriously. Why? Why are we subjected to this crap every year? Surely, we can find something better to do with our time.

As usual, I put the blame at the feet of the ownership group. If this was a business, would the stockholders keep the same Board of Directors in place? Clearly, the answer is no. At this point, I just want the Phils to move to another city, along with the clueless owners, ridiculous wannabe red pin stripes and goofy team nickname. I then want an expansion team in its place under the guidance of uber owner, Mark Cuban and an even goofier team name, like the "Revolution" or "Liberty".

Of course this will never happen, but it's late and I'm about to head off to bed and I want something good to dream about.

Yup, This Pretty Much Sums Up The Season

Thankfully, the Flyers season is now over and all that's left before the Orange & Black move into major rebuilding mode is the end of year autopsy. Well, it looks like Flyers winger, Sami Kapanen got an early start and relayed his feelings on this year:

“It’s been a season-long struggle. Being part of the worst season in franchise history really sucks. You always want a shot at the Stanley Cup, and not even being close at Christmas to making the playoffs, makes it a tough ride. It really, really sucks.”

Amen, Sami. Amen.

Here are some other nuggets from Tim Panaccio's post on Hockeybuzz.com today:

The 45-point dropoff from last season to this was the most ever in hockey, according to Elias Sports Bureau.

**

All the injuries … 301 man games lost

**

“We didn’t expect to be where we are now,” said Comcast-Spectacor chairman Peter Luukko. “It’s so disappointing, especially when you are so used to winning ... But we have plenty of cap room to fill the holes we have and compete at the highest level next season.”

**

“I like to believe some good things will come out of it because it’s a learning process for our young guys,” said GM Paul Holmgren. “Next year from the start of camp, we need to have a strong work ethic to get back into the thick of things. There’s work that needs to be done. It starts with the draft and then preparation for [free agency] July 1st, trying to score big in free agent market.”

On the bright side, the comments from Holmgren and Luuko show that this team is going to be very active in the offseason to improve the team.....Thank the Lord!

Maybe next year, we'll have real live NHL hockey to watch.

This Easter Bunny Laid An Egg

The Easter Bunny was not the only person delivering eggs to the Delaware Valley this weekend. In case you missed it, your Philadelphia Phillies laid a humongous Easter Egg this weekend dropping 2 out of 3 to the Florida Marlins.

Yup, your Phils are only 1-5 in this young season and right back in the same hole as last season. Already, the Phils find themselves 4 games behind the Mets, with a series against the defending NL East champs starting tomorrow. With what we've seen of both teams so far this year, this series has major "ugly" potential for the Phils. I guess all that talk about not getting themselves into an early season deficit wasn't really taken to heart by the players.

By the way, if you were in charge of the Phils and year after year they got off to slow starts, wouldn't you change how things are done in Training Camp? Call me crazy, but doesn't something need to change down in Clearwater one of these years? Management's unwillingness to demand change in this area is just another reason why Montgomery and Company will never win anything in this town.

Lord, this organization annoys me to tears. On the bright side, at least the Flyers season was finally put out of its misery and the heartless Phil Mickelson was a non factor in the final round of the Masters.

Off The Unintentional Comedy Scale

If you read the Sports Guy with any regularity, you are familiar with his unintentional comedy scale. For those uninitated, the unintentional comedy scale delves into all things that aren't meant to be funny, but actually turn out to be pretty freakin' laughable. Well, we just witnessed one of the highest moments of Philadelphia sports unintentional comedy.

Tonight, during the Phils/Fish game on CW Philly 57, Wheels read a promo for the Pussycat Dolls reality show. He seemed to be as uncomfortable as I plan to be with anything ultra-girlie that my unborn daughter eventually gets involved with. Clearly, Wheels is a bit out of his element talking about hot and slutty, musical girl groups.

As if we needed any additional evidence, Wheels should stick to talking about all things "middle-in" and annoyingly overprotecting the Phils. I would have loved to have seen how Harry the K and Whitey would have handled this advertisement. That would have been entertaining. At the very least, I'm willing to bet it Whitey would have thrown in a "Hard to believe, Harry. Hard to believe."

Bullpen Help On The Way?

Pat Gillick, our ex-pat GM who now lives in Toronto, Canada, made a deal today for some so- called bullpen help. The Phils gave up cash to Gillick's home town Blue Jays in return for right handed reliever, Francisco Rosario, who had been designated for assignment (i.e., waived, cut, fired, shit canned, etc.) last week.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm so relieved to hear that we traded for an extra arm to come out of the 'pen, especially when I learned he had a 6.65 ERA in 17 appearances last year. My fears were also allayed when I read that Gillick believes that Rosario "turned a corner this spring" and "has a lot of upside". I don't know about you guys, but I now feel so reassured!

When most teams come into a season with postseason dreams, but later find a glaring hole on their roster, their GM searches far and wide to find a replacement. Not Pat Gillick. Apparently, he trotted his lazy ass a few miles from his home to the Sky Dome and offered cash to the Jays for a retread.

Thanks for the hard work, Pat. Nothing engenders confidence in a GM like a trade of convenience.

Phils' Swept Off Their Feet, But Phans Aren't

There ain't a whole lot to say about today's 8-4 loss to the Braves. Basically, the Phils got taken to the woodshed today after blowing the first two games of the series. Unfortunately, I expect similar result when the Phils travel to Shea to face the Mets early next week. It sure looks like J Roll's comments sure stirred up the bee hives of their NL East brethren.

Overall, I guess I'm not as pissed off as last night. (I guess you can tell by the lack of vitriol in this post.) However, the Phils' start to the season is still pretty friggin' disappointing. In the comments section of yesterday's Gillick article, my buddy the Captain suggested that we give this team 20 games (the equivalent of two regular season NFL games) before drawing any conclusions as to the potential long term success of this team. I suppose that's the prudent, reasonable thing to do, but I live in the greater Philadelphia metropolitan area and it is my absolute birth rite to jump to wild conclusions about our sports team.

As such, after witnessing the first series of the season, my gut tells me that this team is no different than the other Phils' teams of the past 5-6 years which have been mired in "Above Average Mediocrity". This team still lacks clutch, situational hitting and a dependable bullpen.

Therefore, until I see differently, I'm sticking to this early season conclusion....82-80.

The Real Culprit

It is quite clear that what Pat Gillick has done in constructing this team the past offseason is down right criminal. Sure it's easy to pick on Uncle Cholly, but he's only working with the slop Gillick gave him.

I think it's pretty evident that Gillick compiled a team that is pretty much post season ready except for one spot. THE F'N BULLPEN! (Oh yeah, let's not forget the mental midget playing in left field.)

How could he so egregiously overlook such an important spot as the bullpen??? Instead of overspending for 5th starter Adam Eaton, wouldn't it have made more sense to split his $8 million salary between two quality free agent relievers?

Christ, this is maddening. Two outstanding starting pitching efforts have gone for naught as the bullpen is flat out terrible.

Gillick is now reminding me of Clarkie. Everyone knew the Flyers during the Lindros era were championship caliber at every position except between pipes. However, Clarkie never wavered in his desire to bring in retread after retread to play goalie for the Orange & Black. Hopefully, Gillick doesn't wait as long as Clarkie did before correcting a glaring hole.

Someone Might Want To Let Chase Know....

That the season has F'N started and he needs to start hitting! I guess he missed his wake up call. Maybe he should use some of that money he made this offseason and buy himself an alarm clock.

I Hate The Phillies

This is exactly why I have always had trouble committing to this team. They are heartless, gutless pricks who never come up big when it matters. Yes, it is game 2, but they'll scuffle along around .500 then play .600 baseball when they are 10 games out of a playoff spot.

The first time a Phillie does something in the clutch, I might drop dead of astonishment.

(Nothing like a little over reaction on April 3rd, huh?)

The Sarge Needs To Shut Up!

Why did the Phils hire this guy? He's BRUTAL.

Please bring back Scotty Graham. He was great on the radio.

Oh Sh*t

Ryan Madson is coming in!

Lord help us!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have A New Phillie Killer

Yup, you can add Braves catcher Brian McCann to the long, illustrious list of Phillies killers.

In two games this season against our Phils, McCann is hitting .625, 2 homers and 4 RBI's. To make matters worse, I just read that the Braves signed this guy for six years. Wonderful.

To make matters worse, we're heading to Florida to face Hanley Ramirez. I'm sure he's licking his chops already. He demolishes Phillies pitching.

I Hate To Do This...

But is there a worse base runner in the National League than Ryan Howard???

I just watched him get thrown out at home in the bottom of the 8th and as soon as I saw him round third I knew he was (as my man Jules Winfield would say) deader than fried chicken.

I hate to rip the guy because he's an absolute stud at the plate, but he needs to improve his base running or he's going to give me agita.

Ok...let's see if Flash can close this out.

(That is a BIG FAT NOPE! I couldn't even post this before Flash blew the save. MOTHER F&*KER!)

Screw off Sister In Law Banger! No One Saves More Than Bernie!

I realize that only three people will read this article, but I have a real problem with the hockey gods tonight.

This evening, Martin Brodeur of the Devils tied former Flyer, Bernie Parent's record for most wins in a single season. In my mind, Brodeur is not deserving of the record.

First of all, Bernie accumulated 47 wins in a 78 game season which did not have overtime games that were all played to a decisive conclusion. Second and most importantly, Bernie is a much better person that Mar-tan BRO-door. As far as I know, Bernie did not bang the shit out of his brother in law's wife, but that scumbag Brodeur did. Here's a nice little summary of his actions:

Melanie Brodeur alleged that her husband committed adultery "on numerous occasions at a variety of locations." She alleges the adultery has been "ongoing and continuous for a period from the fall of 2002 to present date." The two had been separated before the filing for divorce. Melanie Brodeur alleges that her husband committed adultery with his sister-in-law. His involvement with the village are now done, but the park center is still named after him. Their divorce was completed in 2003.

All I can say to Mr. Brodeur is enjoy the good times now. You've been awarded greatly over the last decade with Stanley Cups, Olympic Gold Medals, Vezina Trophies and other various individual records, but sooner or later, the karma police will catch up with you. If this was an episode of My Name Is Earl, Brodeur would lose all his money and end up with a bad case of the crabs.

In any event, Bernie will always be considered the best goalie of all time to me and many other Flyers phans. Ok, I'll get off my high horse and get on with my life.

"This Loss Is A Microcosm Of The Past Five Years"

Judging by the callers this evening on 610 WIP, the citizens of our fair city are not a group of happy campers this evening. Generally, the phans seem to realize they are over reacting a bit to today's brutal 5-3 extra inning loss to the Braves, but it is clear that their angst is coming from the fact that they so desperately want the Phils to win and get off to a good start so they get behind a winner. However, due all too familiar mistakes, the Phils once again disappointed the phans. Nobody (and boy, do I mean nobody) knows how to rain on a parade on a parade like our Phils.

The thing that is most maddening to me is that the Phils have the phans in the palms of their hands. How can they not realize that the average Philadelphia Sports Phan is ripe for the taking. If they really want to regain a top spot in the sporting fabric of this city, they MUST take advantage of this opportunity. The Flyers and Sixers aren't going to steal any of their luster this April as their seasons will mercifully end in the next week or two, and the Birds aren't making any spotlight stealing off season maneuvers. This is their time, but the Phils have to stop making the same mistakes that have haunted them on their way to slow starts the last five years.

As for the headline of this blog, it was a comment from a caller this evening to 610. It makes so much sense. How many times have we seen Phils' teams blow late leads, fail to score a runner from third with less than 2 outs, look inept in clutch at bats and totally overmatched in the bullpen??? We've seen all of these happen far too many times since the Phils commenced this era of Above Average Mediocrity. Fortunately - or unfortunately - for us, we saw all of these catastrophic events today. I think that's why the phan base is so up in arms tonight. To make matters worse, we have to wait an extra day before the Phils get back on the field to right the wrongs of today's opener.

Well, at least today, me - and apparently a whole of other people - realized that they are ready for some big time baseball to be played in this city. If the Phils can just keep me interested until Eagles Training Camp, I'll be a happy man. That's all I ask.

PSP's Phils '07 Preview - Ill-advised Leap of Faith?

Another Phils' season is upon us and with it comes hopes and expectations that aren't common in these parts. We usually expect nothing out of our Phils. Personally, I only ask that the Phils keep me interested from the end of the Flyers playoffs until the start of the Eagles' season. Well, this year there are no Flyers' playoffs this Spring, so my focus, as well as the entire Delaware Valley, will be on the Phightins' from Jump Street.

To me, this season seems to be shaping up like the upcoming Sopranos final season. We're all hoping for the best, but deep down we expect an episodes to be wasted on a ridiculous dream sequence and a lot of questions to go unanswered...or in the Phils' case, we fear that a good number of games will be blown by the bullpen and a bunch of losses because our inability to manufacture runs.

Our Phils' have contended for the wild card the last handful of seasons. Over the last two years, they've even come down to the last weekend with a shot to make the postseason before bowing out. So, the question this year is whether the Phils finally did enough to get over the hump???

In order to make such a decision, it's helpful to do a comparison of last year's squad to your 2007 Phightin' Phils:

First Base: 2006 Ryan Howard vs. 2007 Ryan Howard: Obviously, this is a push (although, I don't think it is possible for the Big Man to be as outstanding as last year.)

Second Base: 2006 Chase Utley vs. 2007 Chase Utley: Again a push. Chase and the Big Man combine to give the Phils the best right side of the infield in the World.

Shortstop: 2006 J Roll vs. 2007 J Roll: Again a push. Sorry I know this isn't real exciting so far. Although, I like the confidence J Roll showed predicting the Phils to win the Division.

Third Base: 2006 David Bells vs. 2007 Wes Helms: David Bell was brutal at the plate last year before he was traded, but at least he made most of the plays hit right at him. Helms will be a huge improvement at the plate, but I think we'll see an awful lot of Babe-raham Nunez from the 7th inning on. Overall, I still give a slight edge to the 2007 Phils.

Catcher: 2006 Mike Lieberthal vs. 2007 Rod Barajas/Carlos Ruiz: Anyone is better than the defensive liability that was Lieby. The guy was a loser. The pitchers hated throwing to him. I think we'll be much better off this year even if the catchers don't contribute as much offensively.
Left Field: 2006 Pat Burrell/David Dellucci/Jeff Conine vs. 2007 Pat Burrell: Without any real alternatives on the bench to everyone's favorite whipping boy, there is no way this team is better in left field. Big Edge to the 2006 Phils

Centerfield: 2006 Aaron Rowand vs. 2007 Aaron Rowand: This is a real shaky push. It remains to be seen how much Rowand lost as a result of his injuries last year.

Right Field: 2006 Bobby Abreu vs. 2007 Shane Victorino: Push...yes, PUSH! Of course, Bobby was a much better offensive player, but he was such a buzz kill to the team. I don't think it was any surprise that this team took off last year after his personality was removed from the equation. I think Victorino will do a lot of the little things to help this team win.

Bullpen - 2006 Flash, Arthur Rhodes, Cormier vs. 2007 Flash, Madson, Six Finger Alfonseca - The fact that Flash is a year older means this group is not as good as last year. I'll give the 2007 Phils a slight disadvantage. However, we all expect Pat Gillick to make a trade somewhere along the line to upgrade this group.

Starting Pitching: 2006 Myers, Lieber, Madson, Lidle and Hamels vs. 2007 Myers, Moyer, Hamels, Garcia and Eaton: Major edge to the 2007 Phils. Last year, the starting pitching was brutal until about August. This is the biggest upgrade on the team.

Coaching: 2006 Cholly and no real bench coach vs. 2007 Cholly, Jimy Williams and Davey Lopes: Right behind starting pitching, this is the next biggest advantage for the 2007 Phils. I sure hope the new bench coaches put their stamp on the team and keep Cholly from blowing a couple of games a month.

Bench: 2006 David Dellucci and a bunch of turds vs. Some Guy Named Jason Werth and an interchangeable group of Turds: The 2006 Phils get the edge here unless Werth overcomes his past injury problems to become a major surprise.

When all is said and done, the 2007 Phils are the winners by a score of 4-3-5. Yes, as Nick Backay once said, things are much easier when you break them down scientifically.

Ok, we've established this team is better, but is it good enough to finally give us some October baseball? I think this team can contend for the Wild Card, but I don't see us winning the division. However, I don't think we'll be losing out to the team everyone is predicting. I see the Mets taking a step back. I hate their starter pitching and I believe some of their guys will take a step back. I like the Braves to win the NL East.

I agree with the local media pundits that if this team can stay away from their annual April swoon, then their chances to make the playoffs improve a great deal. However, their miserable Exhibition Season is not giving me the warm and fuzzies about the possibilities of them jumping out to a hot start. Although, I do see them going at least .500 and then turning things up a notch as the weather gets warmer here in Philly. Plus, I really believe we will get a bullpen arm come hell or high water. I just hope it's sooner than later because the Phils' motley crew of a bullpen desperately needs an infusion of talent.

Ok guys, this is a leap of faith and I know I will wind up being burned by it, but I'm picking our Phightins' to win 91 games and clinch their first postseason berth since '93.

You Stay Classy, Pat The Bat

After going yard off Dice K yesterday, I was starting to wonder if Pat "The Bat" Burrell was starting to turn things around. Maybe he'd show a new attitude this year. Then I caught wind of this picture.

I'm happy to see that even with a new season upon us, Pat is still a prick. On the bright side, at least he's not flipping of a phan and Lord knows, we'd all like to give Tito Francona the Finger.

(By the way, Deadspin reports this Bird is in response to some good natured ribbing from former manager, Tito Francona.)

Interesting Theory On The Philly Sports Curse

My dad sent me this article from a Comcast.net Sports Forum, which makes an intriguing argument towards blaming the immortal Ivan DeJesus for the years and years of losing we've experienced over the past 24 years. I think it's a stretch to blame a roll player like DeJesus for the magnitude of ineptitude that we've been forced to live through, but like I said, it's an intriguing theory:

The Curse of the Bambino…the Curse of the Billy Goat...the Sports Illustrated Curse. These hexes are known and accepted in sports lore. And yet, when I bring up Philadelphia’s sports curse, I am always scoffed down and shooed away by sports’ elite. But I was born and raised in Philly, and I’m here to tell you…the curse is real.

Not only is it real, it is much worse than its more famous siblings.

We have all heard Chicago and Boston fans wax poetic about the divine intervention that has impeded their happiness (thankfully, after 2004, we no longer have to hear from Red Sox fans). The incessant whining about their hapless baseball teams got incredibly tiring, especially to the poor people of Philadelphia. Because as far as sob stories go, Philadelphia has top bragging rights.

Look at the facts.

In Philly’s 23-year span of incompetence, Boston has celebrated seven championships (three from the Celtics, three from the Pats and one from the Sawx) and Chicago has brought home eight (one from da Bears, six from Michael Jordan and one from the ChiSox).

Even if you take the success of Boston’s and Chicago’s other sports teams out of the equation, Philly still has the Bambino and the Billy Goat beat. Babe Ruth’s curse lasted 86 seasons; Billy Goat’s hex, just 62. But the curse afflicting Philadelphia has been breaking the hearts of the "Boo Birds” for 94 seasons (I’d say it’s safe to include this year’s Sixers and Flyers).

So why does the ineptitude of the Red Sox and Cubs out-headline Philly’s four-sport woefulness? Simple. No national voice has laid out the curse that afflicts Philadelphia fans. I will use this space as an opportunity to do so.

First, let me say that I have researched this for years in vain. Many Philly folks thought they found it with the "Curse of Billy Penn" (hogwash about building skyscrapers taller than Philly’s William Penn statue that stands atop City Hall). But the timing is way off.

The first skyscraper taller than Penn's top hat wasn’t built until 1987. Philly has been cursed since October of ‘83. A curse beginning in ‘87 doesn’t account for the tragic death of Pelle Lindbergh, it doesn’t account for the Phils’ collapse in the ’83 World Series, and it doesn’t explain why the dominating ’83 Sixers fell off the map. No, the "Curse of Billy Penn" doesn’t fit.

So I kept looking. I searched through the annals of Eagles' ticket stubs to see if Birdman's pet mongoose was ever denied entrance. No dice. I scoured through the Sixers' accounting archives for evidence that they sold the rights to Wilt Chamberlain for $20 and the 10,000 phone numbers in his little black book. Nope.

I was just about to give up, when I found it. The turning point in Philly fortunes, the ultimate curse that foiled Philly's providence from that day after; the apogee (or should I say nadir) of sports curses that does indeed belong to Philadelphia.

From this day forward, it shall be known as:

THE CURSE OF IVAN DeJESUS

I know what you’re thinking. Who the heck is Ivan DeJesus?

Allow me to explain.

Everything was peaches for Philadelphia in the early '80s. A young Dick Vermeil took his team to the Super Bowl. The '83 NBA Champion 76ers were bucking up for a decade-long run behind Dr. J, Moses, Mo Cheeks and Andrew Toney. The Flyers had some great talent including Lindbergh, a Hall of Fame lock at goaltender. And the Phils had won the World Series in '80 and entered the '83 Series looking for another.

Times were good. Philadelphia was sailing higher than Bobby Brown (who had the money back then).

But a new wind was about to blow. (You must recite this line out loud using your best “movie announcer guy" voice).

In the ’83 Fall Classic, the Phils split the first two games at Baltimore, and came home to the state-of-the-art Vet for three games in front of a raucous crowd. Game 3 saw Philly jump out to a lead behind Steve Carlton, who was pitching a gem. But then came the seventh inning. Dan Ford hit a weak grounder to short. Our anti-hero, Ivan Dejesus, booted it. Benny Ayala crossed the plate with the winning run. And the Phillies’ fate (as well as Philly's fate) was sealed. The Phils would not win another game in that World Series.

Philadelphia's four professional sports teams have been shut out ever since.

But Russakoff, one error does not a curse make. After all, it wasn’t called the "Bill Buckner Curse."

Very true young Padawan, but let’s delve deeper. Ask me how Ivan DeJesus wound up on the Phillies in the first place. Go on, ask me. Never mind, I'll just tell you.

The Phillies, feeling Larry Bowa was too washed up to play shortstop for a championship team, traded for DeJesus, a supposed upgrade at the position. The only catch: the Phils had to throw in an untested, unheralded minor-league prospect.
Ryne Sandberg.

That's right; Ivan was on the wrong side of the Ryne Sandberg trade--the worst trade in Philadelphia history. (Some would say the Charles Barkley trade for Jeff Hornacek, Tim Perry and Andrew Lang was worse, but at least Philly enjoyed eight years with Barkley.)

The Phils gave away Sandberg, possibly the best second baseman of all time (unless Chase Utley can keep putting up these numbers), before he could even put on that sweet baby-blue retro uniform.

Still not convinced Ivan DeJesus is evil? Get a load of this: Cubs catcher Jody Davis had the final say on Ivan Dejesus’ baseball ethics, accusing him of refusing to tag out Latino players when they attempted to steal second base. This DeJesus character put his friendship with other players above winning. And you think a player like that is above laying down the ultimate curse upon a city?

Add together Dejesus’ error in ’83, his swap for Bowa and Sandberg and his unethical behavior in the infield, and you have the holy trinity of curses, the Bermuda Triangle of hexes, the mother of all kyboshes..."The Curse of Ivan DeJesus"!

How else can you explain the tragic deaths of potential superstar players like Lindbergh and Jerome Brown? Or Phillies' third base DEFENSIVE replacement, Kim Batiste, making error after error in the '93 playoffs? Or Scott Stevens virtually ending Eric Lindros' career with a vicious open-ice hit in the '00 Eastern Conference finals?

Oh, the dubious list doesn't end there…

What about Larry Brown leaving Robert Horry--the best clutch three-point shooter ever--wide open in Game 2 of the '01 NBA finals? Or Terrell Owens breaking his leg in the middle of a season that was tailor-made for an Eagles Super Bowl run? Or, for that matter, Owens' decision to implode a championship-caliber team, just for the fun of it.

Or that hanging slider to Joe Carter…that excruciatingly diabolical hanging slider.

These things do not just continue to happen to an uncursed city. A city with a clean slate has to get one break. One break out of 94. But not Philly. The Big Lebowski character Jesus Quintana said it best, “Nobody messes with DeJesus.”

So, Philadelphia fans boosted by Jimmy Rollins' boasts that the Phillies are the team to beat this season, or looking at Takeo Spikes as the final piece to the Eagles’ Super Bowl puzzle, or banking on a Sixers top draft pick to land Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, don’t let your hopes get too high.

If history has taught Philadelphians anything, it’s that good things just don't happen anymore to Philadelphia sports. Ivan Dejesus made sure of that.

Our Philadelphia Sporting Lives In 5 minutes 13 seconds

Sent in by my buddy, Andy G:



Wow, this guys does an excellent job. I like how it wasn't all negative although Lord knows there are enough bad moments to fill the 5 minutes 13 seconds.