Taken from an actual letter to Bill Simmons of ESPN.com:
"Mr. Simmons,
Even though you have annoyed me by writing about Boston sports the last three months, I want to thank you for reminding me why I no longer care about the Sixers with this passage from your NBA Eastern Conference Season preview:
"Mr. Simmons,
Even though you have annoyed me by writing about Boston sports the last three months, I want to thank you for reminding me why I no longer care about the Sixers with this passage from your NBA Eastern Conference Season preview:
NBA-TV should start a show like "Inside the Actor's Studio," only the guest could be an NBA general manager every week. Then we could hire someone like Rick Kamla to pick Billy King's mind for an hour.Yup, this pretty much sums it up. I just can't get behind this team under any circumstances. The only way you are going to get me to watch a game is if you told me a Pistons/Pacers type brawl would erupt. The only way I'm going to the game is if I was given free tickets and promised an hour long lap dance from one of the Sixers' dancers. Preferably this Sixers dancer from beautiful Sewell, NJ:
"Billy, do you feel embarrassed that the Sixers are carrying nearly $30 million in dead salaries this season? Are you trying to break the record for 'most raw athletes playing the swingman position on a single team?' Instead of giving Sam Dalembert $60 million, did you consider just withdrawing $60 million from the bank and lighting it on fire? On a scale of one to 10, how excited are you to eventually offer Andre Iguodala $20 million more than he's worth? What was the point of trading Steven Hunter's semi-awful contract for Reggie Evans' even-more-awful contract when the Sixers were going nowhere to begin with? Do you feel a sense of pride that you're the only person on the planet except for Willie Green's mother who thought Willie Green was worth $3 million per season? How do you expect Sixers fans to be excited about $15 million in cap space this summer when you're the one spending that cap space? Wait, Billy, where are you going? … "
By the way Mr. Simmons, if you ever decide to name a "Sports Guy" for every city, I ask that you please consider my application. As you can see from the numerous comments on my site, I am beloved by all.
Thank you and keep up the good work.
Your Friend In Sports,
Tony (aka "The Philly Sports Phan")"
Since we all know that ain't happening, odds are you won't be seeing me anytime soon down at the Wachovia Center watching your Philadelphia 76ers.
4 comments:
everyone wanted to move AI. this is what we're faced w/ for the next few years. You're like a typical chick bitchin and moanin at every turn. Again Mr. Wizard, what would you have done?
Mr. Wizard? First of all, I would have fired Billy King a long time ago and brought in a GM that understands the salary cap and who deserves to get paid the kind of money that he lavishes on bums. Next, I would have traded Andre Miller by now and tanked last season to get a draft pick better than Thad Young. I could go on all day....you asked the wrong question.
BTW, is this you Capt? What's w/ the gay "Mr Wizard" references?
whos Capt. and Mr. Wizard if from a movie, name the movie for extra credit.
"Mr. Wizard get me out of here!"
Neo to Tank...the Matrix.
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