Ahhh...To Be Young, Single, and Rich

If you were wondering what the good life looks like, take a gander of Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, Scottie Upshall and Joffrey Lupul. (And you thought Jeff Carter was leaving? I doubt it. He has a Boy's Club here in Philly.)

The only thing I don't understand are the boobs on Richards' chick. I don't think that shirt flatters her. She needs to do something with that rack like maybe a push up bra.

Scottie Upshall is the man. Gotta love the arm over the boob trick. He's a stud.

Joffrey Lupul looks like a douche in the green sunglasses, but I bet he's fun to hang out with.

In any event, this group of pictures leads credence to my theory as to why they get their asses kicked whenever they play a Saturday night home game. They are more eff'n concerned about where they are going after the game, then concentrating on the game at hand. (Someone please remind me of this post next year on their first Saturday night home game. I'd like to lay to down a few sheckles on the opposing team.)

What The Hell Is Going On Here?!?!

I've been reading in various places that the Eagles have a good chance of becoming the surprise team of the 2008 season. However, at this point in the offseason, I'm having a hard time seeing it.

It seems like this season has been one minor squabble after another. First, the Birds signed Asante Samuel to extravagant contract which annoyed Lito Sheppherd, one of their few Pro Bowlers. Then they basically failed to sign anyone else of consequence, despite various rumors of them trying to acquire a top notch wide receiver.

Then the draft came and the Birds once again inexplicably traded away their first round draft pick and came away with an underwhelming, undersized group of players that project to be career backups and role players at best. (My personal favorites were the 220 lb 3rd round Div IAA DE and the 6th Round Div III kid they discovered on You Tube. Christ, I wish I was kidding on both counts.)

Over the last couple weeks, all we've been faced with is Lito's hold out, Hugh Douglas publicly calling out Winston Justice as a gutless dog, whispers that B West is totally unhappy with his contract, the failed Dan Klecko fullback experiment (seriously, did anyone see this working out?), and now the news today that D Mac has a bad shoulder.

The news of #5's bad shoulder should not be minimized. The QB's ability to throw is his lifeblood. When your QB's arm goes bad, your offense becomes entirely predictable because the deep passing game is totally eliminated from the repertoire. Ask Jets' fans what it's like to root for a team with a QB like Chad Pennington that has a bum arm. As someone who watched a fair share of Jets games with a big time Jets fans last year, I can tell you it seems incredibly frustrating.

Camp get here soon enough because I can't wait to finally get some good news about this team.

May The Force Be With Them?

Right now, your Philadelphia Phillies are certifiably hot and starting to get that "look". That "look" hasn't been seen since 1993, but I definitely remember it. You just knew the Macho Row Phils would make whatever plays were necessary to win a big game. After watching this weekend's series against the Braves, I'm starting to get the same feel about this year's team. If you didn't get that feeling after watching Friday night's thriller that featured a dropped pop up to give the Phils the tie in the top of the 9th and then a perfect strike from the Flyin' Hawaiin to barely nail the tying run at the plate to steal the victory, then you are a cold hearted snake.

It appears that Brad Lidge agrees with me, but he puts this special something the 2008 Phils are showing in different terms. Here's his description:

"If you want things in the season to go good, you need to have some of those 'Force be With You' moments. The Force was with us tonight. That was awesome, honestly. Just a weird night. The fact that we were able to tie it up was mysterious, and then we got some runs. (The last play) was so much fun to watch from my perspective. At first I thought there was no way, and then all of a sudden this absolute pea-rod comes in from Shane, on the money and everything. It just was perfect. Like I said, the Force was with us tonight.”

As a fellow Star Wars fan, I like the way this Brad Lidge fella thinks. It's a shame he'll probably be pitching elsewhere next season as the Phils rarely retain players in the final year of their contracts.

In any event, this Braves series was the perfect way to kick off a 9 game road trip. Now, let's see how they do against the 2nd place Marlins with Myers and Hamels lined up to face the Fish. We could start doing some damage if they take care of business in this series.

All they'll have to do is trust their feelings and continue to use the Force.

Welcome Back, Brett

Sure, the Phils lost tonight. It was bound to happen. The bats were cooling off after the quick start on Monday night. They went into a deep sleep this evening and didn't produce a run.

However, that wasn't the big story to come out of this evening. The main thing to come out of the game for me tonight is the arrival of the Brett Myers we expected to see this year. It's taken two months, but Brett Myers finally turned in a dominant performance. He went 7 and 1/3 and gave up only 2 earned runs. Brett carried a no hitter into the 7th, but he lost the no hitter and the shutout in the 7th when some dude named Joey Votto (with a name like that, he has to be pictured somewhere on NJguido.com) knocked in a run with a two out double. What a shame to waste such a performance.

Myers even looked slimmer tonight. Who knows, maybe the Wife Beater bought a Wii Fit over the weekend and started using it in earnest.

In any event, this is the Brett Myers this team needs to make a legit playoff run. If we can get 7 dependable innings out of him every night, then look out because I think this team could make a serious post season run.

I just hope I'm not over reacting.

Eagles Personnel Department: No Football Experience Required

Can someone please explain to me what the Eagles are doing in their front office? I'm totally at a loss trying to understand their latest move.

In case you missed it, the Eagles fired Vice President of Player Personnel, Jason Licht (although it has not yet been officially announced) and replaced him with former Vice President of Football Administration, Howie Roseman. My problem arises from the fact that Roseman appears to have no actual football knowledge. He appears to be from the Joe Banner mold, more than your typical player personnel director who has spent his entire life playing, coaching or scouting football.

It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to have a guy that, while well educated, has such little football experience running such a critical part of the team. I love how Andy Reid says the following about Roseman:

"I feel we have strengthened our personnel staff today by promoting Howie Roseman. Tom's leadership and work ethic has continued to impress me over the years. Tom (Heckert) has also done a great job of nurturing and incorporating Howie's talent into the personnel side of the organization. Howie has demonstrated a sharp eye for talent evaluation along with a knack for creative draft and free agent strategies. Both Tom and I feel Howie will be an excellent addition to the Philadelphia Eagles personnel staff."

Sorry Big Red, this sounds like corporate speak to me. I'd like to see Andy cite a couple of examples before I get the warm and fuzzies over this move.

Plus, everything I read says that Roseman is Banner's protege, which is great except that I'm not sure two capologists are necessary when the league is about to go uncapped in a couple seasons.

I just have a bad feeling about the Birds having a personnel guy effing up while learning on the job.

My Eyes Must Have Deceived Me....

But Adam Eaton threw six innings of one run baseball and lowered his overall ERA to under 5 after the Phils 6-1 win over . Congrats to the Phils and Adam Eaton. It's about time he started to earn his salary of $24.5 million over three years.

Finally, Uncle Cholly has figured out how to use this guy. He is strictly a six inning pitcher. If he gives you a strong six innings, you have to gladly accept it and get him out of the game quicker than Joe Banner says no to a contract re-negotiation. It seems that the Phils have figured this out and realize they need the bullpen ready to roll on nights he pitches.

In any event, it looks like the Phils are starting to put things together at the right time as the first place Marlins are coming to town for a weekend series. We are about to learn a great deal about both teams. (As an aside, I just hope we get Hanley Ramirez out a few times. He is the biggest Phillie killer playing today.) If the Phils can take 2 out of 3, I'll start feeling pretty good about this squad.

And You Thought His Bat Was Big....

You may be aware that Ryan Howard swings a rather large bat. He uses a 35 inch, 34 1/2 ounce bat. However, according to this article from Deadspin.com, he may be the owner of another large "bat" if you catch my drift.

This article reminds me why I didn't choose sports writing as a career.

ERUPTION!

Well, it was bound to happen eventually, but the Phils offense finally woke up in a big way over the past two days. After failing to live up to expectations in the early part of the season, the Phils combined for 35 runs and 35 hits over the past two days. Surprisingly, the Big Man did not contribute a home run either day, but he did have 3 RBI's in tonight's 20-5 win over the Rockies. The only bad thing to come out of the last two nights was that they wasted these runs on starts by Hamels and Moyer, two of our more reliable pitchers. How about save some of those runs for the Wife Beater? He sure needs a laugher to give him some confidence.

Overall, it was nice to see the offense knock around the opponents the last couple nights, let's hope it's a start of a trend.

When We Do Finally Win A Championship, Here's How It Will Play Out

This is too funny. It almost seems like this was scripted as part of a bad movie. I can seriously see the championship trophy breaking like this in Mike Richards, Chase Utley or Donovan McNabb's hands as we finally have our moment in the sun. Hopefully, this snafu causes future trophy makers to ensure that the trophy is in tip top condition before it reaches the trophy presentation.

Positives & Negatives

Tonight was a classic good news/bad news game for the Phightins. Once again, Cole was outstanding and the bullpen was air tight. The Phils need to lock up Hamels long term. He once again showed that he has the potential to be the backbone of the pitching staff for a decade. With all the young guys that have been signed recently to long term deals, Hamels' agent should be phoning the Phils weekly to get something done.

As for the negative, the Phils offense just ain't getting it done lately. They've scored one run in two games. Tonight, they left 10 men on base. That ain't good enough. The Phils have to get their act together. This is a team predicated on their offense. There's no reason to believe that a team with three MVP type players in the middle of their order won't turn things around, but it has reached the point where the Phils need to get the bats going again.

An Absolute Must Read

Came across this great article on SI.com on Philly's long, long, long title-less droughts and the all time low moments during this stretch.

Since we seem to be every writer's favorite punching bag, I love it when someone in the national media finally sticks up for us. This list should be required reading before a national columnist rips us. My buddy Farrell can never understand why I'm such a negative phan. Read this list Farrell and you'll understand. I think you'll agree that 100 title-less seasons kind of takes the warm and fuzzy positivity out of the equation as a sports phan.

There are a ton of low lights on this list and it pretty much explains why I'm such a negative phan. However, these moments are remedial - Philly Sports Moments 101. If you don't remember all of these moments and can't describe them vividly, you're not a true Philly phan.

Anyhow, I unequivocally agree with the moment he ranked as the all time worst. (The 2002 NFC title game loss to the Bucs) . I have never felt worse after a sporting event...(wait, that's not entirely true. I did feel worse when RU lost the Big East Championship and an Orange Bowl bid two years ago to West Virginia. In any event, it is the worst I've ever felt after a Philly loss.) I really thought my buddy the Captain was about to go postal. I worried about him that night. As a phan, I'm not sure I've ever fully recovered from that game. I will never completely turn my heart over to a Philly team. Until we win a title, I will always expect the other shoe to drop and the worst to occur. The Bucs stole our Super Bowl. That was our year. Everything was set up perfectly, until Blaine Bishop blew out his groin musle trying to cover Joe Jurevicius on a 3rd and 2 that turned into a game changing 71 yard pass play.

The only thing I'd add in here are moments when we passed up more talented players in the draft for the stink bombs we've taken (Mike Mamula over Warren Sapp, Freddie Mitchell over Reggie Wayne and Chad Johnson; and Larry Hughes over Dirk Nowitzki) or bad coaching hires (Cholly Manuel over Jim Leyland and Rich Kotite over Jeff Fischer).

Actually, I'm starting to revel in our losing ways. I suppose it is kind of uplifting that we keep coming back over and over, despite years and years of being knocked down. However, on the other hand, our willingness to keep supporting our teams could show that we have something wrong mentally. The most famous Philadelphian of them all, Ben Franklin, did say:

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

Maybe good ol' Ben was on to something. I did spend the good portion of the night watching Brett Myers and expected him to pitch better.

Best Decision I've Made In Years

I know we're all down that the Flyers' season came to crushing end this afternoon, but I have a confession to make....

I missed most of the game while golfing. I did catch the first period, which in retrospect was all I needed to see, but that was only because rain interrupted my round.

From what I've seen in the highlights, I didn't miss anything. Plus, the more I think of it, I'm glad I missed today's game. I now only have good memories of this team. I can head into the offseason with a clear vision of what our Orange & Black can become next year.

However, we all must come to grips on something. Pittsburgh is good. Real good. They might be a bunch of whining little bitches, but those little bitches can play and they are in our division, which means they will be road blocks for the foreseeable future. From here on out, our thinking needs to change.

For years and years, Clarkie molded this team in an effort to beat the Devils. Now, we must look for players that will match up with Crosby, Malkin and Crew. I think this series showed that we need another scoring forward, a good defensive centerman and at least two more defensemen.

In any event, I just want to thank the Flyers for a fun, enjoyable season. They came so far in just one season. I'm pretty Flyered up for the future.

We Live To Play Another Day

I'm thrilled that we won tonight and I have another game to watch before the season ends, but I'm truly not surprised. The NHL totally choreographed this victory. There was no way that the NHL, Gary Bettman, the referees and the Head Of NBC Sports were going to let the Flyers get swept and prevent NBC from showing at least one game showing their Game Of Week on Sunday afternoon.

I told a bunch of people today that the refs would turn their heads away from several calls and make a few others to give our Flyers a chance. There was no way the NHL was losing the opportunity to broadcast their fair haired boy. I really don't care if this was a charity win. I'll take it. Hoefully, we can build on this.

The Guy With The Ten Cent Head No Longer Has A Million Dollar Arm

It used to not be such a big deal that Brett Myers was a complete head case because he had a pretty good arm that would help pull his ass out of the fire. After moving back into the starting rotation this year, that arm, which had served him so well in years past, has seemed to abandon him. Tonight, he gave up gopher ball after gopher ball to the Braves on his way to picking up another loss. His pitching line tonight: eight runs and nine hits in 4 1/3 innings. That line is plain old UGLY.

It sure seems that Myers hasn't changed his mindset from being a closer to being a starter again. His velocity is down and he's giving up home runs at an alarming rate. Myers better pull his head out of his ass because this team desperately needs him. There is no way this team can compete without him or someone else to fill the #2 starter role behind Cole Hamels.

On the bright side, at least he didn't rip the fans for booing him. He at least understands that he sucks right now.

It's All Over. Thanks For A Great Season

After tonight, it's become abundantly clear. The Flyers have brought a knife to a gun fight.

Unfortunately, while the Pens are at the top of their powers, the Flyers have been neutered by the loss of their two top defensemen. I still believe they could have competed in this series with a healthy Kimmo and Coburn, but at this point what does it matter? There's nothing left in this series, but the crying because this series is O-V-E-R. I just hope they can either win a game, or more preferably, take out Malkin or Crosby.

In any event, this was a wildly successful season. I don't think anyone expected them to get to the Eastern Conference Finals. I just can't wait to see what Holmgren does with another offseason. After what he did last year, I can only imagine what he'll do this summer.

This series is not goodbye. It is hello. I have the distinct feeling that we're going to see many more postseason runs by this team. They just have that gritty, gutty feel to me.

Sick To My Stomach

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Flyers coverage with some Eagles news. I apologize in advance for any inconvenience.

I think I'm ready to turn the page on the Andy Reid era. I'm just sick and tired of his act. I think his time has come and gone. Just listen to this interview (click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2) and tell me you are not annoyed.

Normally, Angelo Cataldi annoys me, but he does a pretty decent job here.

Missing Person Alert!

Has anyone seen Danny Briere this weekend? Seriously, I am not sure I witnessed #48 out on the ice in Games 1 or 2. Did he have a single good scoring chance in either game? Even when he was bad in the second half of the season, he still made plays while on the man advantage. So far in this series, he's not even noticeable while on the power play. Hopefully, when the Flyers get home and have the last change, we can get better matchups for Briere and he can make more of a difference.

By the way, where was the Penguin Killer tonight? Did RJ Umberger make the trip to the Igloo. I didn't notice him at all.

However, as bad as Briere has been, he has not been as bad as the Versus broadcast. They are absolutely brutal. The announcers, Joe Beninati and Darren Eliot, are flat out killing me. They bring zero emotion to the game, miss things over and over, fail to show key replays, and give the game the general feel of a preseason matchup instead of the league semi finals. This series is crying out for Gary Thorne and Bill Clement or Doc Emerick and JD (yes, I realize he's not available), but instead we're given a couple guys that sound like they are auditioning for the WNBA. Overall, I'm totally depressed watching these games and it's not because we've lost two straight.

The refs were pretty bad tonight, but fortunately they were bad both ways. I still can't figure out how the video ref couldn't determine that was a goal late in the first period. The Hatcher penalty that led to the Pens' second goal was brutal. He played text book defense and somehow the refs found a penalty. The Briere goaltender interference penalty was pure and utter bullshit. I'm still shaking my head at that one. All in all, the refs didn't lose the game for the Flyers tonight or in Game 1.

The Flyers have lost the first two games because of the loss of Kimmo Timonen and Braydon Cobourn tonight. If you take the top two defensemen off any team, they are going to struggle to the point where they look like an entirely different team. That's what we're seeing now. They miss these two guys tremendously. The other defensemen are stepping up admirably in the defensive zone, but other than Randy Jones, they are adding nothing offensively. It is downright frustrating to see how this team is changed due to injuries.

Finally, I'll throw in a few positives. Mike Richards is a stud. A complete stud. He is a winner. He just needs a little help. Jeff Carter had a goal tonight, but we need more from him on a shift by shift basis. I also like the way Scottie Upshall is playing. His speed, grit and effort are noticeable on just about every shift.

With the series heading back to Philly for Game 3 on Tuesday, the season comes down to the next game. I just pray that our gritty, gutty Flyers have another victory or two in them. I'd love to see this series extended.

On a More Positive Note....

A friend of mine from high school, FBI agent Bill Shute helped find the third cop killer yesterday. What a great job, by Bill and the rest of the people involved.

Bill even gets a few quotes Check out the article.

Un-F&*king-Believable

This city is cursed. There's no other way to put it. How many times does bizarre shit have to happen before everyone just accepts that the Sports Gods will not let us win. How else can you explain the bizarre timing of the announcement of Timonen's injury. We might be the first franchise in Sports history to lose a top player during a week layoff.

Christ, why couldn't this happen to Lasse Kukkonen or Randy Jones? No, it has to happen to our best effing player! That my friends, is how we roll. No matter how good things look, trouble is just around the corner. I've been pretty much beside myself. I really thought this team had a chance to win the Cup. Now, we'll be lucky to win a game against Pittsburgh. Yes, that's how much Timonen means to this team.

I really can't explain what's going on here. It's way too depressing.

In any event, I suppose I'll make a pick on the series. I see the Pens in 5.

Calm Before The Storm....

This break between series is killing me. After three straight weeks of nightly playoff games between the Flyers and Sixers, I am bored. I need the Eastern Conference Finals to start today.

I have been reading story after story about how these teams hate each other and it has me totally jacked up. Plus, I love how every single expert has picked the Penguins to win the series. It's time like these you wish you could have Bill Bellichick consult with the Flyers. You know he'd have a print out of these picks in each player's locker and start chanting "the whole world is against you. No one thinks you can win." That type of stuff seems to work real well in the NFL. Maybe John Stevens can use this tactic to our benefit.

Anyhow, I also have the feeling that after this series we will hate Sidney Crosby worse than any athlete in this city since Joe Carter, T.O. or Michael Irvin. T oget you ready for the hate, here's some of Crosby's antics:

From the Lottery To the Final Four!

There's not many things in sports quite as satisfying as a team coming together at exactly the right time. We haven't had the privilege of that happening to many of our Philly teams over the years, but I think our Flyers are close to something really great happening in our city. To my eye, this team is starting to get a worst to first, '93 Phils feel to them. They even have the Mitch Williams type flair for the dramatics with their inability to hold leads.

Right now, the Flyers have all 18 skaters playing as a team. These are not the Eric Lindros era Flyers where we have one dependable line and an entire team of supporting characters. Different lines step it up every night. The current team has three lines that can score and play defense, and a fourth line that brings energy and puck possession. The defensive corps is quite possibly the best we've had since the Keenan era. The top pairing is as good as any left in the playoffs and the second pairing isn't bad either. Plus, now that Stevens has finally realized that Kukkonen is a better option than Modry, the third pairing isn't such a detriment anymore.

They seem to have a ton of intangibles going for them. Since none of us are in "the room", it's hard to say for sure, but this team certainly seems to have a ton of leadership coming to the forefront right now. I love the resiliency with which they play. Nothing seems to bother them all that much. They just keep plugging along from game to game and series to series.

Most importantly, Mar-TAN BEE-ron is playing excellently right now. He's making the big save at the right time and giving us a chance to win every game. For once, it has been nice to see one of our goal tenders get inside a team's head instead of the other way around. Seriously, when is the last time that happened? The last goalie to do that in Orange & Black, has to be Hextall back in '87, right?

While watching the series against the Canadiens, I had a bout of deja vu. The way the Flyers beat the Habs seemed to be the textbook manner in which the Devils have toyed with the Flyres for the past decade. I've always come away from Devils losses saying to myself, "how did we lose that game? We outshot and outchanced them. They just scored on a couple lucky bounces and we couldn't convert ours." It's nice to finally be the team that maximizes their chances while letting the more "offensively gifted" team compile shots and chances from the perimeter.

Later in the week, I'll get into how we match up with Pittsburgh and how I see that series ending up, but let's enjoy this one for a while. Post season series victories like this don't come around too often, so we should definitely savor them.

"We're In His Kitchen"

It doesn't happen very often, but tonight's crowd at the Wachovia Center affected the outcome of tonight's game. For once, the lunatics at one of our local sporting venues was able to rattle a young, talented athlete to the point that he was not able to perform anywhere near his best. I have a feeling that Carey Price will not forget his first playoff game in Philly. The crowd got the 20 year old goal tender so worked up that he let in 3 goals on 12 shots. Yup, that's a stellar .750% save percentage.

In fact, tonight's interview with Scottie Upshall at the end of the 2nd period, was one of my all time favorite mid-game interviews of a Philly athlete. Scottie was asked if he thought the Flyers had rattled Price. Upshall tried to be diplomatic by answering that Price "is very talented", but then slyly admitted "we're in his kitchen right now." I love bravado like that.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Mar-TAN BEE-ron. All I can say is: where the eff have you been hiding this type of performance? BEE-ron has been unbelievable the last two games. He is the biggest reason this series is not 3-0 Habs.

Ok, that was the good of tonight's playoff victory. Here's the bad: The officiating. I really don't like to complain about the refs, but something fishy is going on in this series. Was Hatcher's selfish hit in the third period a penalty? Sure, it was, but a 5 minute major? No effing way. It almost seemed as if Gary Bettman called the refs between stoppages of play to tell the refs to start putting the Habs on the powerplay to make the game more interesting.

At this point, I'm sick of the officiating in the playoffs. It almost seems as if the NHL has handed down an edict that we are to be kicked out of the playoffs at all costs, but we keep on winning.

I'm not sure if I can take it though. Tonight's game took years off my life. I was really banking on the Flyers cruising through the 3rd period, but of course, they did not make it easy. I actually threw something at the TV after the 2nd Habs goal. I was not fun to be around.

But isn't that the story of this season? I'm guessing there's a lot more left to this roller coaster ride.

Weekend Wrap Up

Wow, what a weekend for sports, huh? I'm guessing a lot of you didn't get a whole lot done over the last three days. Today alone, I had 6 events that I was flipping between. (My remote got a workout. Thank God that my remote thumb, in comparison to the rest of my body, is in good shape.) You can't ask for anything more on a crappy day in the end of April. Well, unless you're my wife, she can always find a multitude of additional things to ask for.

Without further adieu, let's get to the highlights:

1) Flyers even up their series: Unfortunately, I didn't get to see a second of this game since I was at a wedding Saturday night, but from the highlights I watched, BEE-ron stole a victory for the Orange & Black. We looked as though we were badly outshot and outplayed, but only Mar-TAN saved us from defeat. Over the past decade, how many times can you say a Flyers goalie stole a victory for us in the playoffs? I can't think of many, so this victory was quite satisfying. Additionally, I also like that this series is generating a little bad blood and controversy with the crappy refereeing in Game 1 and the sucker punch of Timonen at the end of Game 2. It's almost like watching the WWE. In any event, things sure will be interesting as the series switches to Philly.

By the way, here is additional version of the Hitler You Tube video. While I like the Cowboy one best because it was first, this one is pretty good since it involves us:

2.) Sixers split their two games at home this weekend - I'm still not on this bandwagon. I watched about 30 seconds over both games this weekend. I guess a review from me would be kind of fruitless since I barely watched both games.

3) Phillies take two out of three from the Bucs - Of course I'm happy when the Phils win, but with every thing going on this weekend, I didn't catch a pitch. I'm guessing the only thing to complain about is that Brett Myers can't seem to win ballgames this year.

4) The Eagles Draft - If you want to see one decision annoy an entire wedding full of fans, try showing up a wedding after the Birds trade away another first round draft pick. I'm really tired of the organizational arrogance from this team. They look at reporters like they are crazy when Big Red is asked whether a 228 lb DE (our third round pick). I suppose the Laws and Jackson picks could pan out, but I'm a little reluctant to go out on a limb an say they will be big time players for this franchise. However, I will go out on a limb and say that only one pick from thw 2nd day is with the team after 4 years. Not a single guy jumped out at me. I love how an 8-8 team can draft like they have no immediate needs. That's the feedback I got. Additionally, I'm just tired of this team continually saving for a "tomorrow" that's never coming.

The best part of the draft was that my boy Ray Rice got picked in the 2nd round by the Ravens. I now have a second favorite team to root for.

Over the next week, I ask that you guys bare with me. My long nightmare is just about over. I have one more effing paper to finish and I'll be done with M.B.A. program and then I get back to blogging as my main side project (aren't you guys lucky!) I really can't wait. I have some ideas on how to improve the website. Hopefully, you guys will like it.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

After being the benefactor of some questionable calls on Tuesday night, the Flyers got hosed multiple times in their 4-3 OT loss to the Habs. I thought they were screwed by the review of the first Kovalev goal AND the penalty on Richards with 1:09 left was brutal. That being said, if Jeff Carter wins a faceoff or if BEE-ron makes one more save, the Flyers take a 1-0 lead in the series.

Overall, I was pretty happy with how the Flyers played. They did not seem out of place against the Habs the way they did in their four losses to them in the regular season.

In any event, the big guns (Briere, Richards and Carter) have been quiet since early in Game 6 against the Caps. I'd really like to see them step it up on Saturday night. Matter of fact, we need them to step it up or this could be a real short series.

In any event, I'm depressed. Good night.

To Prove I Am An Equal Opportunity Blogger...

The Phils and Sixers lost today. The Phils lost tonight as Prince Fielder's fat ass absolutely owned Cole, taking him yard twice. You might have missed the game because it was on CN8, which has the most disgraceful picture in all of MLB. The Phils would be better off being televised on local cable access television.

I watched about 30 seconds of tonight's Sixers game, which makes tonight no different than all 82 games of the regular season. Apparently, the Pistons showed up to the arena and remind the Sixers that they are still...well, the Sixers.

Oh, and there were more rumors of the Birds trying to make a trade. None of these rumors have yet come to fruition.

Discuss amongst yourselves....

Where's The Public Outcry?

Had the following happened in Philly it would have been the leading story on Sports Center and Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon would be ripping our fans for an entire week. There is such a double standard when it comes to our fan base vs the rest of the world. I really hate the national media sometimes.

Best Prediction I've Read From The Best Hockey Writer In The City

I just had to share this prediction (or should I say non prediciton) from Bill Meltzer of Hockeybuzz.com.

Outside of Philadelphia, any series involving the Flyers will generally be cast as the dastardly, dirty Flyers against an opponent who represents all that is good and pure about the game. It's annoying and tiresome, but it will never change. (THIS STATEMENT IS SO TRUE!)

As far as expert predictions go, who cares?

No one truly knows heading into a series what type of personality it will take on, and momentum can change in a hurry. The more you watch hockey, the more you realize that it's impossible to predict.

Any talking head or know-it-all columnist who claims they have a bead on this or any other series should be confronted with their success percentage in making accurate predictions -- even the best of the bunch have "winning percentages" that would get an NHL head coach fired or a goaltender released.

On paper, this is the Habs series to lose. But, as the cliche goes, there's a reason why the games are played on ice and not on paper.

I highly recommend reading Bill's stuff if you are a Flyers fan. You will learn so much about the game and I have learned more about the sport from reading his blog entries on Hockeybuzz.com than I have from years and years of reading the Inquirer and Daily News coverage.

As for my prediction....I see the Canadiens in 6. (Sorry, I have to be a realist here.)

Montreal Is Full Of Fairies

This is by far the sorriest fan video I've ever seen. I can no longer take this team or their fan base seriously. I sure hope they play this before the games because it must emasculate the Habs right on the spot.




How much did they have to pay the Brother to be in this gay video. My guess is that the guy is Haitian and was shipped in just for the video to lend some street cred.

F&*k Yeah!!!!!!!!!

Despite the fact that I was almost thrown out of the house after letting out a huge outburst of joyous expletives (similar to that listed above) while my daughter was sleeping, I was truly over joyed this evening. It's not very often that you are absolutely stunned by the result of a game, but tonight surely fit the bill. I did not think the Flyers had any shot whatsoever of winning tonight. I fully expected a 5-1 drubbing where we fell apart at the seams after a couple bad penalty calls. However, we were instead given the gift of watching a gritty, gutty team scrap and claw its way to victory.

Winning a playoff series is one of the more enjoyable things to see your team accomplish. To see them win it in a 7th game is even more exhilarating. When it happens in O.T. of game 7, we are talking a whole other level. The toll it takes on your body is unexplainable...and no, I'm not talking about the players. I'm talking about us phans! I told my wife and my buddy Uncle Farrell that I wasn't sure if I could watch the entire game as I think it is doing damage to my health. Farrell laughed at first as he's not all that familiar with the great sport of hockey, but with about 2 minutes left in the third period and says "I know what you mean. This is pretty intense."

I'm just glad to see the Flyers move on. It seems like forever since they beat Toronto on that O.T. goal by J.R. to move onto the Eastern Conference finals. We can talk about the next series and how I'm conflicted with my rooting interests at a later day. Let's enjoy this one for a day or so.

In the Infamous Words of Terry Murray....

What we have here is a choking situation.

I'm disgusted. I'm really shocked at how this team melted down after taking a 2-0 lead early in the 2nd period. I don't think the Caps are a better team then the Flyers. The Flyers just got steamrolled from about the 5 minute mark of the 2nd period through the rest of the game. Once things started going south, there was no turning things around for the Flyers.

By the way, not sure if you noticed, but the Caps got back into the series when they realized that Semen and Backstrom could score at will when Jason Smith is on the ice. I love how small our captain has come up this year. Don't let the door hit you in the ass at the end of the year, Jason.

Can they turn things around for tomorrow night? I really don't know. This team has been brutal all year in back to backs. Why should things change now?

Black Saturday

It doesn't get any worse for Philly Sports than it did today.

Let's recap the horrors in sequential order:

1) The Flyers lost game 5 in Washington today, losing Mike Knuble for the rest of the series in the process with a hamstring injury. The Flyers have no one else to blame than themselves as they didn't decide to show up until the 3rd period and were unable to overcome terrible officiating in the final period. The Flyers better take care of business on Monday back at the big bank building or things could get awfully interesting.

2) The Phils fail to get any timely hits and lose 4-2 to the Mets. Who was it that said that we own the Mets are in their head? That guy is a real idiot because the Phils haven't beaten the Mets since. In case you missed it, we are still waiting for Ryan Howards to get a bit hit.



3) B Hop drops a split decision to some dude from Wales named Joe with an unpronouncable last name. (Let's call him Joe C.) As B Hop suggested, I have let this fight "marinate in my mind" and have decided that B Hop needs to hang it up. He just got worked by a dude that looks like he should be doing my taxes, not beating an all time great fighter. By the way, the best part of the fight (other than Max Kellerman's outstanding commentary) was Joe C's father, who served as his trainer. I never heard such entertaining uses of the F word. He deserves much more air time.

I'm Spent

I got nothing left. I don't think I could have gone much longer with that game. I know its been said a gazillion times, but it bears repeating....There is absolutely nothing in sports quite like Overtime Hockey. How can you not love it.

What a game. What a relief.

Thank God for Mike Knuble and Jeff Carter.

Good night...GREAT HOCKEY!

Happy Schedule Day!

In case you live under a rock in the Philadelphia area, the Eagles' schedule was released today, which is always one of the bigger days in the city. I know I get pretty excited for it. The funny thing is that over the last five years or so, I think I have the Birds 10-6 every year and my buddy the Capt has them 11-5 or 12-4. This year, he's at 12-4 and I'm at 9-7. I hope he's right. Originally, I had them at 10-6, but then figured I should move one game to the loss category because they always lose to someone they should beat.

Anyhow, here's the schedule. What do you guys see?

September
DAY... DATE.... OPPONENT..... TIME
Sun....... 7.......... RAMS................ 1:00 PM
Mon......15........ @ Cowboys........8:30 PM
Sun...... 21........ STEELERS........ 4:15 PM
Sun...... 28....... @ Bears.............. 8:15 PM

October
DAY.... DATE.... OPPONENT....TIME
Sun.........5.......... REDSKINS......1:00 PM
Sun........12........ @ 49ers........... 4:15 PM
Sun........19........ BYE
Sun....... 26....... FALCONS........ 1:00 PM

November
DAY..... DATE..... OPPONENT... TIME
Sun.......... 2......... @ Seahawks.... 4:15 PM
Sun.......... 9......... GIANTS........... 8:15 PM
Sun......... 16........ @ Bengals........ 1:00 PM
Sun......... 23........ @ Ravens........ 1:00 PM
Thurs..... 27........ CARDINALS... 8:00 PM

December
DAY.... DATE..... OPPONENT..... TIME
Sun........ 7........... @ Giants........... 1:00 PM
Mon...... 15.......... BROWNS.......... 8:30 PM
Sun....... 21.......... @ Redskins...... 1:00 PM
Sun....... 28.......... COWBOYS....... 1:00 PM

Gotta Love Playoff Hockey

Games like tonight are what make you a hockey fan. How can you not like a game that has a lot of fast paced action, highlight goals, big hits, good goaltending, as well as a little bit of drama and controversy. To top it off, the Flyers won the game. Not sure how you could walk away from this game and not be a bigger fan of the sport.

Anyhow, you have to be awfully impressed with how Danny Briere has stepped up in the playoffs. Traditionally, smaller, quick, skilled players disappear when the playoffs come. Not Danny. He scoring big goal after big goal. He's certainly starting to live up to his big contract. I don't think you'll hear anyone booing him anytime soon at home games anymore.

How clutch was Mike Richards' penalty shot goal? I'm not sure we've seen a more clutch player in this city in any sport over the last five years or so.

Nice to see big Derian Hatcher back. It seems like he was made to play in the playoffs. Gotta love big, nasty, mean defensemen.

Has anyone seen Alexander Ovechkin lately? Just wondering.

That Mike Green kid is scary good. He has a cannon shot, can pass the puck and skate like the wind. He kind of looks like a latter day Paul Coffey.

The Flyers have now outplayed the Caps in 7 1/2 of 9 periods. That 3rd period of Game One really annoys me. We could be looking at a short series.

I thought the penalty kill was pretty strong once again. I just wish the Flyers played a bit smarter and stayed out of the box so much.

Thursday can't get here soon enough. Can't wait.

Say Your Prayers and Hold Your Breath

We may have seen the season flash before our eyes towards the end of the 2nd period when Brooks Laich cheap shotted Kimmo Timonen into the net causing him an upper body injury from which he did not return. (Apparently, he was hurt when he hit the camera in the back of the net....Does ridiculous, freak shit like that happen anywhere else but in Philadlephia? If anyone can think of bullshit like that happening to any team anywhere else, please let me know. I'd love to know.) Adding insult to injury, Laich later scored a goal on a disputed high stick tip in.

I just hope and pray Timmonen is ok. We may beat the Caps without him, but that's it. With him in the lineup, this team could do some damage in the Eastern Conference.

Please Lord, let Kimo be ok. I know I'm being selfish here, but we really need the fella on the ice!
If he's not, I'm hoping Riley Cote gives Laich the Jessie Boulerice treatment.


(Just make sure to scroll to the 59 second mark for the action!)

This Guy Has Balls!

By playing tonight against the Caps, there is no explanation necessary for Patrick Thoresen's testicular fortitude.

Ok, in case you missed it, Thoresen took a shot to the nuts in Game 1 that broke his cup. Yes, you read that right. It broke his cup. He went to the hospital with bruised balls and then played tonight five days later.

He didn't score tonight, but played a hard nosed, gritty game. Nice job, Patrick. Nice job.

You Wonder Why We Are One Of The Top Ten Most Frustrated Sports Cities

This week, Forbes magazine released their list of the Ten Most Miserable Sports Cities. Philly was ranked 9th. After the last couple days, I think we've moved up a few slots. In the span of three days, we have had the refs/umps totally screw us in three different sports. Let us count the ways:

1) On Sunday, the umpires ruled a completely foul ball a home run when video replay would have clearly over turned it.

2) The refs found a way to screw the Sixers on Monday that I had never seen in all my years of watching sports. The Sixers/Cavs game ended with the Cavs missing a shot with no time left. Then, the refs went to video replay to see if a foul occurred prior to the end of the game. I'm still not sure this was legal.

3) Tonight, the refs time and time again tried to screw the Flyers. They let the Caps score on a high stick tip in by the same guy that was allowed to cheap shot our best defenseman out of the game. They called a penalty when Alex Ovechkin dove worse than anything Sidney Crosby has ever done.

Thank God the refs turned things around and called a clear penalty shot chance for the Flyers. Had they swallowed their whistles there, I think I might have destroyed my t.v.

That Was More Like It!

Thanks to some early opportunistic goal scoring, competent defensive play, and unexpectedly outstanding goaltending, your Philadelphia Flyers are back to all square in their first round playoff series.

As well as the Flyers played today, you can't help but have a "what if" feeling tonight. Had the Flyers just played a little tighter defense, the refs called a stoppage a play after Thoreson took a slap shot to the nuts or BEE-ron made a key save or two at some point in the third period on Friday night, then the Flyers would be in the driver seat as they head back to Philly. Instead, the Flyers come back tied and looking very much like a confident team that knows it is better than this Capitals team.

One of the bigger changes I noticed today was how much contact affected the play of Caps' defenseman, Mike Green. He looked like a different player after getting hit a few times. By contrast, Ovechkin didn't seem as interested and I wonder if it was because he wasn't involved in the physical play as much as he was on Friday.

The one thing that has me a bit worried is our inability to establish ourselves down low and pound in some goals. Most of the goals so far we've scored against the Caps have been off the rush. I'm waiting to see Richards, Lupul, Hartnell, Upshall an Knuble start to wear down the Caps defense and knock in some goals from in close.

Basically, the Flyers have been the better of the two teams for 5 of the 6 periods so far. If the Flyers can continue to play like they did today, I think we'll like the results for the rest of the series.

*************************************

Other thoughts from the weekend:

1) Gotta love Action News' lead story tonight: A Flyer's wife delays child birth for playoff game. In case you missed it, apparently Mar-TAN BEE-ron's wife delayed the birth of their child until tomorrow so Martin would be there to see the kid born.

2) The Phils blew a good chance today to get over the .500 mark. I don't know what happened to Chase on that ill fated throw in the 10th inning. I don't know why he rushed himself so much to try to throw out a pitcher. Overall, it was a good series for the Phils. On Saturday, Cole once again showed that is undoubtedly the best starting pitcher the Phils have had since Schill.

3) Memo to Sixers: It's kind of important to go into the playoffs on a roll. How about showing up and giving a good effort.

4) The final round of the Masters was completely boring. It's a shame Tiger missed all those putts on the back nine it could have made Immelman's last couple holes pretty interesting.

5) Is anyone else intrigued by the complete lack of news coming from the Eagles as of late? I'm wondering if they have something up their sleeve.

Absolutely Pathetic

Tonight's third period was quite possibly the worst period of hockey played by a Flyers team in my lifetime.

I'm physically ill thinking about how they melted down in the third period. The ice seemed slanted. Did the Flyers spend any time in the offensive zone in the third period? It was downright disgraceful.

Once again, this team showed a split personality. They can look dominant and then completely uninspired. I still blame the coach. I really don't think he's the guy to get this team anywhere.

By the way, can someone lay a hit on someone in an opposite uniform? Sure, the stats said there were a ton of hits, but seemed like they did a lot more flying around then we did. I really want to see someone knock Ovechkin on his ass. He's already annoying me.

I don't want to see much more of Jaroslav Modry he completely blows.

Did BEE-ron make one big save? It didn't seem like it.

Seriously, how the eff do they let Brashear score a goal? I don't think he played the entire third period.

Game 2 is a must win. Either they win or this may be a short series.

Back Where They Belong

After a one year hiatus, your Philadelphia Flyers are back in the playoffs and I am happy. To me, there are very few things in sports better than a hotly contested NHL playoff series. Let's hope we have one upon us. I think we do. Both teams play fast and loose, which usually translates to pretty exciting hockey. Plus, both teams play with a degree of physicality, which should make things pretty interesting at each stoppage of play.

There are a few keys to the series, but the biggest key is not what you think. Sure, the Flyers' ability to defend Ovechkin will play a huge role in the series, but I think biggest key is which Mar-TAN BEE-ron shows up. Will we get the guy that played very beginning and very end of the season, or the guy that played from December to February? If we get the "good" Mar-TAN, I think the Flyers can win in 5 games. If not, this series will be a struggle with the Flyers likely losing.

I expect big series from Mike Richards and Scott Hartnell. I also expect either Carter or Briere to have a decent series as well. I also want to see how Braydon Coburn holds up playing against AO. That should be an interesting matchup.

As for an official pick, I'll stick with what I had yesterday. Flyers in 6.

With the start of the Masters upon us and the Phils getting into the swing of things, we have one of the best weekends of Philadelphia sports. Enjoy it, guys.

My NHL Playoff Picks

Some of you care, most don't. In any event, here are my NHL Playoff picks:



First Round:



West:


(1) Detroit over (8) Nashville - I really wish this series was a loser leave town match for Nashville. Do we really need hockey in Nashville? Would anyone miss it if they moved to Hamilton, Ontario? Didn't think so.



(7) Calgary over (2) San Jose - Of course I have the benefit of watching the first half of game one when making this pick, but San Jose is as soft as ever. Dion Phaneuf has the Sharks more worried about him than playing hockey.



(4) Anaheim over (5) Dallas - See above. Dallas is soft. Anaheim is not and they have the best collection of defensemen in the world and we all know that defense is like pitching when it comes to the post season. You can't win without it.



(6) Colorado over (3) Minnesota - Your guess is as good as mine. I know nothing about either team except that Forsberg is now playing for the Avs.



East:



(1) Habs over (8) Bruins - I have a $50 futures bet with 15-1 odds on the Canadiens winning the cup. If you want to say I'm slightly biased with this pick, then you are well within your right.



(2) Pittsburgh over (7) Senators - If you want to see a team that has totally quit on their fans, organization, etc., then tune in one of these games with the Senators. They can't get onto the golf course fast enough.



(6) Flyers over (3) Caps - Alex Ovechkin is the best athlete you've never seen. Capt, you are about to be wowed. This guy is Michael Jordan in skates. All that being said, I think the Flyers are deeper, nastier and more defensively sound, which will lead to a series win in 6 games. I have to admit though, Mar-tan BEE-ron scares the bejeezus out of me.



(5) Rangers over (4) Devils - Thankfully, the Devils are matched up with the one team that routinely handles them which should make for a quick exit by the Sister In Law Banger and Friends.



Second Round:


West:



(7) Calgary over (1) Detroit - See above. Detroit is as soft as Todd Pinkston. Calgary will pound them on their way to their second straight upset.



(4) Anaheim over (6) Colorado - By about the third game of the series, Forsberg will be back in Sweden looking for new skate for his bad foot.



East:



(1) Habs over (6) Flyers - I love the Flyers, but I think winning $750 would make me happier. In all seriousness, the Flyers don't have the horses on defense to shut down a team like the Habs.



(2) Pittsburgh over (5) Rangers - There's no way the NHL won't rig the playoffs to ensure that Sidney Crosby makes at least the Eastern Conference Finals.



Conference Finals:



(4) Ducks over (7) Flames - The clock strikes midnight for the Flames.



(1) Habs over (2) Pens - Crosby gets bent over and takes it like a man in this series.

Stanley Cup Finals:

Habs over Ducks - The Philly Sports Phan wins his bet and Vegas and the world is good!

And People Wonder Why We're Such A Negative Group Of Fans?

Just yesterday, I gloated about how I believed the Phils were in the Mets heads and how our hated rivals were ready to crumble over the rest of the series. Well, I certainly learned my lesson tonight as the Phils got pounded 8-2. And you guys wonder why I can be so negative about our teams.

Yup, you never get a chance to get too high on your horse about the teams in this town as the roof could come crashing down at any time. Don't worry, I'll play my cards more close to the vest going forward and keep a lid on my positive thoughts.

Anyhow, at what point do we officially have to worry about Kyle Kendrick. Tonight, Kendrick lasted only 2 and 1/3 innings, giving up only one earned run, but walked 6 (yes, 6 walks in 2.1 innings!) and gave up 4 hits. You can officially consider me nervous. The decision not to sign Kyle Lohse could end up looking like a huge mistake if Kendrick doesn't get his sh*t together and start getting people out.

I'm not going to get all worried about J Roll until he has an X Ray or MRI that provides an unfavorable result. Until such time, I'm going to pretend like everything is ok with the reigning MVP. That being said, it is doubtful he plays tomorrow. However. we might not need him. We have that noted Mets killer Adam Eaton on the hill tomorrow.

I don't know about you, but I like our chances.

Are We In Their Heads?

After nine straight wins, the question has to be asked, doesn't it? Are we in the heads of the Mets? Are the Mets playing the role of the Flyers, while the Phils are doing their best impression of the Flyers?

It's not like the Phils played phenomenally today or beat the Mets up. Of the big three, only J Roll had an above average game today. The Phils just waited until the Mets self destructed and then pounced on the opportunity. Fluky games like today make you wonder if the Phils have some sort of cosmic hold over the Mets.

Of course, as I write this, I am totally paranoid that I'm jinxing the Phils for the rest of the season. As a true Philly Phan you know that you can never get all that confident with any of our teams as the other shoe could drop at any moment. But for once, why don't we gloat on our successes?!?

How wonderful was it to see those New Yawkers squirming again? The best part of this series is that the Mets don't have the opportunity to throw their beloved Johan at us. They'll have to wait to when they come to CBP April 18-20.

Different Closer, Same Result

After witnessing Brad Lidge's debut this afternoon as the Phils' new closer, I'm now convinced that there is no human alive or dead that could walk into a game in the 9th inning and consistently make it look easy. No matter who it is, our closer will make us sweat it out.

In case you missed it, here was Lidge's 9th inning:

Lidge, who came off the disabled list Saturday after recovering from knee surgery, walked Paul Bako with two outs to start the rally. So Taguchi dropped Corey Patterson's fly ball after a long run, and pinch-hitter Ken Griffey Jr. was intentionally walked.

Lidge bounced a wild pitch that let in a run, then struck out Javier Valentin on a 95 mph fastball that plate umpire Hunter Wendelstedt judged to be on the outside corner.

Thank God I was at work and did not actually witness this near calamity. Lidge better not make this a regular occurrence.

Seriously, A 37? Seriously? This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

Ok, this is sort of sports related and gave me a big laugh, so here it goes. Fire away....

I don't want to get all political on you guys, but Clay Travis hits the nail on the head here about Obama and bowlingate. Are you telling me he couldn't bowl better than a 37? Can this country really elect a guy that can't bowl better than a 37?

Here's the video:



Here's the article:

Words matter to Barack Obama. But spares and strikes don't. That's the only thing you can conclude after Obama's disastrous game in Pennsylvania. The man who could be president bowled a 37. In 10 frames. Quick ClayNation math tells us that's an average of a paltry 3.7 pins per frame. Obama's bowling score of 37 is less than the number of Presidents we've had -- 43. Unacceptable.

Over a year ago I suggested that the person who ended up being elected President was going to be the top fan-in-chief. That we'd entered an era where, "For better or worse, we now choose our President based not on such antiquated notions of intelligence, skill or acumen, but rather, on whom we would prefer to attend a football game with." (This is either a new high or a new low in that I'm now quoting myself in my own column from previous columns. I'm inclined to believe it's the latter.)

After all the fawning press coverage over Obama's basketball playing and the like, I was inclined to write a column announcing it was clear that Barack Obama was going to be our next President. But then bowlingate happened. (Is anyone else annoyed that every time a new political scandal emerges the media adds a "gate" at the end? At first this was mildly amusing in the way that looking at your grandmother's 485 pictures of her kitten lying on the couch is mildly amusing. Next thing you know it turns scary when she e-mails to say she's changed her will to leave everything to the kitten. Yep, Kittengate.) It was frightening to see the man the press has turned into a superb athlete stumble and bumble his way down the lane. The would-be President had no clothes. Obama looked like a flamingo on skates, a pink dolphin trying to walk on land -- an utter and complete non-athlete. John Fitzgerald Kennedy? Hardly. Obama meet Steve Forbes.

Don't believe me? Here's the video of Obama's bowling performance.

Plainly, Obama's becoming President would be alarming given my fan-in-chief theory. Nobody watches football games with the guy who bowls a 37. They just don't. Guys who bowl 37s own the football teams, they don't root for them.

Watch this video. I love how Obama tries to start off confident when he's getting the bowling shoes. Look at the jaunty steps and beaming smile. You know that inside he was trembling in fear. We've all been there, about to play a sport that we know we're going to do really bad at but no one else suspects how truly terrible it's going to get. For me it's like playing badminton. But we try and convince ourselves that we're actually better at the sport than we are just before the game begins. Watch Obama strut around just before the bowling game begins.

You know what I'm talking about -- you stand off to the side sort of rolling your neck and then loosen up your shoulders with a couple of shoulder shrugs, maybe windmill the arms a few times, just to slacken up the old joints. Then you start playing and you are horrible. It takes a little while for the confidence to fade. Witness the first gutter ball, watch the strut immediately after. It's OK, Obama seems to be saying, I got the next one. Only he didn't. At all. Ever. He was bad, really bad. This sort of ghastly performance could end up swaying the primary in Pennsylvania. First rule of politics/life, if you truly suck at something do it privately. (Bill Clinton thinks this should be modified to if anyone sucks anything, but that's excessive.)

Do you know how many redneck white people in Pennsylvania base their lives around bowling? How many leagues are going to be tipping back pitchers of beer while they ridicule this performance? Redneck white people take bowling seriously. It's like ping pong to the Chinese or camel racing to Arab oil sheiks. You don't mess with the purity of their sport.

I know because I grew up around lots of redneck white people who love bowling. Hell, I love bowling. True story: When I was a kid and first heard the term redneck I asked my dad what it meant. My dad said, "Well, some people think everybody in the South is a redneck. But we're not." I asked him why we weren't and he said, "Well, rednecks shoot off fireworks in their back yards and wear t-shirts everywhere they go." That was it. And that made perfect sense to me. We were out shopping for father's day when I was 8 and I picked out a t-shirt for my dad and my mom was like, "Clay, your dad won't wear a t-shirt out in public. That's what rednecks do." And I wanted to slap myself in the forehead because I'd been so dumb to forget about this. Anyway, in addition to deciding elections as the ultimate swing voters, rednecks are also good at bowling. And every redneck knows that bowling a 37 is indefensible.

Let's be clear, there's no nuance or complicated strategy involved in bowling -- there's a ball and you roll it straight ahead. No one is playing defense or trying to stop your ball from reaching the pins. I'm not saying that you have to put up a 200 or bowl three strikes in a row, or even one strike, but if you're a good athlete you should be able to roll a ball straight and break 100. Easily. Especially if you're a fully grown man. Don't believe me and think Obama's score was decent? Hillary Clinton held a press conference yesterday to make fun of Obama's bowling. Yep, Hillary Clinton is talking trash to Obama. Did you ever think that would be possible? Just in case you're not a bowler here's what bowling a 37 is like in 13 other sports:

1. Showing up for a baseball game, being sent to the outfield, picking up a rolling baseball and throwing it underhanded back to the infield.
2. Shooting a 298 during a leisurely 18 holes of golf
3. Insisting on wearing arm floaties for the start of a triathlon
4. Being unable to hit a single tennis ball back over the net to your opponent
5. Dribbling a basketball with both hands while intently staring at the ground as soon as the ball is passed to you
6. Not being strong enough to have a dart reach the board at a bar. Then, putting all your weight behind the dart toss, and hitting a bespectacled man at the adjoining booth in the left earlobe
7. Pinning yourself in the weight room while bench-pressing only the bar
8. Playing croquet
9. Starting the Tour de France with training wheels
10. Driving the Indy 500 without ever shifting out of first gear
11. Showing up for a football game in the state of Alabama carrying a soccer ball
12. Boxing with your thumb inside your fist
13. Each time someone sets the volleyball for you, shrieking and running in the other direction with your hands on top of your head

Screw the debates and answering the red phone at 3 in the morning, it's time for Obama to lock himself inside a bowling alley and master what's really important: rolling a ball in a straight line. Anything less and Bowlingate will continue to fester.

Takin' Care Of Bidness

This weekend the Flyers showed what they were made of. They faced two crucial games and came away with two shutout victories. They came into the weekend seeded 9th on the outside looking in and finished the season ranked 6th facing a team with less points than them. Seriously, what more could you have asked from them?

Friday night's game was possibly the best performance I've seen by a Flyers team against the Devils since Brodeur came on the scene. In case you have forgotten, the Flyers and Devils are rivals in as much as the Hammer and the Nail are rivals. Usually, the Flyers can't help but get pounded no matter what they do. Surprisingly, the Flyers absolutely dominated the Devils and somehow remained completely disciplined while protecting a 1-0 lead before breaking the game open late in the third period. Watching the Sister in Law Banger (aka Martin Brodeur) get pulled was one of the more satisfying sports moments I've experienced in the last year or so.

(As a side note to Friday's game, I totally reverse mooshed the Flyers into victory. I found out my brother was going to the game, which freaked me out since they never win when he's there. Before the game, I thanked him for ensuring a Flyers' loss. My negativity surely spurred the Flyers to victory.)

Today's game against the Pens was a little anti climatic since a playoff spot was already clinched, but it was important nonetheless. A first round matchup against the Pens could have forced me to stop watching the sport. I'm sure Bettman and his henchman would not have allowed the Flyers to win that series. In an effort to give their fair hair boy the easiest road possible to the 2nd round of the playoffs, the disparity in the number of power plays would have been absolutely ridiculous. I'm thankful to not have to put up with the conspiracy that would have ensued.

Today's game also showed that the Pens wanted no part of a first round series with the Flyers. By benching Crosby and looking lethargic most of the game, the Pens showed that they wanted the path of least resistance in the first round. I was kind of surprised with how lifeless they looked.



As for the upcoming first round series with the Caps, I'm not sure how excited to get over this matchup. Sure, I'm happy to see the Caps instead of the Canadiens, but the Caps are certifiably hot right now. It's kind of like last year's Phils/Rockies first round matchups. Everyone around here overlooked how hot the Rockies were because of how the Phils had just stormed back to win the division.



Personally, I love the matchup, but for different reasons then you suspect. Sure, everyone focuses on Alexander Ovechkin (the best player in the league, not that pansy Sidney Crosby), but the Caps are a very tough, physical team. I think this series could be a brawl. While we do not have a singular superstar on par with AO, we do have a deep group of scorers and three lines that can contribute offensively.



I like the Flyers in 6 tough games.

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Other random thoughts:

1) Congrats to the Sixers. Their turnaround is almost as impressive as the Flyers'. I'm just not sure if it is for the best on a going forward basis. Personally, I'd rather have seen them get one more lottery pick to build with instead of ending up with a first round series against the Pistons.

2.) Another early season series for the Phils. I think I might have mooshed the Phils. I turned on the game in the bottom of the 8th and thought I was somehow dreaming when I saw that Adam Eaton was pitching into the 8th. Sure enough, he gave up a HR a couple batters later and the Phils eventually lost when Chad Durbin channeled his inner Jose Mesa. The start by Eaton was pretty encouraging though. It was nice to see. Hopefully, he can build off it. I didn't see a pitch of today's game, but what's up with the offense. These guys better wake up.

3.) Kansas beats Memphis tomorrow night for the NCAA title. Kansas looked too physical and athletic to me.

4.) As excited as I am for the Flyers and Sixers playoff series, I think I'm more excited for the Masters to start this week.

Absolute Travesty

Until this evening, I don't think I could ever say I watched a game that I truly 100% believed was fixed. (One caveat, I didn't have the pleasure of watching any of those NBA games reffed by Tim Donaghy). What the referees did to the Flyers was absolutely obscene. I am completely convinced that the league ensured that the Flyers lost this evening. It was gruesome to watch.

Never in my life have I seen an after the whistle scrum end up with two penalties called on one team and none on the others. It's not like the Pens weren't willing combatants during the scrum. There was also a blatant high stick to the face of Scott Hartnell right in front of the ref that went uncalled. So very frustrating.

Plus, the way the refs call plays involving Sidney Crosby are flat out embarrassing for this league. Sure, it is not uncommon for leagues to protect superstars through officiating, but what the league is doing to coddle and protect Crosby is ridiculous. It's almost as though Gary Bettman sent out a league wide memo that Crosby cannot be touched, but can also do whatever he wants all over the ice.

What a sad, sad evening.

Help Is On The Way...Or Maybe Not

Playing the role of Jose Mesa for the 2008 Phillies is Rudy Seanez.

In case you missed the latest bargain basement signing by the Phils, here are the details:

The Phillies just added a little pitching help.

They have signed righthander Rudy Seanez to a major-league contract, a baseball source confirmed today. Seanez, 39, went 6-3 with a 3.79 ERA and one save in a career-high 73 appearances last season for the Los Angeles Dodgers. In his 16-year career, he is 36-26 with a 4.15 ERA.

The Dodgers released Seanez last week after a 7.71 ERA in spring training. He had signed a non-guaranteed contract with the Dodgers earlier this year.

Seanez is expected to be in uniform for tomorrow's game against the Nationals.

I don't know about you guys, but I feel infinitely more secure about our bullpen now that Rudy is on the scene.