As Bad As Yesterday Was...

Today was much better when it comes to the Philly Sports scene. There was enough decent Phillies articles today that almost made me forget that an ice storm had turned the Delaware Valley into a giant ice rink. Let's go to the highlights, shall we:

• Sorry ladies, but the Sex Panther, aka Pat "the Bat" Burrell, is off the market. Jim Salisbury's column in today's Inky reveals that the King of the Third Called Strike has gotten engaged in the offseason. This move takes me by surprise. I'm guessing that he either knocked up some young lady or contracted a bad case of herpes or the clap and has the common decency to not pass it. The article also mentions that Pat is quite upset by Dallas Green's comments this offseason...Sorry I have to post them again for shits and giggles, as I get a good chuckle every time I read it:
  

  "It's time for Pat to look in the mirror. He's 30 years old. Damn, time is slipping by here. It's neat to have money, it's neat to have good looks, and it's neat to have broads all over you. But there comes a time in every player's life when he needs to get his act together."

• People may say that Bill Conlin has lost his fast ball, but I totally disagree. He's probably still my favorite columnist in the city. I love the line he closes his column with:
  

  I don't think the Phils are dumb enough to break up this winning lineup by trading Rowand for some seventh-inning setup clone. But these guys are not closing in on 10,000 losses because they hold lifetime memberships in Mensa.
  
  

  Plus, I totally agree with his proposed Phils' lineup. Here it is (check his column for his reasoning on each spot):
  

  RF - Shane Victorino
  CF - Aaron Rowand
  2B - Chase Utley
  1B - Ryan Howard
  SS - Jimmy Rollins
  LF - King of the Called Third Strike
  3B - Wes Helms/Baberaham Nunez
  C - Barajas/Ruiz/Coste

• Our favorite Master of The Obvious, Chollie Manuel, points out to Pompous Marcus Hayes that the Phils need to get off to a better start this year and states the following:
  
  

  "I think there's a difference between being ready to start the season and being ready to start the season winning. You don't want to fall behind eight or 10 games in June."

  Thanks, Uncle Cholly. I hope the boys take heed of your sage advice.

• Here are a couple other interesting tidbits from Marcus' article:

  Charlie Manuel said he met with Jon Lieber 3 weeks ago in Philadelphia. Lieber fretted over being involved in trade talks. Manuel soothed him by assuring him that the Phillies never shopped him; rather, Manuel said, they only listened to offers. (Nothing like lying to making him feel better, huh?)

Pat Burrell is still coping with a chronic problem with his right foot for a fourth straight year. (Does Pat Burrell have the same foot doctor as Peter Forsberg?)

Manuel also said he won't use Gordon for more than an inning the first couple of months and he hopes that he doesn't use him more than 2 days in a row for most of the season. (Nice job, Gillick....you think you might want to get some insurance for Flash? Sounds like Flash is going to be babied all year.)